Page 62 of The Duke's Accidental Wallflower
“Minerva,” he called after her, but she didn’t slow.
Evan clenched his jaw, catching up to her at last and gently grabbing her elbow, forcing her to stop. She wrenched her arm away, but he held firm, though gently, and stepped into her path. “Please,” he said, his voice urgent, raw. “Just... face me. Hear me out.”
Minerva spun around, her eyes flashing with anger, with pain she clearly tried to mask. “How dare you,” she spat, her voicetrembling. “You disappear for weeks, and then come back acting as though you care. After I thought–” Her voice broke, and she quickly looked away, her shoulders stiff with barely suppressed emotion.
He drew in a shuddering breath, his grip loosening but his presence remaining steady, unwavering. “You’re right,” he said quietly. “I don’t deserve your patience. I don’t deserve to be heard, not after the way I treated you. But please, Minerva... I had my reasons.”
She scoffed, her lips curling in disbelief. “What reasons could possibly justify abandoning me? Making me feel like a fool for trusting you, even for a moment?”
Evan’s gaze softened, but he could feel the weight of his own guilt crushing him. The way she stood there, her chin lifted despite the hurt he could see in her eyes, made him wish he could take back every moment he had ever caused her pain. “It wasn’t because of you,” he admitted, his voice thick. “It was never because you weren’t worthy. It was because I...”
He faltered, and she shook her head, stepping back from him. “Save your excuses,” she whispered. “You’re just a rake, Evan. I should have known better than to think you could be anything else.”
Her words were like a slap, and he flinched. But he refused to let her walk away, not without trying to make her understand. He reached out again, desperation threading through his voice. “Minerva, please. I know I have hurt you. But I swear to you,everything I have done, every mistake I have made... it was because I didn’t want to drag you into my mess. I didn’t want you to suffer because of me.”
She froze, her eyes narrowing with disbelief. “You think leaving me, hurting me, somehow protected me?” She laughed, but the sound was hollow, brittle. “You arrogant, insufferable fool.”
He swallowed hard, his fingers trembling where they held her. “Yes,” he said, his voice breaking. “Because the thought of you being ruined by association, of your name being whispered about because of me... it terrified me. You deserve someone better. Someone who isn’t... broken.”
Minerva’s expression wavered, but she drew herself up, her chin trembling. “Deciding what I deserve is not your place” she said, her voice fierce. “And you certainly don’t get to break my heart and then pretend it was for my own good.”
Evan’s shoulders slumped, the weight of his own shame pressing down on him. He had never felt more helpless, more unworthy of her. But he had to try, even if it meant baring every vulnerable, ugly part of himself.
Minerva’s eyes flared with anger and vulnerable defensiveness as she stepped closer to Evan. Her hands, trembling slightly, traced up to his shoulders, and the touch sent an involuntary shiver through him. The heat of her palms against his chest was both a comfort and a torment, and he found himself backing up instinctively—only to be stopped by the hedge behind him.
He swallowed hard, feeling trapped not just by the hedge but by the intensity of her gaze. “Don’t do this to me,” he whispered, his voice hoarse. But even as he spoke, his eyes dropped to her lips, drawn to the proximity of her, the way her breath mingled with his in the cool evening air. Desire warred with his better judgment, and he was desperate—aching—to close the distance between them.
Minerva leaned in, and for one suspended moment, he thought she might actually kiss him. Evan’s back pressed against the hedge, the cool leaves digging uncomfortably into his shoulders as Minerva stepped even closer. Her hands traced up to his shoulders, her touch searing through his jacket. His heart raced at her nearness, at the way her presence shattered every piece of resolve he had managed to cobble together over the last two weeks.
“Don’t do this to me,” he whispered, his voice barely more than a breath. But even as he spoke, his eyes betrayed him, drifting helplessly to her lips. He was desperate, aching to close the gap between them, to taste the anger and longing he saw mirrored in her gaze.
She took another step forward, forcing him back until there was nowhere left to retreat. He swallowed, the words he had practiced countless times in his mind now feeling woefully inadequate. But then, in a cruel twist, she leaned in—so close he could feel the warmth of her breath—only to pull away, her expression hardening.
“That’s all you ever wanted, wasn’t it?” she bit out, her voice dripping with bitterness. Her eyes, bright with unshed tears, searched his face as if trying to find some reason not to believe the worst of him. “To toy with me, to win me over, and then leave me.”
Evan’s chest constricted, her accusation cutting deeper than any blade. The hurt in her voice, the betrayal etched into every line of her face—it was almost more than he could bear. “No,” he said, the word cracking from his throat. “It was never just that.” He drew in a shaky breath, desperation thickening his voice. “I care about you, Minerva. More than anything. More than I ever thought I could.”
Her laugh was harsh, almost broken. “Then why did you run?” she demanded, her voice cracking. “Why did you make me feel like a fool for trusting you?”
The guilt twisted inside him, a gnawing, relentless ache. Evan reached for her, but her flinch made him stop, his hands hovering uselessly in the air before he let them fall. “Because I was afraid,” he admitted, the raw truth spilling out, leaving him feeling exposed and vulnerable. “Afraid that I would ruin you. That you’d be dragged down by the shadows I carry. I thought I was doing the right thing by staying away.”
Her jaw tightened, her eyes shimmering with the tears she refused to let fall. “You don’t get to make that decision for me,” she whispered, her voice thick with emotion. “You don’t get to protect me by breaking my heart.”
Evan’s throat burned, the weight of her pain crushing him. “You’re right,” he said, his voice raw. “I don’t deserve your forgiveness. But I need you to know that I never wanted to hurt you. I have spent every day regretting it, wishing I could take it back.”
Minerva’s gaze wavered, her anger battling with something softer, something more fragile. But even as a flicker of hope lit in his chest, he knew that words wouldn’t be enough to heal the damage he had done. Her walls were up, and he had no one to blame but himself.
She stared at him for a long, agonizing moment, and he could see the war waging in her eyes. The vulnerability he had glimpsed was quickly buried beneath her defenses, but he knew—he could feel—that some part of her wanted to believe him.
But he had hurt her too deeply, and he wasn’t sure if anything he said could ever be enough. Evan could see the turmoil in her eyes, the way her emotions churned just beneath the surface, and it shattered him. The part of him that wanted to pull her close, to promise he would never hurt her again, was warring with the part that knew he wasn’t good enough. That he would only bring her more pain.
“That’s why,” he said, his voice breaking, “I need to protect you. Even if it means keeping my distance. I cannot be selfish with you, Minerva.”
But she shook her head, defiance blazing through the hurt in her eyes. “You don’t get to decide that,” she said, her voice cracking.“You don’t get to push me away to protect me from whatever you think is lurking inside you.”
Evan opened his mouth to reply, to try one last time to make her understand, but the moment shattered when footsteps approached from the path. Evan stepped back a few paces to be hidden behind the hedge. Lord Gillies emerged from the shadows, his expression puzzled and cautious as he took in the scene.
“Lady Minerva,” Lord Gillies said, his voice laced with concern. “I have been looking for you. Is everything all right?”
