Page 38 of Imperfections Forbidden
“It’s not the truth.”
“To who?”I throw my hands in the air and cross them under my breasts.“It’s the truth to my family—the only people that really matter in this whole thing.”
“I’m going to try and do damage control on this.All it is is a rumor that will not be denied or confirmed.”
“It will be confirmed in a matter of weeks when she starts showing.Everyone’s going to know without her saying a word.”
“Cat—”
I stand up.I don’t want to deal with this.Nick stands up at the same time.“I have to go.I have to go home and get ready to go to the school.I told Mrs.Smith I was coming in.”
“Cat”—he put his hands around my arms and pulls me closer to him— “ I’m going to call you today, and you’re going to answer your phone when I call you.”
He’s not asking me a question, he’s telling me what’s going to happen.“Fine.”
“If you don’t answer when I call, I will come to you.”
I know he will.I nod my head, and he lets me go.I go to the bedroom to get my things— only the purse I came with and my coat.He’s standing by the door waiting for me, one hand in his pant pocket, the other rubbing the back of his neck.He looks like a cologne advertisement.I look up at him, and he pulls me to him with a strong arm around my waist, his other hand still in his pocket.I have nothing to say.
“I love you.”He takes his hand out of his pocket and swings his finger back and forth between us.“This is going to work out.We are going to find a way to make it work.”
I wish that was true, but I don’t know how we can make us work together if it’s out in the open for everyone to see.I’m scared it won’t, and I’m scared of the sacrifices we might have to make to be together.He kisses me on the neck, pressing my body tight against his, on the spot he marked for everyone to see, and I push my fears aside for just a little while longer, luxuriating in his arms.
Cat
Isnuck out when Ileft three days ago, and I’m sneaking back in today like a thief.I can’t live like this; I’m going to have to find my own place by January.That means I have six weeks to find an apartment; by then I’ll be working full time at the school.
I make my way up the stairs to my room to change my clothes before I leave.I move as quickly as I can to find something to wear before anyone realizes I’m home and starts with the inevitable questions.I put on my black slacks and my lavender, mock neck sweater.Two minutes flat.I’m in such a rush I can’t find my shoes, then I remember they’re under my bed where I put them when I came in.I’m finally finished and ready to make another great escape and then there’s a knock on the door.Damn, almost made it.
I close my eyes and take a breath.No one knows where I was.This won’t take long, ’cause I’m leaving right now.That’s the best I can do for a pep talk to myself.I open the door and who do I see?The one person I’m trying my hardestnotto see.She has a smile on her face and her hands folded behind her back.
“Hi, Cat, can I come in?”She doesn’t look upset.Actually, she looks calm and relaxed.
“Sure, but I was about to leave for work.”
“This won’t take long.”
“Okay.”I awkwardly wait for her to say something.I know what I’ve been doing this weekend, and the longer she looks at me from head to toe, smiling sweetly, the guiltier I feel.I’m so uncomfortable in this silence that I start folding the clothes on my bed I took off in such a hurry.Why isn’t she saying anything?
“Kate, I’m sorry, but I really do have to go.”
“Yes, I’m sorry.I was looking at your outfit.You look nice.”
“Thank you.”
“I feel like I haven’t seen you in such a long time.I saw you more before I moved back in.”
How should I answer this?“Well, you’re so busy with work, and I’ve been busy getting ready to take over for the teacher at school.”
She walks closer to me and brushes my hair back off my shoulder.My heart leaps into my mouth when I remember the mark Nick left on my neck.Shit!I stand perfectly still and swallow.She’s smiling at me, and I’m trying to hold the smile I have.
“You look different, Cat.”
“Do I?”
“Yes, you do.You look thoroughly fucked!”
Oh my God, she knows!I feel my blood pumping through my heart with every beat.Boom, boom, boom, boom—like bass drums in my ears.I hear every single beat.She drops her hand from my hair and walks around me in a complete circle, then walks back to the door.
