Page 5 of Beauty and the Cop
"It's about his dick, isn't it?"
She practically chokes on her tongue before she manages to compose herself. "How did you…?"
"I mean, it's a valid question."
"Right?" She stares at me with comically wide eyes. "I mean, logically, you'd think it would have to grow proportionally to the rest of him. But those shorts of his seem kind of tight, and there's no outline, so either Hulk-raging into his giant shape is like taking a bath in freezing water or…"
Jesus Christ.
Am I jealous that she's thinking about a fictional character's cock? Yes. Yes, I am. I'd rather she thinks about mine. It's definitely proportionate. And currently hard as a motherfucker.
"So…bread?"
Smooth, Kirk. Real fucking smooth.
Her lips curve, the dimples in her cheeks popping out at me, and I know that she knows damn well that I'm desperate to change the subject. But she doesn't call me on it.
Instead, she nods exuberantly.
"You brought cookies. I figured turnabout was fair play. Unless you don't like bread? Then I'll just eat it for you and feel sorry for you for missing out on the best bread in Chicago."
"Who the fuck doesn't like bread?"
"Apparently, half of Chicago," she grumbles, her eyes wide and offended. "Everyone is so health-conscious here."
"I take it that's not the case where you're from?"
"Texas, and no. I mean, maybe in some places in the state, but mostly, we just really like food." She shrugs. "Especially if it's bad for you, like carbs, red meat, and sugar."
"Sounds like a good time to me, Elsie. I fucking love to eat."
She stares at me for a second, this look on her face that I can't quite read. And then she fidgets, her cheeks turning pink again. "Um, well, I guess I should let you get to eating. The bread, I mean. While it's fresh." She bobs her head in another of those exuberant nods. "It's best that way. Very moist."
The more she talks, the more I want to eat her. I bet she'd be fucking delicious covered in honey.
Christ.
Stop thinking. Just…stop fucking thinking.
"Let me set this inside, and I'll walk you back to your place."
"Oh, you don't have to do that."
"I insist. It's almost dark out."
She eyes me sideways. "Is this a bad neighborhood?"
"There's crime in every neighborhood."
"That's not very reassuring, Noah."
I chuckle. "It's not a bad neighborhood, but no neighborhood is safe one hundred percent of the time. People fuck up, Dimples. They do stupid shit. They see an opportunity, and they take it. So why risk it?" I shrug, reaching for the door handle…except, it doesn't move. I wiggle it with the same results. "Oh, fuck me."
"What's wrong?"
This is more embarrassing than the time I accidentally tased myself in the thigh. The prongs were two inches from my dick. I couldn't pee straight for a week. But did the hot-as-fuck neighbor see me do it? No.
"Uh, I locked myself out."
