Page 4 of Becoming Effrijim
“There is nothing sweet about Abaddon. Oh, Jim. Are you sure? Are you really sure? This is a life of indenturedom and servitude, neither of which you’ve embraced.” She held my head in both her hands, her fingers rubbing the always-itchy spot behind my now-greyhound ears. I gave her a quick lick on the cheek before cocking an eyebrow at her doubt. “I would not for the world want you unhappy. You are dearer to me than even the sun in the heavens.”
“Love you, too, sweeting. And you know me better than anyone—I’m not the type to cause trouble or draw attention. I’ll be fine, although I appreciate your concern. I swear I won’t tell anyone about my parents. Ever. Besides, I’ll have you to guide me if I have questions, right? Let’s get to the kitchen before they send that roast ox up to Amaymon. I hope they have crackly bits. I love the crackly bits! Maybe they have more than one ox going. I could eat a leviathan and still have room left over for some bread pudding.”
That’s how it started. One minute I was a hungry and footsore former sprite, and the next I was a demon bound to Amaymon, and part of a legion responsible for domestic stuff. I had a feeling Camio had somehow worked my position into that particular legion, since it was one that seldom ran into any of the top demons, let alone Amaymon himself.
DAY 364,702
18 June 2000
“You know what to do?”
“Yes, of course I know what to do," Ariton, the fourth prince of Abaddon—and Camio’s boss—almost snarled at his brother. “It is my plan, after all. Have you secured the leviathan?”
Amaymon, who was sitting on his black crystal throne with his fingers steepled, and fingertips lightly resting on his lower lip (he’d seen that in a movie a few years ago, and it became his main go-to gesture when trying to intimidate people), gave his brother a look that could have curdled fresh milk. “No, I thought I would let it run amok in my halls. Of course it’s secured. Where did you put it?”
The last question was asked of me. Camio and I lurked in the background, as was proper for demons. But when Amaymon’s attention turned to me, I moseyed forward, one part of my brain distracted by my red legs. I’d been in the form of a pharaoh hound for only a few hours and was still getting used to it. “Yes, your unholy misery. I tucked it away in your oratory, since he said he was bored and wanted something to do.”
Amaymon’s gaze shifted to me, the act almost knocking me backward with the force of his power. Sharp stabs of pain immediately followed. “A normal demon would place a behemoth in the oubliette.”
I ignored the pain that was still lashing me, and smiled, hoping it looked nice on this new, narrower face. “Yeah, but you know how leviathans can be when they get bored; they go deep into revenge pooping, and that’s nothing anyone needs to see. Or clean up. Especially clean up. That’s why I popped Barry into your oratory so he can watch YouTube.”
“Barry?” Amaymon looked more annoyed than a moment ago. “YouTube?”
“Well, I think he’s actually looking at some porn site, but I figured it sounds better if I say YouTube,” I explained. Behind me, I could hear Camio sucking in her breath like she wanted to tell me off, but couldn’t because our bosses were right there. “So, yeah, Barry’s tucked away, ready for you to unleash him on Bael.”
“Silence!” Amaymon bellowed, turning to Camio. “You, this demon is your responsibility. If anything falls afoul of my plan—”
“Our plan,” Ariton interrupted, his upper lip doing the same scorn thing that his brother’s always did when he looked at me.
“I thought of the leviathan,” Amaymon snapped, his gaze at last off me. I took a deep breath, relishing the ability to breathe again.
“Actually, I suggested—” Before I could finish, Camio grabbed my tail, giving it a hard pinch. “Ow!”
“That is a minor point of the plan,” Ariton said, waving away the idea. “I made the important decisions. After all, I was the one who thought of using the party.”
I was going to point out that I had thought of a way for Amaymon and his brother to topple Bael from his position of power as premiere prince of Abaddon, but Camio grabbed me by a bit of frayed rope that served as a collar and hauled me backward to the doors. The ballroom—where Amaymon had his throne—was empty of everyone but the four of us. Neither demon lord noticed us, because they were too busy arguing over which of them had ownership of the plot to off Bael.
“Jim!” Camio said on a gasping breath once the ballroom doors closed behind us. “You will be the death of me! Of us both! After a thousand years of being in Amaymon’s service—”
“Nine ninety-seven, actually,” I corrected her. “I’m thinking of having one of those giant cakes with people hiding inside for the big thousand-year party.”
“After all that time of being in service, you still haven’t learned how to speak properly.” She sank down onto one of the chairs that lined the hall, her shoulders slumping. “There are days when I regret ever introducing you to Lord Amaymon.”
“Eh,” I said, sitting carefully next to her (wasn’t sure how this new body’s package would do with such an action, since several of my previous dog forms made sitting problematic). I nudged her leg. “You loves me, though, right?”
“Of course,” she said, patting me on the head. I turned a bit so her hand would hit the ever-itchy spot behind my ears. She scratched while my toes clenched in pleasure. “I have always been, and always will be, your friend, Jim. But you simply must learn some humility, or else things could go bad for you.”
“Amaymon is all talk and no stabby-stab,” I said after quickly looking around to make sure no one could overhear us. “I have his number, don’t worry.”
“Just be careful, that’s all I’m saying,” she said, giving me another pat before she got to her feet, obviously waiting for her demon lord to finish up his bitchfest with Amaymon. “I don’t think I could be easy in my mind if Lord Amaymon destroyed you. Not that you don’t tempt me to smite you at least once a month, but that’s an entirely different subject.”
“You’re a demon first class, not a wrathie yet, chicky,” I reminded her, and was going in for a quick rub of my head on her leg, but just then the doors to the ballroom were flung open with enough force to send splinters flying through the air.
Camio snapped to attention and immediately bowed as her boss stormed past her, trailing oaths. She slid me a fast glance out of the side of her eyes, obviously a warning. I mouthed, “Love you, too!” to her, since I knew she’d be seriously pissed if I said that in the hearing of her lord. The widening of her eyes was her only response, but I was happy that even when she was so worried about me, I could prove to her that all was well.
A couple of days later, things went pear-shaped.
ME
