Page 8 of Becoming Effrijim
“Of course I’m considering it. We’re the Sovereign. It is our sworn duty to aid, assist, and abet denizens of the Otherworld, and as Effrijim has been removed from Abaddon, he falls under that umbrella.”
“And the fact that you’ve been itching for a reason to dip your toes into Abaddon waters has nothing to do with your sudden willingness to help a stranger, does it?” Terrin asked, once again piercing straight through to the heart of my soul.
I gave him my best Carrie Fay smile.
The one with all the teeth.
“Sugar, I’ve said it before, and I’ll say it again: We could bring Abaddon to the modern age and peak efficiency if they’d just name me as premiere prince. I have a comprehensive, forty-five-day plan to take that place from downright medieval to prosperous and thriving.”
“The last thing that I want to see is a thriving, efficient Abaddon,” Terrin said in the same warning tone he’d used earlier. “The very thought of it scares the peawadding out of me.”
“What, exactly, is a peawadding?” I couldn’t help but ask. “Is it something naughty? Risqué? Do I want one?”
He sighed. “What are you going to do about the demon?”
“Help him, of course.” I wiggled my shoulders. “He used to be a sprite, after all.”
Terrin murmured something about knowing better than to try to stop me when I had my heart set on an action. I just blew him a kiss and trotted off to attend to a little pressing business.
I had a feeling I was going to enjoy what was coming.
23 June
“You do know that’s full of fat and sugars and preservatives that are not healthy.” I nodded to the ice cream cone I held at arm’s length, careful to keep out of the splash zone.
“Yeah, but a demon’s gotta eat, and since that ice cream dude is the only one open in the park, I’ll take my chances with a little delicious, silky smooth, nearly orgasmic berries and cream. Can you tip it a little away from me so I can get a good lick ... perfect.”
“What is it—other than unhealthy carbohydrates—you want from me?” I asked, more than a little amused by the avidity with which the demon ate the ice cream. He appeared in the form of a Great Dane dog, evidently a canine being his preferred form.
He delicately plucked the remaining cone from my fingers, crunched loudly for a minute, then sat down and licked his lips a few times to catch any stray crumbs or ice cream. “I want Ariton to go away. Destroyed would be preferable, but I’d settle for banished to the Akasha where he can’t ever get out to squash innocent demons. You can do that, right? Banish demon lords?”
I drew out an antiseptic wipe and dabbed at my fingers. Carrie Fay had many things to say about the state of one’s manicure, and none of them involved either melted ice cream or dog slobber. “Given the correct tools, yes.”
“Tools?” Effrijim sucked a tooth. “What sort of tools? Like power tools? You going to table saw Ariton’s head off? I want to watch if you do.”
“Gruesome,” I said, smiling. “I approve of this attitude. The tools I’m thinking of are not available ... yet. But I can see where they might be, given the right set of circumstances.”
“So you’ll do it?” Effrijim asked, his ears pricking up.
“I shouldn’t,” I said hesitantly, wondering how I was going to spin the plan that was slowly coming to mind.
“Yeah, but when have you let that stop you?”
I ceased musing and cocked an eyebrow.
The demon gave a doggy cough and managed to arrange his expression into one of contrite regret. “That is, what couldn’t you do if you put your impressive and limitless mind to it?”
“Nice save,” I said with a nod. “Very well. I am inclined to help you because, for one, I am the bearer of the Chalice of Parisi. I assume you know it well.”
Effrijim wrinkled his muzzle. “My mom’s favorite cup? Yeah, I know it. I take it you looked up the incidents in my past?”
“And a colorful three volumes they were, yes,” I answered, wondering what it would take to get Terrin to let me go on vacation for a year or two. “But then, I’d expect the child of the Sovereign and one of the dark lords who founded Abaddon would be a bit quirky. However, that is only part of the reason I’ve decided to give you aid. According to my predecessors, you have a role to play in events important to the Otherworld.”
“I do?” Effrijim squawked, then cleared his throat and spoke in a more natural tone. “I mean, yeah, of course I’m all up in important stuff and things, but hey, you want to fill me in on just what I’m going to be doing? Because Hilders never came right out with whatever it is, and why I had to leave the Court when I did.”
“I have no idea,” I said, plucking a stray hair from my sleeve. I’d decided to wear my favorite bright red power suit to the meeting, since it always made me feel especially wicked, and what better emotion was there when dealing with demons? “Many of the records from that time burned in a mysterious fire. What remains speaks of many, many discussions about behavior.”
Effrijim made what I can only describe as a moue. “Yeah, about that ... Hildie really had a thing for everyone following the rules to the letter, and I’m not a ‘rules to the letter’ sort of guy. I’m more of a free spirit. Not beholden to anyone. A loner who doesn’t need anyone—except when it comes to dealing with demon lords—and who’s untouched by drama.”
