Page 39 of Retribution
Maybe I shouldn’t tell them this, but the thought of keeping this from them too, of dealing with this alone on top of the threats that I can’t tell them about, makes me want to curl up in my dark bedroom closet and never come out.
‘He made me straddle him in the car while he told me to obey him and his rules,’ I confess. ‘If I do what he wants, he’ll let me come to campus and stuff. At least until we’re married.’
‘That’s got gonna happen!’ Blake spits. ‘I’ll kill him before it does.’
I close my eyes and turn to him, putting my forehead to his.
‘I know you’d do it,’ I say, ‘but I don’t want you to ruin your life for me. Maybe it’s best…’ I swallow hard. ‘Maybe it’s best if you guys keep your distance from me. Since I came here, your lives have gotten so much more complicated. Because of me. Maybe we shouldn’t see each other anymore.’
None of them say a word, so I keep going, putting voice to the thoughts I have in the dark, the ones I don’t want to have. They’re logical, after all. They make sense. I could give them an out here and now before things get any worse.
‘Maybe you three should forget about me. Joe and his family… They're so powerful. They could destroy you, crush you, your dreams, everything you want. I don’t want to be the reason for something like that happening to you.’
I don’t look at them. I can’t.
Shade is the first one to speak. ‘Daisy,’ he says carefully. ‘Is that…what you want?’
I let out a hard breath. It echoes through the small space. I should say yes. I should let them go. But I can’t make my lips form the words.
I chicken out and shake my head.
‘We love you. We aren’t going to abandon you.’ Shade puts a hand under my chin, forcing me to look at him. ‘I’mnot going to abandon you again. We will face whatever the Bandervilles or anyone else throws at us. We’re not going to let Joe have you. We’re going to figure this out. We’re going to find a way to save you.’
A sob of relief bubbles out of me even though I know it shouldn’t be up to them. I need a plan of my own, and it can’t be to run. That’s a temporary solution at best. I need to find a way to save myself and them, too. Joe and the rest of my enemies might treat me like I’m stupid, and they might make me doubt myself. But I’mnotstupid and it’s time I put my brain to work to find a solution.
‘Okay,’ I whisper. ‘Okay.’
He wraps me in a tight hug, and though I cling to him for a moment, I let him go quickly and step out of his arms, taking a steadying breath. No more Daisy, the damsel in distress. I need to be a warrior. Daisy the Destroyer. I like the sound of that. Fuck Joe and his horrible family. Fuck NastyNurse and fuck John. Fuck the law that’s put me in such a vulnerable position.
‘What am I going to do about English classes?’ I ask, making sure my voice is strong.
The guys look relieved and I feel both Mav and Blake’s hands on me lightly, like they’re afraid I’ll run away. But that’s not going to happen. I’m not fleeing under the cover of darkness like I’m the one who’s guilty or wrong. I’m going to fix this and claw back everything I’ve worked for. Whatever it takes. Joe is going to see who I am. I want to see fear in his eyes, deep and intense, so that I actually notice it.
‘I’ve asked one of the KIP guys in Lit to think of something to tell his professors so that you can go to their classes, and no one says anything. I assume someone will be with you, so you’ll have to go all in.’
I make a face.
‘And Envy?’ I ask, looking at Mav.
‘We start making it at Sauvage’s lab tomorrow.’
I can’t help my anger that this has been taken from me too. Envy might have started with them, but it became mine when I cracked it. I was the one who fixed it. I shake my head a little.
‘You’re upset,’ Mav murmurs.
‘A little. Making it was my job. I was good at it.’ I grit my teeth. ‘I know you can make it,’ I tell him. ‘Of course you can, but I sort of wish Ihadsaid yes in the hospital when you asked to leave. We’d be in hiding, but at least we’d be together.’
‘It wouldn’t have worked,’ Shade admits quietly. ‘It was a pipe dream at best. The only way we’re going to move forward is by destroying the Bandervilles.’
Blake nods. ‘He’s into some shady stuff. I’ll come up with something, but there’s another thing we need to talk to you about. We?—’
He breaks off as Shade’s phone buzzes. ‘Shit. Lu says the bodyguard is asking where you are and she’ll stall him if she can.’
Blake pulls me to him. ‘Listen. We don’t think you killed Larson. We’ll show you everything later, but it seems like maybe someone drugged you and that same person drugged John the night April was killed. Which means it could be the same guy who started the lab fire here, set the bomb, killed Black, and killed your dad. One person who did all of it.’
‘What?’ I ask, confused. ‘I killed Larson. I must have. That’s not possible, Blake.’
‘It is possible,’ he says adamantly. ‘Just think about it.’
