Page 67 of Dr. Roz Harrington
Sam let out a short, sharp exhale, the sound closer to a bitter laugh.
“Start with why,” she snapped. “Why you pushed me away. Why you let your mother decide we weren’t worth it.”
The words cut through the air, brutal and unforgiving. Roz flinched like she’d been struck, her jaw tightening as she absorbed the blow. For a moment, Sam thought Roz would shrink back, revert to that untouchable mask she wore so well. But Roz didn’t turn away. Instead, she lifted her head and met Sam’s glare, a fire burning in her dark eyes.
“You’re right,” Roz said quietly, the words trembling with effort. “I let her decide. I let her words dig into me like they always do. I let everything I’ve fought for and thought I wanted dictate what I did next. And you were the price I paid for it.”
Sam’s arms tightened around her middle, a shield she refused to lower. She shook her head, her voice sharp and disbelieving.
“And what? You think saying that now makes it okay?” Her voice wavered, betraying a flicker of the pain beneath the anger. “I needed you, Roz. I needed you to fight for us, and you just…gave up.”
Roz’s throat bobbed as she swallowed, her composure cracking ever so slightly. But she didn’t look away.
“I didn’t give up,” she said, her voice low but resolute. “I ran.”
Sam scoffed, a hollow sound that echoed in the stillness of the firehouse lot. “That’s the same damn thing, Roz.”
“No, it’s not!” Roz’s voice rose, surprising both of them. Her hands pulled free of her pockets, gesturing sharply as the words finally spilled out, raw and unguarded. “I ran because I was scared, Sam. Scared of losing everything, my career, my family, the respect I’ve spent my entire life clawing to earn. You don’t know what it’s like to walk into a room and feel like every single eye is waiting for you to fail.”
Sam froze, her expression shifting ever so slightly. But Roz wasn’t done.
“The thought of losing you on top of everything else…” Roz paused, shaking her head as her voice softened into something almost broken. “It paralyzed me. I didn’t know how to fight for both. I didn’t think I could. So I did the only thing I know how to do when I feel like I’m drowning. I pushed you away.”
The vulnerability in her words cut through Sam’s defenses like a knife. Sam opened her mouth to respond, but nothing came out. The anger was still there, simmering beneath the surface, but Roz’s honesty hit her like a wave, knocking the wind out of her.
Roz took a step closer, tentative, like she was approaching a frightened animal. Her dark eyes softened, the rawness in them unfiltered and real.
“It was a mistake,” Roz continued, her voice trembling but steady. “The worst mistake I’ve ever made. And I know I don’t deserve another chance after the way I hurt you. But, Sam…” She took another step, close enough now that Sam could see the faint quiver of her hands. “I’m here. I’m standing in front of you. You asked me to fight for us, and I’m here. I’m fighting.”
Sam’s chest tightened painfully. Her arms loosened from their rigid fold, falling to her sides as she stared at Roz, the woman who had turned her entire world upside down. Roz had always been larger than life—imposing, untouchable, brilliant. But now, standing in front of her, she wasn’t any of those things. She was just Roz. Flawed. Terrified. Real.
“You make me feel things I’ve never felt before, Sam,” Roz said softly, her voice trembling. “And it terrifies me. You terrify me. Because I don’t know how to do this. I don’t know how to be what you deserve.”
Sam clenched her jaw, her heart pounding hard against her ribs as she fought to keep her emotions in check.
“You don’t get to say that,” she said, her voice cracking as she pointed a finger at Roz. “You don’t get to stand here now and tell me you were scared. I was scared, too, Roz. I still am. But I showed up anyway. I tried anyway. And you shut me out.”
Roz’s shoulders dropped, the weight of Sam’s words landing like a physical blow. But instead of retreating, she took another step forward, close enough now that Sam could see the glimmer of tears in her eyes.
“I know,” Roz whispered. “And I’m sorry. I’m so sorry, Sam.”
The sincerity in her voice pulled at something deep in Sam’s chest, something that hurt to touch.
Sam’s breathing was shaky, her mind a whirlwind of emotions she couldn’t control. Her anger, her hurt, her longing—it all mixed together until she couldn’t tell where one ended and the other began.
Roz’s voice broke through the storm, quiet and pleading.
“I’m here now,” she said. “I’m fighting for us. If you’ll still have me.”
The words hung between them, fragile and full of hope. Sam couldn’t look away from Roz’s face, the vulnerability etched into every line, the raw honesty in her eyes. For so long, she’d wanted Roz to show up like this. To let down her walls. To prove that what they had mattered.
And now she was. Roz was here.
Sam’s heart pounded as she searched Roz’s face, waiting for some kind of sign that this wasn’t another illusion. That she wouldn’t run again.
The silence stretched, thick and heavy, as Sam grappled with everything swirling inside her. She wanted to believe Roz. She wanted to reach out and pull her close and let the rest of the world fall away.
But she was still scared.
