Page 120 of The Duke Who Saved Christmas
“Aren’t you?” I asked dryly.
“Didn’t you once tell me that if you were trying to kiss me, I’d know about it?”
“I might have said that.”
“Well, if I wastryingseduce you, you’d be well and truly seduced by now.”
I raised my eyebrows. “So, you aren’t trying to seduce me? Wow. Way to wreck a date.”
He stilled. “This was a date?”
I sipped my wine, peering over at him. “Apparently not.”
“Did you think this was a date?”
“Did younotthink this was a date?”
“Wait.” Thomas set his cup on the floor and turned, holding his hands up and looking mildly panicked. “Isthis a date?”
“I sincerely hope not, given that you don’t think so,” I replied, letting my lips pull into a small smile. “Can I ask you something?”
Hesitation crept into his eyes for the briefest of moments. “You can ask anything you’d like.”
“Why do you care so much about me?” I met his gaze and held it. “Making sure I get home safe, helping me with weddingcrises—even tonight, you saw that I didn’t want to be there and took me shopping to get my mind off it. Why? Why… does it matter so much to you when I’m having a bad time?”
He sighed slowly. “Do you really want to have this conversation?”
“Yes.”
“Why? Why here? Why now?”
“Because I’m an inherently selfish person who is desperately hoping to gain some clarity on my own feelings by making you share yours. Does that help?”
His eye twitched, then he reached over to me and brushed my hair from my eyes. “You may be selfish, but at least you’re honest.”
“I’m also a little impatient.” I sighed. “And… I don’t know. I have no interest in ambiguity. Isn’t it so much easier if we’re just honest with one another? Whatever we are, we aren’t friends. We’re somewhere between that and something uncertain. If we’re going to be in this position, I’d rather we be clear about it, to be honest.”
He dipped his chin, smiling, and let his hand come to rest on my shoulder. “Ah… Shit. Okay. Do you know that I had a serious crush on you when we were fourteen, fifteen, or so?”
I froze. “How the hell would I know that if you never told me?”
“Good question, but it’s true. I spent the summer before year ten in France, and when I came back, you just seemed like this… really shiny, untouchable person. I was already attracted to you, but our last two years of school were absolute hell for me knowing that you hated me. Even after college, I was so fucking happy to see you leave for university knowing that you didn’t want to come back and probably wouldn’t.”
Ouch.
Well, I’d asked.
“Then, you didn’t. Not much, anyway, and certainly nothing that made our paths cross. My little, albeit long-term, crush on you petered out into nothing but a memory, and we both moved on with our lives.” He toyed with a lock of my hair, gently twisting it around his finger before releasing it. “Then… You came back, and it felt like those years since we’d last seen each other properly had been nothing but days. You’re older and more professional now, more beautiful than then, but inside, you were still the same petty little teenager who’d never forgiven me for my terrible aim.”
“Thank you for noticing,” I murmured.
“A gentleman is always observant,” he concurred, smiling, then laid his hand at the back of my head, letting it settle until his fingers followed the curve of my neck. “You want to know why I care about you, but it’s simple, Sylvie. I simply do. On some level, I always have.”
I jerked my head around to look at him. “Thomas—”
“I have feelings for you. No ambiguity. No beating around the bush. No faffing around with ifs or buts or maybes. That’s what you said you wanted, so that’s what I’m giving you.” He drew his face close to mine, making my heart skip a beat. “Does that clear it up? Do you understand now why I can’t leave you alone no matter how hard I try? I don’t want to. I don’t want to see you struggle when I can carry some of that burden for you, even if all I can do to help is listen to your frustrations.”
His words tickled across my skin like goosebumps, slowly settling down and sinking in, wrapping me in a world of warmth I’d never felt before.
