Page 28 of Say Yule Stay
“How’s it going, Murph?”
“It’s good…busy. How are things withWalker?”
I don’t like the way he says Walker’s name, like he’s implying something, but I don’t mention it either.
“Things are good. We’re having fun. I made him decorate the house a little before we had dinner with Sawyer and Hallie.”
Murphy grunts, causing my lips to curve up on one side. “What’s that guy got that I don’t have?”
“Physical proximity to Walker?”
He snorts and my smile grows wider before it falls. If I go back to Chicago, I’ll miss Walker, but if I stay here, I’ll miss my brother. Walker always says we’re codependent and he’s not wrong. Murphy has always been my favorite person on the planet.
It’s probably because he’s nothing like me—he’s outgoing and overwhelmingly joyous no matter the occasion. People gravitate toward him, me included, and when we’re apart it’s like I’m missing a limb—I can’t explain it.
Some people say they have a friend or partner who is their “person” but Murphy is mine.
“Did you hear me?” he says and I shake my head, trying to focus back on the conversation.
“No, sorry, what was that?”
“I bought a ticket home for the day after Christmas.”
I don’t want to eventhinkhow much that cost, so I nod even though he can’t see me.
“That’s great. I’ll be able to see you for almost two days before I go back to Chicago.”
“What? Why?”
“Do you remember Keller?” I start without waiting for him to respond. “He had a lead on a job for me. I spoke with them this morning and they made me an offer.”A really good offer.“I told them I needed the holiday to think about it.”
“Does Walker know?”
“Does Walker know what? This just happened and why would he care?”
My brother is unusually silent, and I press the phone harder against my ear as if that will help me make sense of what’s going on here.
“Do you want that job?”
“Well, it’s not my dream job or anything, but I need a job and the offer is incredibly generous. It’d be foolish not to take it.”
“But is it going to make you happy?”
Sighing, I lean my head back against the top of the chair and let my eyelids flutter closed. “I’m not like you, Murphy. I like accounting and I like making a difference, whatever that might be. I’m mature enough to admit thatsomethingis happening between Walker and me, but we’ve agreed that it’s temporary. My life is in Chicago, and I’d never ask him to go back. He’s happy here and I have to respect that.”
“And you’re unwilling to make a life in Starlight Bay?”
“Look, I know you want Walker and me to ride off into the sunset, but this is real life, Murphy. We want different things, and right now some of those things are in Chicago and some of them are here.”
“Lace.”
“I have to go. I’ll talk to you later.”
Pressing the button to end the call, I toss my phone onto the desk and dig the heels of my hands into my eyes.
It doesn’t help.
And right now, I’m not sure there’s anything that will.
