Page 45 of Beauty and the Cop
"We aren't moving, Noah. They're seven."
"Exactly. She's too young to be following in your footsteps."
"My footsteps?" My wife gasps in outrage. "You're the one who s-t-a-l-k-e-d me through the window!"
"You did it too."
"Mama, you stalked Daddy through the window?"
"Fuck," I growl, peering over my shoulder. Nina's standing right behind me, her book bag in her hands and a pair of star-shaped sunglasses over her eyes. We keep forgetting she's sneaky, and she knows how to spell now. Nothing prepares you for this stage. It's impossible to keep secrets with a tiny ninja who knows how to spell.
"I did," Elsie says happily. "But he started it." She peers around me, blinking at our daughter. "Um, baby girl, you should probably leave your sunglasses at home."
"Daddy said I had to wear them." Our daughter points at me like she's pointing out the problem here. It's a setup. "He also said that sunlight is bad for me and we have to keep the curtains closed from now on."
"Noah!" Elsie cries, laughter in her voice.
"She misunderstood," I lie. I'm definitely going to hell.
"No, I did not!" Nina cries. "You said sunlight is bad for my health, and we have to keep the curtains closed all the time now."
"Okay, maybe I did say that," I admit begrudgingly. "But it's a good idea to keep them closed. UV rays and all of that."
"What's UB Rays?"
"UV Rays," Elsie corrects our daughter. "They're ultraviolet radiation, sweet girl. They're little particles the sun gives off that help us grow big and strong."
"And make us old and wrinkly," I mutter, earning a glower from my wife. I'm not wrong, though.
"I don't wanna get old and wrinkly!"
"Winky!" Lincoln agrees, bashing me in the chest with his car again. I take him from Elsie's arms, brushing my lips across his head before I set him on his feet.
"They do not make us old and wrinkly," she tells our daughter as Lincoln immediately runs off with his little car. "Your dad is just dramatic, baby girl. He thinks you like Felix."
My wife is a traitor.
"Eww!" Nina recoils, her nose scrunched up. "I donotlike Felix. Gross."
"You were watching him through the window."
"No, I wasn't." She plants her hands on her hips, glaring at me like I just kicked a puppy. "I don't like Felix."
Elsie just smiles while our daughter glares at me…and I quickly realize that she set me up. Our daughter definitely likes Felix. History is repeating itself.
Fuck my fucking perfect fucking life.
"Maybe I can convince his parents to move," I mumble.
"Don't you even think about it." Elsie jabs me in the arm. "Nina, go brush your teeth."
"Fine." She huffs, glares at me one more time, and then scurries off to the bathroom.
"Has anyone ever told you that your left eye twitches when you're stressed out?" Elsie asks, grinning as she wiggles back into my arms. "She's seven. It's a harmless crush. She'll forget about it by next week."
"Has anyone ever told you that you're a little minx when you want me to spank your gorgeous ass? It doesn't matter how old she is. Our daughter isn't allowed to have a crush on the neighbor boy."
Hell no. I know how that story goes. It starts with cookies, locked doors, and light stalking. Before you know it, he's moving in, has his ring on her finger, and she's pregnant.
