Page 74 of I Married Kayog
My eyes flicked between his as I studied his features. Once again, his words deeply touched me. I had indeed developed a more than cordial relationship with my doctors and trainers. The few times I’d been able to read their emotions revealed a genuine desire from them to see me thrive. The rest of the time, every single one of their actions and words reinforced my opinion that they were all good people with my best interests at heart.
“You can deactivate the circlet and read me so you know that I’m speaking the truth,” Colin offered.
I shook my head. “It’s not necessary, I know you are.”
A subtle smile stretched his lips before he tilted his head to the side while giving me an assessing look.
“You’re smart, charismatic, one of the most impressive fighters I’ve seen—”
“Stop,” I interrupted him in an imperious tone. “I have no interest in becoming a soldier. I don’t want to be an assassin, a spy, part of an infiltration team, or any of that other stuff.”
“But you’re formidable enough to excel in all of those fields,” Colin argued, even though his tone was more factual than attempting to be convincing. “Your tests in the holodeck speak for themselves. Not to mention the fact that you clearly enjoy battle.”
“In a competitive setting, yes,” I conceded. “But I’m not a killer nor a predator. I like to win, to be the best, and excel at anything I do. I have no desire to cause harm. If you look carefully at my tests, you will see that I never used lethal force on my opponents, not even the nightmarish monsters you threw at me.”
Colin pursed his lips and slowly nodded. By the look in his eyes, he was fully aware of my non-lethal approach throughout my training. Right this instant, I kicked myself for not taking him up on his offer to disable my circlet so that I could have a better understanding of how he was feeling about it. Did he think me weak? Did he wonder if it was a ploy to make myself look less dangerous than I truly was? Did he assume it was a limitation on my powers that kept me from inflicting greater damage?
“Do you know what kept me alive through the chaos that had been ruining my life?” I suddenly asked.
He shook his head, his eyes gleaming with keen interest.
“Joy,” I said calmly. “Positive emotions soothed the pain I was in. This was one of the main reasons I joined the band. Have you ever been to a concert or sports event?”
He nodded in a self-evident manner.
“People attend them because the energy is electric. You want to be surrounded by that collective enthusiasm. It’s contagious and makes the experience far greater than when you watch it alone in your home. It is almost like a hive mind that has everyone vibrating to the same tune for the duration of the event. But hatred, anger, and fear are extremely harmful to me. They’re slimy and stab at my brain. I hate how those emotions feel, not to mention the pain they inflict me.”
“Right,” Colin said pensively. “Arafin explained that you perceive other people’s emotions both as physical and sensory manifestations.”
“I do. Therefore, I would never consent to performing a job that subjects me to these emotions or drives me to inflict them onto others. I want to protect people and bring them joy. The most wondrous feelings are hope, happiness, love, and above all being in the presence of soulmates.”
To my surprise, Colin smirked with a knowing expression. “I knew you would say something like that.”
“Oh?” I said, my curiosity piqued.
“Although your psychiatric evaluations state that you have very strong hunter and predator instincts, you’re dominantly a protector and nurturer,” Colin said with a slightly dejected expression. “It’s a pity, really. You could have been one of our best squad leaders. But your offensive side will only kick in if you feel threatened, and especially if you see someone vulnerable in danger. You wouldn’t thrive in the types of roles I would have wanted for you. That leaves us with the question of what shall we do with you?”
A fair question I had been pondering myself from the moment Linsea warned me the Enforcer’s director would attempt to recruit me again.
“Maybe I should become an alien matchmaker,” I said teasingly.
To my shock, Colin didn’t smile or laugh at my lame joke but gave me an assessing look instead.
“It was a joke,” I said in a self-evident tone when he appeared to be weighing the merit of that statement.
He tilted his head to the side and gave me an odd look. “Was it?”
“Of course!” I exclaimed forcefully. “I was just repeating a random comment a friend made a while back to lighten the mood. And anyway, what the fuck would the Enforcers or the UPO want with a matchmaker?”
“You’re passionate about primitive species, are you not?” Colin asked, ignoring my question.
“Absolutely,” I replied in an imperious tone. “They must be defended at all costs against greedy conglomerates and questionable people seeking to profit from more vulnerablespecies. Every world should have the right to evolve at their own pace and according to their own terms.”
“Exactly,” he said with a satisfied expression. “And you could help make that happen by matching them.”
My brain froze, and I stared at him in complete confusion. What the fuck did that even mean? How did pairing a couple in any way help achieve the protection of primitive species?
He gave me an indulgent smile. “Throughout history, marriage has been used to build strong alliances between peoples. Primitive species are generally closed off and inaccessible to the commonfolk. You could help open those doors.”
