Page 54 of Midnight in the Garden of Okay and Meh
The Hashmallim suddenly reared back; then the long, robe-covered arms rose and seemed to cover his head before he spun around and oozed his way up the stairs at a fairly fast clip.
“Oh yeah, I remember you,” I called after him. “Want some more of my hump, my hump, my lovely lady lumps?”
“What on earth?” Mabel asked, her voice momentarily incredulous.
I looked back again and waggled my eyebrows at her. “‘My Humps’ by Black Eyed Peas. It got me out of the Akasha the time I was stuck here by a bad Guardian. Had to sing it nonstop for three days before he threw me out. Guess he remembers me!”
The other Hashmallim weren’t so affected, and after standing like a row of intensely scary robe-covered statues apparently made out of the stuff that is in a black hole, one of them lifted an arm and pointed it at Parisi. “You are no longer Sovereign,” he said in a voice that sounded like two granite slabs grinding together.
“I am a warrior of the blood,” she repeated. “Stand aside, or you will be destroyed.”
Behind her, Finch and Hunter exchanged glances; then both hefted their weapons and stepped forward next to us.
“Leave,” the chatty one said. “Now.”
“Excellent. You want to do this the hard way,” she answered, and rolled her shoulders again before lifting her sword.
“I don’t know that I’d do what you’re thinking of doing—” Sally started to say, but Parisi evidently wasn’t going to wait around to see what the Hashmallim would do.
She was on the first one in the time between heartbeats, slashing and cutting and twirling around him in a dance that was simultaneously beautiful and horrible.
Finch yelled something in French and jumped forward to another Hashmallim, while Hunter, with a profane oath under his breath, shifted into a smoky-colored dragon and roared so loudly as he attacked, the echoes seemed to go on forever.
I joined in the fun as much as I could, although it turns out that the Hashmallim’s bodies were oddly intangible. Every time I thought I was clamping down on a calf or thigh, the form seemed to melt away in my mouth.
That’s when the other three Hashmallim showed up and immediately jumped into the fray. Things went chaotic then, with dark power being splashed all over the place by the Hashmallim, sending both me and Finch flying across the room to slam into one of the stone walls. Little corgi-shaped stars danced before my eyes for a few seconds before I heard a high, feminine scream, and suddenly, I was on my feet, racing across the room to where four of the Hashmallim had ganged up on Parisi.
Hunter and Finch, now back-to-back, were attacking the other two while trying to stay out of the way of the spells and dark power that was thrown at them.
Parisi screamed again as she went down under a massive black mound that was the Hashmallim pig-piling on her.
“Nooo!” I yelled, but when I was halfway across the room, a black shape emerged from the water and, before I could blink, was throwing Hashmallim off my mom.
It was Desi, and he apparently had no trouble dealing with the Hashmallim, because he seemed to twist their forms until they dissolved into nothing, their long black robes drifting to the ground.
Parisi rose, blood dripping from a scratch on her cheek. For a moment she and Desi stared at each other; then he reached out and gently touched the blood on her face, saying something in a language that sounded really old.
“Get them out of here,” I heard Sally tell Mabel. “As soon as the last Hashmallim is sent back to the Court, take them to Aisling’s house.”
“Is that what happens to them when they’re destroyed?” Mabel asked, her eyes huge as she watched Finch and Hunter fight.
“Yes. Get ready,” Sally answered, and I could feel her pulling in power around herself.
“All right, but it has to be their wish,” Mabel warned.
Evidently Desi realized there were still two Hashmallim, now caught in battle with Hunter and Finch, and he left Parisi to fling himself on the gaolers.
It was over in less than a minute. I stood panting and still spitting out the taste of boggart blood when Mabel hustled forward. “Right, now is the time we leave. Parisi, I can take you and Desislav to Aisling’s house. Sound good? Desislav, you agree? Awesome! Off we go.”
She didn’t really give them time to agree—she just grabbed Parisi’s arm with one hand, and Desi’s with the other, and boom! They were gone.
“And now you two,” Sally said, her hands dancing as she spoke the words of banishment, sending Hunter and me to the Akasha.
I don’t know how long we were there, but it was enough time for me to go to the nearest vending machine and see if they had anything good to nom. They didn’t, because it was a place of punishment, so the whole thing was filled with Raisinets, Necco Wafers, and Circus Peanuts. “And ain’t no one gonna eat those,” I told Hunter.
He looked like he was about to answer, but blipped out of the Akasha. A few seconds later, Aisling summoned me, too.
“—and I don’t know why you’re making such a big deal about it,” she was saying to an obviously furious Drake. He stood glaring at her with smoke curling out of his nose. “It was nothing. Absolutely nothing.”
