Page 47 of Imperfections Forbidden
“Kate, I’m warning you.”If I could reach through this phone…
“Think about it, our kids would be cousins and siblings.That may work if you’re a Mormon in a polygamist sect in Utah or wherever, but this is New York and you’re an Alexander, how would that look?”
“I don’t know but I’m sure you’re going to tell me.”
“It would make Cat look like a total home-wrecking slut.There are already rumors of us being engaged and possibly pregnant.”
“You don’t need to remind me.Are you the reason why those rumors are floating around?”
“No, and it doesn’t matter anyway, because when I start showing and people find out you’re this child’s father, people are going to make up their own stories and think what they want.Even you can’t stop that.”
She’s right; this is the stuff tabloid news is made up from.It makes money, sells papers and magazines, ruins reputations and lives.I won’t look too bad, because as bad as it sounds, I’m a man.Kate will be the poor unsuspecting pregnant fiancée; they will have sympathy for her, which she doesn’t deserve.Cat will be perceived as the jealous, slutty sister who slept with her sister’s fiancé.”Which is not true.
“I see you’re thinking about it.What are you going to do, take her out in front of your friends and colleagues while I’m at home with your baby in my belly?Who’s going to accept her?She’s going to be like a leper.She’s going to be perceived as a threat to any woman with a man.They’re going to look at her like she’s a dirty mattress.”
“You know what, Kate, if there is an appointment I need to know about or anything whatsoever that has to do with the baby, give me a call, other than that, don’t call me.”
“Do you think I like saying these things?I’m not saying these things to be hurtful to Cat.”
“Yes, you are.You would love to march her around with a scarlet A emblazoned across her chest for all to see, because you think she has wronged you.Truth be told, it’s probably the other way around.You’ve probably wronged her many times, and she’s never noticed or realized.She wouldn’t want to think her sister would intentionally hurt her.”
I don’t know who she thinks she’s fooling.Her voice was nice and bubbly when she called, then she realized I wasn’t going to change my mind after the test results, and her true nature started to come out.I can’t believe I slept with her.I rub my eyes.I can’t believe I got her pregnant.Let your guard down once, and this is the shit that falls on you.
“I don’t need to hear another word out of your malicious, lying lips.”I turn off my phone and throw it on my desk.I’m angry she’s pretending she cares about Cat’s reputation.Most of all I’m angry because every word she said is the truth.
I’ve been sittingon the bar stool at the kitchen counter for hours now, trying to work up the courage to call her.I’m on my second beer.I run both my hands through my hair, but I still haven’t figured out what to say to her.Everywhere I look I see her in here.I smile when I see the Christmas tree we decorated together, all the decorations in my living room, and the frosting around the window.I love to see her smile and her beautiful brown eyes light up.I don’t want to be the one to take that joy away.
I take a swig of my beer and put the bottle back down, and watch my phone on the counter like it can give me the answers I’m looking for.How do I break the heart of the person that I love most?Where do I begin?How do I start?
The choice is taken from me when the phone rings—without looking at it, I know it’s her.I pick it up like it’s a ten pound bag of bricks weighing down my hand, getting heavier and heavier the closer it gets to my ear.I swipe my thumb across the screen, clear my throat and run my hand over my mouth and the rough stubble across my face.I don’t say anything.I close my eyes and pray she will stay with me.
“Hello, Nick?”
I clear my throat.“I’m here.”
“Are you okay?You sound funny.”
“I’m fine.I was sitting here trying to sort some things out.How was your day?”
“It was good.I got a call today from Mrs.Smith; she’s going on maternity leave this Friday.Starting Monday, I’ll be taking over her kindergarten class full time, by myself.”
“That’s great, I’m happy for you.”She sounds happy.I hate to be the one to take away her happiness, but I have to tell her.
“I’m happy for me too; I thought I would never find a job.I need something to do.Working with kids will keep me busy and entertained.”
“I’m really happy for you.”
“I know…Are you sure you’re fine, you sound…different?”
I get off the bar stool, grab my beer off the counter and go into the living room.“I have something to tell you.”
“What?”
I blow out a breath and stand up straight in front of the couch.I need to say this.I close my eyes, pressure building in my chest.
“What is it, Nick?Just tell me.”
This is harder.“I got a call from the lab today, the paternity test came back.”I wait to see what she’s going to say, she doesn’t say a thing.I feel her tension through the phone.“The baby is mine.”
