Page 18 of A Vampire in a Pear Tree
“Oh, lordy-loo.”The woman who I figured was the one named Macha stopped and slapped her hands on her thighs.“This is ridiculous, Jerry.It’s obvious that Owain is hale and hearty, although that mine ghost looks unhinged.She could do anything, and I’m wearing Miu Miu.I’m not risking that with a madwoman brandishing pepper spray.I’m going back to my Hour.”
“Will you stop protecting me?”Owain asked, his brows pulled together.Even frowning, the man was drop-dead gorgeous.“Thank you.Now get behind me so that I may face my mother’s wrath without any of it spilling onto you.”
“Dammit!Stop reading my smutty thoughts about you,” I told him, and refused to be shoved back.I gestured with my pepper spray toward the now two women.“I’m responsible for this situation, so I’m going to fix it.Let me do that, and then we’ll talk about why you think it’s OK to give me orders.”
Jerry lunged at me at that moment, her fingernails like claws as she grabbed at me.Panicked, I leaped backward, at the same time my fingers tightened on the pepper spray, resulting in a stream of spray hitting her dead in the face.The woman named Badb caught the edge of the cone of liquid, both women immediately screaming, while Jerry went to her knees clutching her face.
“Blessed goddess!”I gasped when I realized what I’d done.
“Holy shit,” one of the ravens said.“She took down the Morrigan.Right, that’s us done.”
The fluttering of wings faded behind us as I started forward, intending on helping Jerry.“I didn’t mean to actually spray you.Here, let me wipe it off.”
“You will do no such thing,” Owain said, grabbing me by the arm and spinning me around.We were halfway down the alley before a second passed.
I tried to look over my shoulder, but Owain’s legs were longer than mine, and I almost had to trot to keep up with him.“I didn’t really want to pepper spray her,” I explained.
“I know you didn’t, but it’s exactly what we needed to escape.”We emerged onto a busy street, Owain quickly surveying the situation, while I looked back.Badb was standing over her sister, who was still kneeling, rocking back and forth.“I’m not sure it will be safe to return to my flat, since my mother knows where I live.We will have to find accommodations elsewhere—who are you calling now?”
An unfortunate desire to giggle rose at the outrage in his voice, but I quelled it even as I tucked away the restaurant’s business card, which I’d grabbed for future visits.“Calling the dragon people to have them help your mom and aunt.Hi, there are two pepper-sprayed ...er ...druids?”I hesitated, eyeing Owain as he decided on a direction, and more or less hauled me down the sidewalk.
“Celtic gods,” Owain corrected.
I blinked a couple of times, having figured the part of Wikipedia I’d read about the Morrigan was referring to mythology, not real life, but duly repeated, “There are two Celtic gods in the alley behind your garden who need medical aid.”
“Ah,” the man who answered the phone said.“Do they?We will attend to them.Who is this?I ask merely so I may inform them of the name of their Good Samaritan.”
“Yeah, I’m not really that,” I admitted.“I’m the one who pepper sprayed them.Thanks so much!”
I hung up to the sound of the man sputtering.
“She will be fine in a few minutes,” Owain said, lifting his hand when he spotted a taxi.“Gods, Celtic and otherwise, tend not to be overly affected by such things.Do you reside in London?”
“In the suburbs, yes,” I answered, still feeling bad about inadvertently spraying Owain’s mom and aunt.“Are you sure they’ll be OK?”
“Yes.Does Jerry have your address?”
“I think so.Why?Do you think she’ll come after me for attacking her?”I fretted with that thought, adding it to the woes that beset me.
“No, but if she knows where you live, it will not be safe for us to stay there.We’ll find a hotel.”
“I’m not going to a hotel with you,” I said, refusing to get into the cab when it pulled up before us.“Your lower lip and jaw and hair aside, I don’t go to hotels with men I’ve just met.”
“You are in danger from my mother,” Owain argued.“I can protect you from her taking vengeance upon you.”
“A vengeance that is justified, although again, I feel compelled to say I truly did not intend to spray her.I wanted to threaten her so we could get away.”
“Which is why you will come with me.I know you did not mean to harm her, but she will believe you have turned on her.She does not tolerate those she deems as traitors.Get in the cab so that we can find somewhere safe.”
“I’m very good at apologies,” I protested, refusing again to be pushed into the taxi.“Goddess knows I’ve had enough experience offering them.You go find a safe place where she can’t find you, and I’ll go back and apologize.And stop making that face.She can’t hurt me, not really.I’m a knocker.I’m immortal.”
He leaned close, his breath touching my cheek.“You may be immortal, but I assure you that you can be killed.”
“Well, yes, strictly speaking, I guess that’s true, but it would take someone of exceptional power....”My words slowed and came to an abrupt stop when I realized what I was saying.
Owain nodded.“Like a Celtic god.I don’t wish to frighten you, but if she regains the boon she gave my brothers and me, I guarantee she’d not only be able to destroy you; she’d happily do so.She’s a very vengeful person.Just ask any number of ancient kings of Ireland.”
“Oy,” I said, glancing worriedly toward the alley.
