Page 40 of Christmas On Call
“What if people judge you?” Doctor Brown finished. “They might. Some people will. But Asha, people are already judging you. That’s life. The question is: would you rather be judged for being authentic or for being perfect?”
The words settled over Asha like a blanket—uncomfortable at first, then oddly comforting.
“I’ve never thought about it that way,” she admitted.
“Most people don’t.” Doctor Brown smiled gently. “We spend so much energy managing other people’s perceptions that we forget we can’t actually control what they think. The only thing we can control is whether we’re living in alignment with our values and our truth.”
“And if I do this—if I file the disclosure—what if I regret it?”
“What if you don’t file it and regret that instead?” Doctor Brown countered. “Asha, you can’t live your life trying to avoid all possible regret. You can only make the choice that feels most true to who you want to be. And from everything you’ve told me today, I think you already know what that choice is.”
Asha sat with that feeling; the truth of it settled into her bones.
“Tell me; what would Max say if she were here right now?”
Asha almost laughed through her tears. “She’d tell me I’m overthinking it. That I need to stop catastrophizing and just take the leap. That love is worth the risk. She’d say hurry up because I’m not fucking waiting around any longer.”
“Do you believe her?”
The question hung in the air.
Did she believe Max? Did she believe that what they had was worth the potential cost?
“Yes,” Asha whispered. “I believe her.”
Dr. Brown smiled, and it was like sunrise. “Then I think you know what you need to do.”
By the time Asha left the office, stepping out into the bright LA afternoon, she felt lighter than she had in weeks. Maybe even a year. Not because the fear was gone—it was still there, a low hum of anxiety in her chest—but because she’d made a decision.
She pulled out her phone and opened her text messages. Her thumb hovered over Max’s name.
Then she opened a different message thread: Dr. Harrison.
I’d like to meet tomorrow morning to discuss the disclosure. Will 8 AM work?
His response came quickly:8 AM is fine. My office.
Asha took a breath, then opened a new browser tab on her phone and pulled up the hospital’s HR portal. The relationship disclosure form was there, waiting. She’d looked at it a dozen times over the past week, cursor hovering over the fields, never quite able to fill them in.
This time, she started typing.
Employee Name: Dr. Asha Patel
Department: Neonatology
Partner Name: Maxine Benson, RN
Partner Department: Neonatology
Relationship Start Date: December 25, 2024
Nature of Relationship: Romantic
Her hands trembled as she typed, but she didn’t stop. Each field filled in felt like another brick in the foundation of something real, something she was choosing instead of something being forced upon her.
She got to the e-signature field and paused.
This was it. Once she signed, there was no taking it back. The disclosure would be filed, HR would be notified, and everyone would know.
