Page 21 of Midnight in the Garden of Okay and Meh
He explained the purpose of the stones that led to an opening in the ceiling. “It keeps most of the smoke out of the house. The wind tends to drive the smoke inside if it is blowing outside, but for the most part, this works well.”
“Hmm,” I said, peering around it to take mental notes.
“Parisi?”
“Yes?” I answered, narrowing my eyes as I peered up and inside the odd structure. I could see a bit of pale sky through the opening.
“Do you want to engage in bedsport?”
“Yes,” I said, before wiping the soot from the stones onto a scrap of linen poking out from a basket of wood. “But I’m not going to, because I’m the Sovereign, and you’re ... do you have an official title like Sovereign?”
“I’m just Desislav, bearer of the blood moon, and first prince of Abaddon. I wish to strip you naked and touch you the way you touched me while you thought I was insensible.”
Heat rose on my cheeks. “I had to tend you! You were near death, despite the fact that you claim it’s hard to kill you.”
“Unfortunately, you are correct,” he said, sitting down on a raised pallet covered in furs. His lips twisted as he added, “That will teach me for believing that I am immune to being lost in a blizzard. Will you join me in bed?”
“Yes, but just to sit and talk,” I said, and sat beside him.
“You fear you won’t be able to leave me should we indulge in lovemaking?” he asked with a smile that was full of cockiness.
“Don’t be ridiculous.” I dismissed the very idea. “More that Mags is likely to have followed us, and if we dally in here, she’ll simply burst in at what is sure to be an inconvenient moment. What will you do now?”
His expression, which had been playful, turned serious. “Return to my work at establishing more entrances to Abaddon. It is time for growth, and I must have the pieces in place before that can happen. If I return here at a later time, will you lay with me?”
“Perhaps,” I said, putting my hand on his thigh. “It depends on how you answer the next question.”
His eyebrows rose as he waited for me to ask it.
“You could be anything you wanted, and you choose to lead an organization bent on causing chaos and strife in the world. Why don’t you see the power of aiding instead of obstructing?”
“And how much of your aid would be truly appreciated if people like me didn’t exist?” he asked, leaning in to kiss me. “We bring balance to the world, little warrior. Without Abaddon bringing chaos to the world, there would be no need for order.”
“But the mortals,” I said, my hands on his chest to keep his kiss from landing. “You don’t care at all about them.”
“I care, but I also know that being bound without hope is intolerable. Between the two of us, we provide both mortal and immortal worlds with choices.”
“In an odd, convoluted way, I understand that, but at the same time, the people you harm make my soul weep,” I said slowly, wondering why I was so desperate to make him understand my point of view. “What about the jealous mortal who engages you to harm his neighbor’s cattle? How do you justify harming an innocent person? You haven’t given him a choice at all, merely given preference to the jealous neighbor.”
He was silent for a short time, absently taking my hand and stroking the tips of my fingers that poked out of the linen covering them. “You would put the blame for the actions of this person on me, when it was his choice to do so. I am not the agency for evil, Parisi, much though your woman Mags would argue the point. I merely offer choices.”
“Why?” I asked again, looking in his pale gray eyes and wondering if I was mistaken in the sincerity and thoughtfulness I saw within.
“Because I know what it’s like to have control over your life taken away,” he said abruptly, and stood to stack more wood on the fire. “And I will not suffer that for anyone. Bedsport or not? If it’s the latter, then I must set out and try to find my demons. They went to the north and west, and were also likely caught in the storm.”
“No bedsport now,” I said, leaning in with both hands on his leg so I could kiss him the way I’d wanted to ever since I’d uncovered him in the bank of snow. “Nor can there ever be any. It would be wrong on far too many levels.”
He smiled under my kiss, his passion warming me despite the knowledge that what my heart wanted was completely impossible.
“Travel safely,” I told him as I tore myself away from him, pausing at the doorway. “Stay warm and fare well, for we shall never meet again except on the battlefield.”
“I will be back to the area at the next solstice,” he called after me.
“I can never be with you again,” I said with a righteous sniff that Mags would have loved, then turned back to see him standing in the doorway, one eyebrow cocked.
“See you then,” he said with a small smile and admiring look that warmed me from my crown down to my frozen toes.
SIX
