Page 8 of Drawn in Blood
The hours bled on,and before Ember knew it, it was midafternoon, and she was making the trek to Professor Moran’s office. She climbed the spiraling staircase that hugged the rounded walls of the school in the tree and held her breath as she stepped off into the fourth floor corridor. The walls were lined with a few offices, but the corridor itself seemed to be completely empty. Ember walked down the empty hall, listening to the sounds of her footsteps and her heavily beating heart echo in her ears. She reached the door at the end of the hall, took a shaky breath, and knocked three times.
“Come in,” Professor Moran’s voice said from the inside.
Ember reached to open the door, but before she could touch the knob, it swung open on its own. She stepped into the large office, and her eyes went wide. The walls to her left and right were lined with tall bookshelves and directly in front of her was a floor to ceiling window that rounded to meet with the other walls. It looked out over the grounds of Heksheim that were currently bathed in a gorgeous midafternoon glow. Professor Moran was sitting at her desk making notes on a piece of parchment when she looked up with a smile.
“Have a seat, Miss Lothbrok,” she said sweetly, as she motioned to the oversized chair in front of her. “How is your first day back going?” She seemed far more relaxed than she did in front of the school that morning. She radiated peacefulness, making Ember’s breath slow and heart steady.
“It’s going very well,” Ember replied, as she sat down. “Thank you, Professor. You needed to see me?”
“Ah, yes, I did.” Professor Moran nodded, as she shuffled paper across her desk. “I heard the Kitts had filed paperwork to finalize your adoption, and I wanted to check in with you.” A smile lit up her face, and she folded her hands on top of her desk. “You must be feeling a thousand different emotions, which I assure you is completely normal,” she continued. “I’m always here if you need to talk or work things out.”
Ember shook her head as she tried to smile. “I don’t want to bother you with it all.”
“It’s no bother at all.” Professor Moran leaned back in her chair. “It’s something I wish I had when I was adopted.”
Ember raised her brow. “You were adopted?”
Professor Moran nodded. “I know what you’re going through, and I know what emotions must be waging war inside of you,” she said, as she shuffled some papers around her desk. “Think of me as a counselor of sorts.” Her grin broadened as she winked.
Ember bit the inside of her cheek as she gave her a nod. “I’m doing fine, thank you.”
The dean cocked her head as she looked across the desk, and her emerald eyes seemed to stare inside of her. “It would be understandable if you weren’t.”
“Weren’t, Professor?” Ember asked, palms beginning to sweat.
“If you weren’t okay,” she whispered. “If you were more scared than excited.”
Ember’s breath hitched in her chest as she reached to her collar, tracing the runes on the pendant that hung at her neck.
“I’m fine, really,” she replied, but even she was struggling to believe the lie. “I’m very excited.”
“Adoption is a very happy process,” the dean nodded, “but it is also riddled with grief. You lost your family. You don’t have to put on a show for the benefit of others.” Her eyes darkened, as if memories were flitting through her mind.
“It was such a long time ago.” Ember shook her head. “I hardly even remember them.”
Lies.
“Time passed does not equate to healing,” Professor Moran replied, folding her hands on top of her desk.
Ember forced down the lump building in her throat as she plastered on a fake smile. “I appreciate the concern, Professor,” she took a breath, “but I’ll be fine. I’m very excited.” The lie tasted foul on her tongue.
“Very well then,” Professor Moran replied with a small smile. “You know where to find me if that changes. Now one last thing before I let you go.”
Ember held her breath as the Professor skimmed the papers littering her desk.
“I wanted to check and see if you needed the form to submit a name change?”
Ember stiffened, sucking in her breath. “Name change?” she repeated. “I’m sorry?”
Professor Moran nodded. “Yes, will you be going by ‘Ember Kitt’ after the adoption is finalized?”
Ember felt like cotton was lodged in her throat. Changing her name wasn’t something she had even considered when the Kitts brought up the adoption. Of course she would love to be a part of their family, but change her name? Dread filled her chest as she struggled to take in a breath. Her name was the last thing she had left of them. It was the last thing that tethered her to her family—to who she was. Who would she be if she wasn’t a Lothbrok?
But if she kept her name, what would that say to the Kitts? They had sacrificed so much, given her so much, what would they think if she didn’t take their name? Would they think she was ungrateful? Or that she didn’t love them? Dread rolled through her stomach.
Would they change their minds?
“I haven’t thought about that yet,” she replied quietly, trying to plaster on a fake smile. “I’m not really sure.”
