Page 79 of Imperfections Forbidden
I look down at the table and sit back down my hands folded across my stomach.“If you’re going to throw more insults at me and make me feel worse than I already do, I’m leaving.”
“I know what I’m talking about when I tell you he doesn’t love you.A man like that won’t love you.”
“Yet you believed he could love Kate.”
I look at her and let out a breath.“I forgot you’re the expert at knowing when a man does or doesn’t love you.”She tips her head at me with a cool look.
“Don’t judge me, little girl.You don’t know the position I was in.I was young, home alone all the time with a little boy.Your father was always working, a lot.I didn’t understand a lot back then, much like you.I felt neglected, and here was this man showering me with attention, telling me what I wanted to hear, and I had no one telling me what I needed to hear.If I did have someone to tell me what I couldn’t see, they would have told me this man didn’t love me.You are one in a long line of many.I know now that I was too.”
“Why did you need anyone to tell you that, why couldn’t you see on your own?”
“The same reason you can’t.I was young; when you’re young, you’re easily fooled when you’re vulnerable.Back then I was blinded by his charm and beauty.He made me feel wanted.Every time we were together, I felt alive.Here’s this man that can have his pick of women and he’s choosing me.A girl who came from nothing, a lonely housewife.Fool that I was, that’s how I saw it.Thank God your father had mercy on me and forgave me.Any other man would have taken away everything I had and put me out on the street.God was smiling down on me the day he put your father in my life.”
“Why did he stay with you?”
She thinks about it.Smiles to herself.“I don’t know.I never asked him.Didn’t matter, I was just grateful he took me back.”
“He must love you a great deal to forgive that.”
“I think that is one of the reasons.I also think the biggest reason is no one knew.So his pride and ego could stay intact.He didn’t have to be bombarded with outside influences and criticism.That was my saving grace.A man’s ego or pride is one of the most fragile things he has; it can’t be bought or replaced.Once you break it, it’s not easily repaired.”
“Well, you’re lucky it all worked out for you.You were forgiven by the one person who didn’t have any reason to forgive you.”The door opens and I jump to my feet, afraid it’s Kate.I’m relieved when I see it’s my father, but my relief is short-lived.When he sees me, his face changes.My mother stands and goes over to him.
“Cat and I were talking.”
“Is she still talking to her sister’s ex-fiancé?”
Wow.Cold room.I see I’m not going to be forgiven today, maybe never.“I was just leaving.Bye.”I get my bag and walk past them.My father puts his hand on my arm.I stop and look up at him hopefully, with tears in my eyes.I think he’s going to say something to me but he doesn’t.He lets my arm go and walks past me.A chill runs through me.I close my eyes, hold my head high, and keep on walking right through the door.
Happy New Year!
I needed this.Ava is jumping around in her bra, flash dancing with Matt and Chloe.It’s hysterical; there’s an hour left till the ball drops and they’re already hammered.Any minute now I expect the police to knock down the door.It’s like Times Square in here, with all the noise they’re making.Chloe is so gone she almost falls off the kitchen table, but luckily Matt catches her and breaks her fall.I run over to them with a roll of paper towel to wipe up all the champagne she’s spilling and to make sure she didn’t break her neck.
“Are you okay?”
Matt is holding her in his arms like a baby with a silly grin on his face.She’s nuzzling his neck like a cat.
“She’s fine, I got her.”
“I can see that.”
He gives me a sheepish look and I smile.
“Cat, this party rocks,” Chloe slurs.She runs her hand up Matt’s face, throws her head back and kicks her spike-heeled, blue suede-booted foot up in the air.“We should do this every night.”
Matt winks at me while Chloe finishes fondling him.“Yeah, Cat, we should do this every night.I’m game if you are.”
“Yeah!I’m all for it,” Ava shouts from across the room, where she’s dancing up a storm.
I’m the only voice of reason here as usual.“No.I like having a place to live.Your drunk asses are going to have us arrested before the New Year gets here for disturbing the peace.”
“I don’t care where I’m at at midnight, as long as I get to kiss your pretty lips.”
“I think you have your hands full already, Casanova.Put her in the spare bedroom and make sure she doesn’t get anything else to drink.”
I clean up the mess on the floor and table, pour myself a glass of champagne, and dance my way over to Ava.She’s singing a Pitbull song loud as ever, totally off key.
“Cat, I told you I would find a way to end the year and ring in the new with a bang.”
