Page 26 of Wylder Ranch
“Anyone’s guess. Sometimes she wakes up and she’s fine. Other days, it’s like the world’s about to end.”
“And what do you do?”
“Try to feed her, and if that doesn’t work, cry,” I say. I mean it as a joke even though there’s an element of truth to it.
But Alex’s entire face drops, and his voice is almost a whisper. “You cry?”
I nod and wonder how much I should sugarcoat it. Then decide there’s no point. After telling Clementine the other day, it feels easier to admit it out loud. Plus, she could tell him herself, so lying is futile. “Yeah. Sometimes. A lot. Daily, in fact.”
His mouth drops open. “You cryevery day?”
“It’s been hard,” I reply.
He nods again, but I’m sure it’s only a reflex because there’s nothing he can really say. I pick up my hot chocolate and sip while he stares nervously at the harness with his daughter inside.
“Can I. . . I mean, would it be okay if I held her?”
I place my cup down, feeling bad that I never even asked if he’d like to, and he’s barely seen her beyond a quick peek at her when she’s strapped to me.
“Sure. Of course. I didn’t know if you’d want to,” I stammer, standing quickly enough that Everly opens her eyes.
Supporting her weight while I carefully unbuckle the harness, I wait for Alex to push back in his chair and get comfortable.
“Like this?” he asks, arranging his arms so that I can lay her in them.
“Perfect.”
I place her against one of his thick biceps, my fingers brushing against the soft cashmere of his sweater. His huge hand cups around the back of her head. Everly’s eyes are now fully open, and she’s staring up at him adoringly like the sweetest, most angelic baby and not the demon child she was at 3 a.m.
But then my gaze moves to Alex.
He’s completely mesmerized by her as he takes in every single detail of this tiny human made from half of his DNA. He watches her fist open and close, the way her little pouty mouth pops with each breath, and when she smiles at him, I swear he stops breathing. Because that was my reaction too.
Moisture pools in his eyes, and he takes a big sniff. “Sorry.”
“Hey, you’ve got nothing on me,” I reply, but I don’t think he hears me.
I excuse myself to the bathroom—to pee, brush my hair, and take a full breath without the weight of a baby strapped to my chest. Lifting my hands over my head, I stretch tall and wait for my spine to crack back into position, then bend at the waist to touch my toes, though it’s a struggle. My whole body has been stiff for too long.
When I slip back into my seat, I don’t think Alex has moved. Neither has Everly.
So I finish up the croissant I started eating before I left and watch them, observing how perfectly they fit together.
Since I discovered I was pregnant and made the decision to find Alex, I wondered what this moment would be like. Notwithstanding the initial meeting by the fountain, this is how I pictured it.
Only better.
And a tiny piece inside me heals from having spent the past few months alone. It’s worth it.
I’m content to watch them bond. Every so often, Alex looks at me and smiles, and I remember exactlyhowI ended up with Everly in the first place.
“How’s your store?” Alex breaks the silence, his voice low enough to be a whisper.
“It’s good. It’s closed right now.”
“Because you’re here?”
I shake my head and swallow a mouthful of hot chocolate. “No, I’m here because it’s closed. I kept it open during the summer, but the last month I was pregnant, it was too hard. I was super tired, and Everly wasn’t easy to carry. Fall’s always quieter anyway, but I decided I wasn’tgoing to do any of the tree harvesting this year. Therefore, no trees to sell at Christmas.”
