Page 29 of Diluted Truths
Theo’s voice broke my daydream. “You can put the bags back there. You’ll be bunking in Violet’s room. Hope you don’t mind the pink sheets. Vi and I are in my room. Jackie, you’re on the couch.”
“I can take the couch, Jackie can have the room,” Will offered.
I waved him off. “It’s okay, seriously. I have spent so many nights on this couch. You are the true guest here.”
Will nodded his head, understanding he couldn’t change my mind and made his way towards the room. It was sometimes scary how fast he could read me and understand my thoughts.
“He’s a good guy,” Theo stated as she sat on the couch. “I don’t mean to pry, but…”
“Yes you do, but what?” I laughed.
“Is there something going on between you too? Didn’t you say Fai hated him?” she asked as I sat next to her.
“No and yes,” I sighed. “I have no idea why Fai hates him, it makes no sense to me because he is genuinely a really good person.”
Theo looked at me skeptically for a moment. She had never been Fai’s biggest fan. However, she was grateful for how much he helped me, especially in getting sober.
“Do you wish there was something between you too?”
“Yeah, but nothing will happen,” I responded as I refused to meet her eyes. I did want something to happen. There was an undeniable attraction between the two of us. It felt like a true magnetic pull was between us.
A pull I was trying to ignore and fight.
“Jackie, I don’t want to misstep and I will always respect your decisions as long as they aren’t hurting you or other people,” she began as she turned to face me. “You don’t have to always listen and follow Fai’s advice and instruction. You can do what you want, even if he disagrees.”
I sighed. I knew she had a point, but she didn’t understand how much I owed Fai. I hid most of my addiction from Theo. She was pregnant with Violet when it started, and I left for Oregon by the time it was so severe it was affecting every aspect of my life.
She was aware that I wasn’t doing well, but not that I was drunk the majority of my waking hours. She didn’t know I was selling all of my belongings to fund my addiction, or that I had been fired from three jobs for drinking on the job. Fai saved me from that life. I owed him everything.
“Theo, you don’t understand…” I began, but was interrupted.
“Fai’s not Nathaniel, Jackie. He can’t replace our brother, no matter how much you want him to,” Theo stated, her tone strictand succinct.
“Don’t, Theo. Just don’t go there. That’s now how it is,” I argued as I stood and walked to the front of the fireplace and distractedly looked at the pictures on the mantel. More specifically, the picture of Theo, Nate and I on Christmas morning when I was eighteen. I needed to get physical space between us. Nate was always a touchy subject for me. “I don’t want to talk about Nate.”
“Who’s Nate?” I turned to see Will in the doorway with Theo perched on his hip. He had changed into sweatpants and a hoodie. He was even wearing glasses, which somehow made him even more attractive. His hair was also mussed, most likely from pulling on his hoodie.
“He’s my uncle, right mama?” Violet responded, looking to be already enamored by the doctor.
Who wasn’t at this point?
Theo smiled at her daughter, a smile that was solely reserved for Vi. “Yeah honey, he was your uncle.” She cleared her throat as her gaze turned to Will. “He was our brother, he passed away six years ago.”
Will turned to look at me, maybe for understanding as to why I hadn’t told him.
Truthfully, I hadn’t told anyone. Fai, Sarah and Oliver weren't even aware of Nate’s existence. It was almost easier to pretend like he had never been alive than to feel the pain of losing him. Especially when it was my fault he was gone.
Will’s eyes shined with compassion“He’s the one who got you out, right?”
Theo turned to me, shocked. “You told him?”
“A bit, yeah,” I responded, suddenly feeling overwhelmed by the amount of attention the two of them were giving me.
“Hmmm…” Will hummed to himself. “I was really hoping I could thank him. I’m sorry you lost him, Jackie.”
He put Violet down and slowly walked towards me. “What are you doing?” I asked.
“I’m giving you a hug, Jacqueline,” he stated matter-of-factly as he wrapped his arms around me and pulled me into him.
