Page 33 of Midnight in the Garden of Okay and Meh
“Er ...” She gave an embarrassed cough. “Would you mind me asking you why, when you are a nice-looking man—handsome, even—you take the form of a shaggy black dog?”
“I’m a Newfoundland, not a shaggy black dog,” Jim said in haughty tones as it shifted back to being a shaggy black dog. “The best of all dogs, and the best being in the world. Just look at this magnificent coat. And my white chest spot. It’s almost shaped like a star, which I think is telling. And I have three white toes. Got ’em the last time my form was destroyed, and I had to take a new one. I think they’re kind of dashing. Here’s your shirt, May.”
“You keep it,” I told it. The last thing I wanted was a shirt that had become intimately acquainted with Jim’s junk. “I’ll text Aisling and let her know what’s going on.”
“My apologies,” Mabel told Jim, and gave it a quick pat. “You are indeed a good-looking Newfoundland. I just also think you’re handsome in human form.”
“Dude,” Jim said with a little wiggle of its ears. “I like you and all, but I have a girlfriend. She’s a Welsh corgi, and she’s old and cranky and has the most adorable ears. Aisling and Amelie, Cecile’s mom, are working on the magisters’ union to get someone to make her immortal, because I can’t even with the thought of not having my sweet little fuzzy butt with me forever. So, thanks, but I’m taken.”
“Oh goddess, I wasn’t ... I’m not ... I don’t date demons ... argh!” Mabel was evidently one of those people who blush easily, because she turned bright red as she stammered out an explanation. “I’m not looking for a man—or dog—so it’s not a problem.”
“I’ve always had a way with the ladies,” Jim informed me in a confidential tone.
“Really?” I asked, then, thinking about its human form, had to concede. “I can see that. Mabel’s right in that you are nice-looking when you’re human.”
“Yeah, but it’s all so much trouble,” it answered, then turned when Parisi emerged from the cottage. She’d changed into what I thought of as Lord of the Rings–wear with leggings, boots, a leather doublet, and a knee-length cloak. Across her back was slung a burlap knapsack to which two swords had been strapped. She also had a bow, a couple of hunting knives tucked into her boots, a small axe attached to one hip, and, on the other, something that looked very much like a Taser.
“Is that ...” I exchanged glances with Gabriel. “Is that what I think it is?”
“What is what?” Parisi looked down at herself before unclipping the Taser. “My Zapper3000? It’s the very latest model. A salesman brought some to demonstrate for all the denizens of the Beyond, and I felt I needed one. I haven’t had a chance to use it yet, since Don Diego was too cowardly to let me demonstrate its functions on him, but I look forward to having the opportunity to use it. Perhaps in the Akasha someone will cause us grief and I’ll see if it was worth the money or not.”
“They have money in the Beyond,” I murmured to Gabriel.
“They have Tasers in the Beyond. I find that much more worrying,” he answered at the same volume.
“Right. We need to get moving. Parisi, if you would please make the formal request for me to guide you to your next destination, we can get moving, and I can get back to my company before they fire me.” Mabel held the pendant out toward Parisi. “If you would just place your hand on the moonstone while you make your request, that operates as a contract between us.”
Parisi put her hand over the pendant without hesitation. “I, Parisi of Madurai, Defender of the Blood, and champion of the unheard, do hereby request that you take me to the place where I am needed.”
Mabel smiled, and after she sketched a couple of symbols in the air, the pair of them lit up like several spotlights shone on them; then the light seemed to consume them before dissolving into nothing.
“That is our cue to get home,” Gabriel told me, giving me a look that warned he considered our corporeal separation as ample cause for him to pleasure me to the tips of my toes once we were reunited physically. “Do you need anything?”
“Jim?” I asked, giving it the chance to speak privately.
“I mean, I’d like it if my mom remembered me, but at least I know it’s this place and not me, personally,” it answered. “Assuming she gets her memory back, I’m good.”
“We’ll head back to the portal shop,” I told Gabriel, giving Jim another quick pat on the head.
“I’ll meet you in London,” he said before sending me another simmering look as he, too, faded to nothing.
An hour and a half later, Aisling entered her sitting room, where Gabriel and I had been indulging in some pretty steamy smooching.
“Well, we got her set—oh, lord! Sorry! I didn’t know you guys were going at it,” Aisling said, spinning around as she entered the room. Jim, who was behind her, snickered and pushed past her into the room.
“Wow, don’t think I’ve ever seen Gabriel with his hand down May’s shirt. Nice bra, by the way.”
I tucked my breasts back into my shirt at the same time Gabriel, with a brief grimace, crossed his legs. We both glared at the demon. “We were separated,” I told it. “You’ve lived with Aisling and Drake long enough to understand how dragons get when they’re separated.”
“Yeah, but you were away for just a couple of hours,” Jim answered, and plopped down next to Aisling when she decided we’d had enough chance to make ourselves decent, and took a seat on an adjacent sofa. “Like, even Ash and Drake can keep their hands off each other when Drake comes back from one of his business trips.”
“That’s only because we have children, and Drake is convinced that every time we are parted, the children will forget him. So when he returns, he immediately sees them to reassure himself before he tackles our time apart,” Aisling said with heightened color. “What I was saying is that Parisi is established in our best spare room. I feel a little overwhelmed with the idea of having a former Sovereign as a guest, but she seems genuinely interested in helping.”
“She doesn’t know me, though,” Jim said, and flopped onto the ground. “My own mom doesn’t even remember she had me.”
Aisling gave Jim a hug. “I know it hurts, but from what you guys were saying, there’s a good chance that she’ll get her memory back the longer we can keep her out of the Beyond. So I guess we’re good to go with the next step.”
“Which is what?” I asked, digging a pen out of my pocket with which to make notes. “I don’t think we’ve really addressed getting everyone into the Thirteenth Hour. Can one visit it? Or is it truly like a prison?”
