Page 70 of Imperfections Forbidden
Nick doesn’t answer her.She asks again, “Is the baby okay?”
“No, the baby’s gone.There was nothing they could do to save him.”
She shakes her head violently in denial.
“Kate—”
“No!You’re lying!”she screams.
“Kate, listen to me,” he says calmly.
“I’m not listening to anything, you…you…you’re a liar!”She tries to get up but he holds her down.
“Kate, there was nothing they could do.”
She’s crying and shaking her head wildly at him covering her ears.“I don’t want to hear this.You didn’t want this baby, you’re lying.”
She drops her hands, pushing and struggling to get free from him to get up.He has a firm hold on her so she can’t get up and hurt herself by yanking the machines and IV out of her arm.
“Get away from me!”she shrieks.
My mother looks at her with horror in her eyes, looking at Kate helplessly when Kate looks to her for confirmation Nick’s lying.“Mom, he’s lying, he’s lying,” she says hysterically.My mother shakes her head no.
Kate erupts in a fit of sobs that rocks her body, making her collapse in Nick’s arms, and a scream full of pain and anguish fills the room and hallways.My father and brothers come racing out of the room across the hall.
“Get the hell away from me, both of you.Get out!Get out!”Kate yells at Nick and my mother.
She sees me and turns the full blast of her anger my way.“You!You!You didn’t want me to have this baby.I hate you.This is your fault.”
She tries to get free of Nick’s hands to come toward me.She’s fighting him with all the strength she has, beating and pounding on his chest.He’s taking every blow, his chest heaving up and down, the muscles in his arms bulging against his shirt, trying to restrain her without hurting her.
We stand in the door, watching helplessly as she sinks down against Nick’s arm, crying hysterically.The doctor and nurse rush into the room.Nick shakes his head no.I watch as he holds her tight against his chest, sobbing and shaking.“No, no, no, no, no.”He strokes her hair gently like a child who’s lost the most important thing to them in the world.
My mother goes to my father, tears streaming down her face.I’m in total shock.The tears are coming down my face hard and fast, with one hand over my mouth the other around my neck keeping the bile in my throat from rising up and spewing out.I shut my eyes tight against it.My brothers watch helplessly as Nick turns to them, murmuring, “Close the door.”
The nurse and the doctor turn in the room and shut the door, locking us out.
I’m sitting alonein the waiting room across the hall from Kate’s room, my head in my hands, crying.I hear footsteps coming my way.I don’t look up; I don’t care who it is.A hand touches mine, and I know who it is.He kneels down in front of me, pulling my hands down from my face.I can’t look at him.He’s watching the tears roll down my face.Brushing my hair away with his fingers, I hear him say, “She’s going to be fine.”
“No, she’s not.I’m sorry.”I can’t look at him.My hand goes around his neck.He hugs me tight, his hands on my back, soothing me while I cry all over him.
“It’s not your fault.You didn’t do anything wrong,” he says against my ear.
My lips part, trembling, when I pull back.Tears are welling in his eyes.He gently wipes my tears away, kissing me on the lips, and my eyes close.He holds my face in his hands, his lips still on mine.
“Cat, you don’t have anything to be sorry for.I’m sorry you had to see that.”
“What the fuck are you doing?”
Everything freezes, and even my heart feels like it stops in my chest for a moment before skyrocketing.Jay is standing in the door, eyesblazingwith anger.Nick lets my face go and rises up slowly.
“My fucking sister has just lost your baby, and you’re moving on to her sister?”He strides over to where Nick and I are, stopping inches from us.I quickly stand up and stand in front of Nick, who is calm, no emotions at all on his face.Jay looks like he’s going to murder Nick.I have to stop this.How the hell am I going to stop this?They’re like fucking mountains; they’re going to kill each other, and me, if I get in between them.I hold my hands out to Jay and try to reason with him.
“Jay, it’s not what it looks like, please don’t do this here,” I beg, but he doesn’t hear me through his rage of anger.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing with him, you another one of his whores now?”he sputters out at me, disgust written all over his face.
“Don’t talk to her like that.”Nick pushes against my back to move me out of the way.I try my best not to be moved.I’m the only barrier between them ripping each other apart.
