Page 61 of Imperfections Forbidden
“Hi, Kate.Merry Christmas.”
She tilts her head to the side and sits back in the chair, legs crossed at the ankle with a “why the hell are you speaking to me” attitude.If she only knew how much I don’t want to say a word to her.I’m only over here because I have to put on a good show.
“I would get up, but I’m not feeling so good.I’m saving my energy for tonight, you know how it is being pregnant.”
“No, I don’t.”How the hell would I know?I’ve never been pregnant.
“Yeah, you wouldn’t know what being pregnant is like.The feeling you have knowing you and the person you love have created a new life together, from the love that you share.My God, it’s a beautiful thing.”
Is she for real?The only love that’s between Nick and her is the love they share for the baby.I would love nothing more than to knock her off that chair and wipe that fake-ass smile off her face.“I’m sure it is, Kate.”
“Believe me, it is.Too bad you won’t know how it feels for a long time.”
I want to tell her neither will she.
“Then again you never know, maybe you will find a man of your own tonight, a Christmas miracle.”
I see she’s going to keep playing the part of a bitch.There is no need for me to say another word to her.At least Mom was civil.
“I hope you feel better, Kate.”I don’t think it’s the baby making her feel bad; it’s her funky-ass attitude and bitterness.
“I will, especially tonight when I’m with Nick.He’s so excited about the baby.”
I’m tired of this.I can’t help myself.I lean in close to her so only she can hear.
“Then why isn’t he here with you?You don’t need to answer, we both know why.”I pull back a little to see her eyes when I say the God’s honest truth.“He wants me, not you.”
I lean back with a smile to make everyone think we’re having a nice conversation.Her smirk is gone, and her nostrils are slightly flaring.Other than that, you wouldn’t know how much she wants to spit in my face.
Chris steps in front of me, seeing what’s going to happen.“Hey, birthday girl.”
I look up and he gives me a hug and moves me over to the other side of the room.
“It’s Christmas morning, can’t we all get along?”
“You should ask your sister, she’s acting like a real bit—”
“Big sister.You’re going to draw unwanted attention if you don’t calm down.”
“I am calm!”I whisper angrily.
“It’s Christmas Day, your favorite time of the year.Forget about your issues with Kate.It’s your special day.You’re with people who love you, try to enjoy it a little.”
I wish I could.I thought I would be waking up with Nick next to me, not alone by myself for yet another year.Being with Nick opened my eyes; before we were together I didn’t mind waking up alone in my bed, now I do.“I’ll try.”
I sit down next to him and watch Sasha rip open her gifts and everyone else’s.She’s like a little Tasmanian devil, there is no stopping her.The rest of the morning is uneventful.Kate and I stay far away from each other.If she looks in one direction, I look in the other.But we play along with everyone else like we are one big happy family.When my father tells a joke he thinks is funny, we laugh and smile at each other.A few times I see her looking at me like she wants to stomp me into the floor.I don’t care as long as she doesn’t say another word to me.
Today wasn’t as bad as I thought it would be.The only unpleasant part of the day was Kate being what I now consider her true self.We have never had a real serious argument before.I guess that’s because I didn’t stand in the way of her getting what she wanted—I wasn’t a threat.Kate usually got what she wanted.I can’t remember a time she wanted something and she didn’t get it.Whether it be a brand new car on her sixteenth birthday or a twenty-first birthday party that rivaled a wedding; if she wanted it, she wouldn’t stop till she got it.That was one thing I actually admired about her.If she was told no, she found a way to change no to yes.One thing that I do know for sure is, what is hers is hers, and she does not like sharing, never did.She likes things a certain way.
I stand by the window, looking out, hoping it will snow.I don’t think it will.I was hoping for a white Christmas.I might get it—the weather man did say there was a good chance it was going to snow.I should at least get something I want today.I was hoping Nick would call me today.I know I’m the one who told him not to call me, only one text a day, but I miss him.Today is a day to be with the one you love, making memories to share together for years to come.He hasn’t sent me a text in two days.Maybe he’s changed his mind.I mean, how long can a man like Nick be by himself?
It’s a terrible thing when you know there is another person out there in the world meant for you, and you’re surrounded by a room full of people all alone.A white Christmas is not as good as getting the man I’ve wanted my entire life, waking up with his arms around me, but it’s better than nothing.
“Hey, baby girl.”
“Hey, Dad.”I look at my dad standing beside me and try to shake off the melancholy feelings taking over.I wrap my arms around his waist for warmth.It’s not cold in here I just need to feel it.
“Why are you over here by yourself?”
