Page 80 of A Duke's Unwanted Bride
“No. She did not.” Warner gave his cousin a long, hard look. “You do not have to trust Adele, but you should trust in me. She is innocent; I feel it in my bones. I know it as surely as the back of my hand.”
“Scarfield, you have to see why it is so hard to believe that. You clearly care for her. Can you blame me for thinking that she has fooled you into thinking something she is not?” Toby canted his head towards him.
“I do care for her.” The words came out of his mouth before he could stop them. “That is why I let her go.”
“What do you mean?” Toby straightened.
“I cannot be the man I need to be, not when she is near me.” Warner let out a sigh. “I have let everyone down. I have failed all of you. Adele made me feel like perhaps I did not need all the trappings that I have made to keep myself on the straight and narrow — but her faith was misplaced.”
He thought of Adele’s hurt face as she had left his study. He remembered the moment of weakness as she had been about to leave. He had wanted to ask her when she would return, but when he had seen her eyes, the words had died on his lips.
The closest he could come to the question was asking if she would be taking her sewing with her. He hated the way he had wished she would say no, but he knew that this was for the best.
“And why are you so convinced of that?” Toby asked.
Warner shrugged. “You know what I used to be like. The kind of trouble I was in.”
“I do, considering I was at times your partner in crime.” For the first time, Toby’s smile touched his eyes. “We were quite the pair when the mood took us.”
“I have worked hard to keep from being that man. To do right by your brother. He always believed in me, and I did not want to let him down.” Warner felt an enormous weight settle on his shoulder as he looked at his cousin. “In truth, Toby, Adele does not deserve your anger. I do.”
“And how have you come to that conclusion?” Toby folded his hands across his chest.
“I let myself stray from the path Rothwell set me on, and instead of focusing on solving his murder, I…” Warner trailed off as Adele’s smiling face stole into his mind.
Toby’s voice was so soft Warner almost did not hear it. “You fell in love with his widow.”
The truth of his cousin’s words hit him with the force of a bullet. Warner was about to deny it, but the fight had left him. “It does not matter. I cannot be the man she needs, not when she is around. It is too easy to fall into my old ways.”
“You make it sound as though you were the worst man alive.” Toby shook his head. “But there was still much good in you. That is why Eric stepped in to help you. He never wanted you to completely abandon that side of yourself; he just wanted you to be the man he knew you could be.”
“I let myself get lost in Adele, in the freedom and carefreeness that follows her. When I married her, I swore I would protect her, but I cannot do that, not while I indulge in my weakness, and she makes me… she makes me forget.” Warner leaned against the desk, his hands tracing the spot where Adele had last touched.
He remembered the sadness in her expression. The way he had longed to comfort her. The despondency in her body when they had run into the problem of the cipher.I was the one who took us away from the case, just so I could make her smile.
“Your joy is not weakness, Cousin. Eric would have been glad that you have found some happiness in the misery of all of this.” Toby let out a long sigh. “In truth, I suspect some of my anger was because of that, and I am sorry. It was hard to see you so happy when my own heart has felt leaden since I heard the news.”
His cousin gave him a sad smile. Warner’s chest tightened. He knew that Toby was trying to console him, but he did not deserve it.
“It is understandable. I find that I feel rather guilty about the whole thing.” Warner massaged his jaw with his hand. “Nothingcould have happened between the two of us, not without Eric dying.”
“I suppose there is some truth to that, but my brother only ever wanted you to be happy. Besides, it is not like nothing could have happened between you.” Toby arched an eyebrow at him. “You simply would have had to keep your relationship a secret. While divorce is not unheard of, Father would have never stood for it. It is not the done thing, not for our sort of people anyway.”
Warner scoffed. “And yet he would be happy for me to seduce his daughter-in-law.”
He could just picture that conversation.
“My father need not have known. And Eric would have been a hypocrite to begrudge his wife finding happiness in the arms of another.” Toby poured himself a glass of scotch and took a sip.
Warner’s heart skittered. “What do you mean?”
“His mistress of course. Although, can one have a mistress before one is married?” Toby gave him a sardonic smile. “Either way — I am well aware that his heart did not belong to your wife.”
Warner felt as though someone had struck him in the belly. “He never told me.”
Did he not trust me?Warner’s chest ached, even as his head reeled.
“I suspect he did not want you to think less of him.” Toby shrugged. “You did rather idolise him, and his falling in love with a servant was the height of impropriety. Let alone being fool enough to sire a child on her.”
