Page 80 of Diluted Truths
I chuckled. Of course she did.
Theo grabbed my hand and pulled me into the kitchen away from her parents. “Pack your stuff, I’ll grab ours. I know where she went.”
I nodded in agreement and headed towards our room. We both knew it was time to leave. While I knew Jackie would miss Kai, she needed to go home. The place where she built her new family. After ten minutes of frantic packing, I made my way outside with our stuff, where Kai was loading Violet’s and Theo’s bags in our rental car.
Violet and Theo were loaded in the car when Kai stopped me. “Take care of them, okay?” I nodded in response. We stood for a moment before he pulled me into a hug. He pulled back slowly and entered the house without another word.
I sat down in the driver's seat and turned to Theo. “Where is she?”
“Turn left. I’ll direct you.”
We proceeded to drive down what felt like a never-ending road. I just needed to see Jackie and make sure she was okay. Her parents were monsters and took out all of their anger on Jackie. It broke my heart knowing the pain she must have suffered growing up.
After fifteen minutes we pulled over on a dirt road behind Samuel's truck. We were in the most unusual place. The ground was salt on either side of the road. It was beautiful yet empty. I turned to Theo, to see her staring out her window to where Jackie was kneeling on the salt.
“She always loved it out here. Nate would bring her here when things got bad at home.” Theo paused for a moment before turning to me. “The two of them, they were hurt the most by our parents. Don’t get me wrong, they weren’t good to Kai or I. But for some reason, Nate and Jackie were always on the receiving end of their cruelty.”
I nodded to her in understanding and slipped out the driver's side. Jackie was on her knees shaking from the sobs that broke my heart.
I couldn’t stand it.
“Jackie! What in the world are you doing out here?” I yelled as I ran towards her.
“I couldn’t be in that house anymore, I couldn’t listen to them blame me for everything. It wasn’t my fucking fault that Nate died! It wasn’t! It couldn’t have been…” she sobbed back to me. As I finally got to her I gathered her into my arms and held her as sobs racked through her body.
“I know. I know, Jackie,” I soothed and we collapsed onto the salty ground. “I know.”
“I’m not a bad person. I promise. It’s not my fault,” she continued as her sobs continued. “I would do anything to bring him back. It was a fucking accident that he died! It’s not my fault. It’s not.”
I couldn’t handle her tears. It was one of the most painful experiences watching this woman hurt. I needed it to stop, I needed my sunshine back.
“Jacqueline, look at me,” I urged as I lifted her chin so her eyes met mine. They were sparkling with unshed tears. “I know you’re not a bad person. Fuck, you are the best person I have ever known.”
She continued to look at me as her sobs began to slowly die down. “But they hate me. The people who are supposed to love me no matter what, hate me. I was never good enough for them, Will. I tried so hard. Why couldn’t I be good enough?”
I didn’t know how to answer, how could I?
Jackie’s parents had spent years tearing her down, saying she was worthless. Words couldn’t undo the hurt, undo the damage. All I could do was hold her while she let it out. I would hold her forever if it helped.
“I just wish I was enough for them, Will. I just wish I was enough for someone,” she whispered, almost to herself.
“Well, fuck them.” Jackie let out a teary laugh at my statement. “I’m serious. They should love you unconditionally, and you are enough.Theyaren’t enough for you. You deserve more, Jackie. I promise you’re enough. You’re everything to me. I love you, Jackie. I think I know you better than anyone else, and I know you are exactly enough for me.”
“You love me?” she asked.
That wasn’t meant to slip out. On the bright side, my accidental confession stopped her tears.
“Without a doubt.” I grabbed her jaw and cradled her head in my hands to be sure she would look me in the eyes and see I was telling her the truth. “You’re it for me, Sunshine,youare my everything. How could I not be head over heels in love with you?” It was true.
Every morning when I woke up she was my first thought. Whenever I thought of a funny joke, or story, I wanted to tell her. Every decision I have needed to make, I wanted to run it by her.
She was my world, my soul, my sunshine.
“Say it?” Jackie stated as her tears finally stopped.
“Say what?”
“That you love me.”
