Page 94 of I Married Kayog
“For what?” Linsea asked, with a bit of a challenge in her voice. “And don’t you dare spew more of that nonsense about failing as a mate or father. Thanks to you, I got to experience pregnancy with a wonderful partner. Although very brief, I also got to experience motherhood to the sweetest angel.”
“But I couldn’t save her,” I said in a choked voice.
“No onecould. Fate had other plans for our baby. Do not focus on our loss but on the gift that was bestowed upon us,” Linsea said forcefully. “I heard her song, Kayog! Through you, through our bond, I heard the song of our daughter. Nothing can ever compare to that. The love she brought into our life will stay forever with me, with you, with us. Knowing what I knownow, given the choice whether to do this again, I would say yes without hesitation. I cannot bear the thought that Thea might have never been in our lives.”
Those words struck me hard but also changed my entire view of the situation. It didn’t take away the pain, but it helped me cope in a way I didn’t think I could have before. Yes, I couldn’t imagine a world where I never would have met my baby.
Thea would forever be with me, in my heart.
Over the next few days, we had many conversations about our future, and about trying again to start a family. In the end, we agreed that I would have a vasectomy. We also decided not to pursue adoption for the time being—although I strongly suspected that we would never do it. It wasn’t that we didn’t love the idea of becoming parents, but we didn’t want to replace Thea. An adopted child deserved to be fully loved without reservations or hesitation. In our current headspace, we feared we might resent the innocent child we adopted for not sharing with us the same perfect connection we had with our baby.
You didn’t gamble with someone else’s life, least of all a young one seeking a forever home and a place to belong.
Sadly, I went through a somewhat dark phase where I didn’t immediately resume matchmaking but instead took on the type of missions for the Enforcers that I always said I didn’t want to perform. Although it disturbed Linsea, she understood and supported me within reason, while reminding me not to lose myself over grief. But performing rescue missions, especially ones where hostages were taken, or mass shooting scenarios where countless lives were on the line seriously helped me work through my guilt.
Although I knew better, I couldn’t help feeling like I failed my child by not finding a cure. These tangible actions allowing me to save numerous lives soothed my sense of inadequacy. People got to live because of specific things I did.
With time—and a hefty dose of therapy—I finally found my way back to the light. In a way, every woman I matched became a daughter to me. Often, I would picture that these women were in fact my Thea facing a similar plight. It drove me to try even harder to do right by them and grant them the happiness they deserved.
The months gave way to years. And three decades later, Linsea and I were living the dream careers we aspired to back in university. As the number of my successful matches increased, so did my influence. With my mate becoming one of the most respected ambassadors for the UPO, we were a force to be reckoned with.
My Linsea turned out to be a genius in pointing me to various programs that I could leverage to help the couples I matched. In other cases, she was the mastermind pulling the strings in the shadows to launch programs that didn’t exist but that completely turned around the challenging circumstances of certain species.
One such amazing success had been helping make the Daughters of Meterion program come true. Despite my previous meddling in other pairings, the UPO initially tried to give me a hard time over some of the dowries I wanted to send.
By then, Colin had moved on to even higher spheres of the Enforcers. Thankfully, his son Tedrick took over his previous role—which slightly evolved over the years. It had been strange going from being his Uncle Kai to now having him in a senior position over me—although that was unofficial as I technically wasn’t a member of either the UPO or the Enforcers.
Still, Tedrick filled me with pride. Contrary to the vitriol spewed by jealous people, he hadn’t inherited his role. He worked his ass off and earned every accolade and promotions he received. He shared the same vision for the two organizations ashis father did. But he’d been even more die-hard in building his core team of trusted collaborators and agents.
I’d just found a match for Susan, a delightful young woman raised on Meterion—a farming colony—and doomed to a life of hardship simply because she was a third daughter and therefore deemed a burden. She’d been quite troubled to be paired with an Andturian named Olix—a lizardman species that had fallen on hard times.
When I presented the dowry list for Susan, the UPO started balking. I was on my way to Xecania, the Andturian homeworld when I received a vidcom request from Tedrick. I was already chuckling even as I accepted the call.
“Kayog, up to mischief again?” Tedrick asked in a falsely severe tone, in lieu of greeting.
“When am I not?” I deadpanned.
He snorted, and his handsome face—so similar to his father’s—softened. He ran a hand over his short black hair and leveled his gray eyes on me.
“The UPO is breathing down my neck over your latest requests,” Tedrick said in a more serious tone. “I know you like to push the limits for the sake of your clients, but you know what major risks are involved whenever you introduce new plants or animals in a foreign ecosystem. That’s a lot of seeds you want shipped to Xecania. Those seeds produce plants that are not local to that environment.”
“Of course, and as you undoubtedly guessed, I didn’t do so lightly,” I said in a reassuring tone. “Our science department went over all the seeds I proposed to make sure none of them would be a threat to that planet.”
“I suspected as much. So thank you for confirming it. However, I’m having a much harder time justifying you including reezia berry seeds in the order,” Tedrick said. “This is not a fruit either humans or Andturians normally consume.”
“No,” I conceded. “Nor is it for them.”
He stiffened and immediately narrowed his eyes at me. “Then why would you include it?”
“Because the Bozengi refugees would be keenly interested in them,” I said with a shrug.
“We cannot meddle in the local population’s affairs. You know that,” Tedrick said, his voice hardening.
“Nor am I,” I retorted with the most dishonest innocent face. “I’m providing a variety of safe seeds for a gifted farmer to grow on that world. It is up to Susan whether she does it or not. But if she’s wise, she could use them in a way that could significantly help her new people. The decision will be entirely hers and the Andturians to make. Therefore, no rule has been broken.”
“You’re playing a dangerous game, Kayog,” he said, looking troubled.
“Xecania has the potential of becoming the food pantry of the galaxy while giving back to its people control of their own planet. The Andturians are on the verge of starvation while sitting on some of the most fertile agricultural lands in the entire sector. I’m merely giving them the tools to set them on that path and fight back the conglomerates trying to appropriate their lands, if they so choose. Isn’t that what we’re here for?”
