Page 54 of Imperfections Forbidden
Jay holds his glass up.“I’m ecstatic to hear the good news.Sasha will finally have a cousin to play with.Cat, they’re going to keep you busy.You had so much fun with Sasha, double the pleasure, double the fun; you’re going to be a great aunt and babysitter.”He gleefully smiles.“I mean, your excellent babysitting services are going to be extended to Nick and Kate, right?”
Talk about being put on the spot.Over Kate’s dead body would she agree to me watching her child.Ever.“Absolutely.”I smile as best I can.At least one good thing came out of this night—Jay will stop looking at me like he thinks I’m hiding something.He seems to be the happiest out of everyone to hear this delightful news.
Chris stands up and raises his glass high in the air.“To Nick and Kate and the new baby.”
“Don’t forget,” Vanessa says.“Health, strength, and happiness.”Everyone at the table stands.Glasses are raised high in the air.One big happy family.“Cheers.”Glasses clink together around the table.“Hear hear, to the new baby.”
I finish my wine in one gulp and sit back down.Why does it seem they are always overjoyed by Kate’s news and I am in my own personal hell whenever she opens her mouth?I wait a few minutes before I excuse myself from the table and go to the bathroom.
I lean over the sink,close my eyes and splash water on my face.My stomach’s twisting into knots.Taking a hand towel, I wipe my face, wiping away my makeup.It’s time for me to leave.I’ve been tortured enough tonight.I can’t take another second of this.I sink down on the toilet seat with my face in my hand and have a little cry.Hell, I’ve been strong enough tonight.
Nick
I know she’s hurting.Iwant to go to her and wrap her in my arms.I watch her make a toast and pretend to be happy and smile.She doesn’t deserve this.She should be the woman sitting next to me having my child.She puts on a good act for her family, but I can see she’s hurt.If you look at her closely, you can see the sadness in her.Under the little makeup she wears you can see the dark circles under her eyes.They can’t see but I can.Her sadness is my heartache.
She excuses herself from the table.When she doesn’t come back after ten minutes, I excuse myself to make a phone call and head in the direction she went.
I stop in front of the bathroom door.I knock but I don’t say anything.If I answer her, she won’t open the door.I knock again and wait till she opens the door to see who it is.I can tell she’s been crying.
“Go away, Nick, I can’t do this.My family is here.”
She tries to close the door, but I hold it open with my hand.
“Nick, let go!”she whispers.
“I’m not going anywhere.Move away from the door and let me in, Cat.”Her eyes narrow to slits, and she looks like she wants to hit me.I would let her hit me a thousand times—I deserve it.“If you don’t let me in, someone is going to see us.”She moves back, and I walk in and close the door behind me.
“What do you want, Nick?I said all I needed to say the last time we talked.”
“I know it’s hard for you—”
“What’shard for meis seeing you with your hands on my sister while you bond over your baby.A baby you’re having with her.”
“I know.”
“No, I don’t think you do!You don’t know what it’s like standing there, congratulating you and wishing you well, not meaning a single word of what I said, because I wish I was in my sister’s shoes.I wish I was the woman sitting next to you having your baby.That should be me out there that my family is happy and overjoyed for.Not her.I wish they could see how unhappy I am.They can’t, I have to put on a show for them.Inside I am crumbling.I’m trying to keep it together but you are not helping me.”
She covers her face with her hands and turns her back to me.I stand behind her, my body almost touching hers.I want to touch her so badly it hurts me not to.I want to wipe away all the hurt and the pain I’ve caused her.
“Cat, she’s pregnant.I can’t undo what’s already done.We are going to have a baby, but we are not together.I don’t love her; I love you.I want to be with you.I want you to be the woman in my life who stands by my side.I want to be the man in your life to love you and make love to you.It could be the way it was that weekend.Do you know what it’s like for me not being able to see you, touch you?”
She turns around with tears in hers eyes, lips trembling.If her heart is crumbling, my heart is breaking.It seems like all I’ve done since she’s come back is bring tears to her eyes.
“It’s hard not having something…” She stops, pressing her lips together.“What I had with you in one weekend…when you’ve experienced it, it’s not easily forgotten.It’s like a tingle creeping up your skin, coming together in the center of your whole being, caged in until it wants to burst out.Something uncontrollable that moves you and rocks you uncontrollably.At the most unexpected times, I think about it, I feel it.”
That’s it exactly.She’s so close to me I wouldn’t have to move a half an inch to lean down and kiss her.She’s trapped against the wall and me, nowhere for her to go.Nowhere for her to run.I brush a strand of hair out of her face with my hand grazing the soft skin on her cheek.Her lips tremble, and her eyes close when I slide the palm of my hand across her face.She tries to pull back, but she can’t; her back is against the wall.
“Don’t touch me,” she breathes.
I watch the pulse at her neck beat.Pressing my body against her, I kiss her on the forehead, my hand moving down to the side of her neck, kissing her there, trailing the tip of my tongue to her ear.“You want me to touch you, Cat.”I run my hand over her breast.Her breathing speeds up, and I watch the rise and fall of her chest straining against the top of her dress.“Your lips lie, but your body is telling me the truth,” I say, nuzzling the side of her neck with my mouth open.My tongue swirls the spot I know drives her crazy.She gives me a soft moan, and I know she wants me.
“Stop.I don’t have the strength…please!”she says frantically against my hair.
My hand on her waist, I rub my body against her, so she knows how much I want her.I don’t care who’s out there.“You don’t want me to stop.You like when I’m in you.You like it when I scream your name and you come undone all around me.Like dynamite, every time we come together, we explode.”
I cover her mouth with mine, and it’s like home.Our eyes close, and her arms wind around my neck.It’s been so long since I’ve kissed her, and I’m instantly hard as a rock.I forgot how small she is when I grind my arousal into her stomach.My hands go under her dress, palming her perfect round ass.I run my tongue under the side of her jaw.
I listen to her whimper, straining to say my name like I knew she would.“Nick.”
