Page 76 of The Phyre that Burns
“You may be good, but it’s not fine. I wasn’t there when you needed me the most, and then I accused you of—fuck! I wouldn’t blame you if you stopped fucking with me, but baby, please don’t stop fucking with me. Give me a chance to redeem myself. Give me a chance to prove I’m worthy.”
“Umm, is everything all right over here?” the server asked.
“We’re good. Thanks,” he answered.
She left as quickly as she arrived before he continued.
“I’ll never forgive myself for how I handled you and this situation. I'll never apologize enough for my behavior. Last week, I reacted purely from emotion. You’d already told me you didn’t have any children, so when you confirmed that you’d been pregnant before, the thought of you having a miscarriage didn’t cross my mind.”
“It didn’t cross your mind because Kavia had already told you I’d had an abortion.”
“I hate to admit it, but yeah.”
“Can you move back to the other side?”
“If you don’t want me close to you, just tell me,” he said as he moved back to his side of the booth.
Ignoring him, I continued.
“Everything you’ve said about how you behaved last Saturday is true. You made assumptions without having all the information, you were mean and inconsiderate, and you didn’t act like someone who loved me. Not only that, but you didn’t give me a chance to fully answer your questions. You kept cutting me off because you’d already decided what you wanted to believe, and then had the nerve to tell me to leave. I don’t know if I was more hurt or pissed off, but either way, I’ll never stay where I’m not wanted.”
“I’ve never wanted anyone more than I want you. My love for you knows no bounds. I fucked up, but it’s blasphemous for you to believe anything else.”
“I’m not sure what I believe.”
“You know I love you, Sweetness.”
“You love the twenty-three-year-old me and who you think I’ve become. I love the twenty-six-year-old you and who I think you’ve become. We moved too fast, living off the high of the love we once knew, and haven’t taken into consideration the life journey we’ve been on and how much we’ve changed.”
“Make it plain for me, baby, because I feel like you’re saying this is the end of us, and I don’t want to jump to conclusions or make assumptions.”
“After this ordeal, you shouldn’t jump to another conclusion or make another assumption for the rest of your life. Take those words out of your vocabulary.”
He chuckled. “You’re absolutely right.”
“You’re the only man who has ever owned my heart. I tried to delete you from my memory and forget you existed, but it was impossible. I never thought we’d have a second chance, but being with you again has fulfilled me in ways I didn’t think were possible. I loved the twenty-six-year-old you enough to give the thirty-eight-year-old you a chance, but it has to be done my way.”
“I’ll do whatever you want.”
For the next thirty minutes, we finished our food while going over the rules, boundaries, and expectations of our relationship.
“I’ll no longer be staying in your house?—”
“Hold up, Nae. I?—”
“You’re going to listen to me without interrupting. If you have questions, save them until the end.”
“Got it.”
“We no longer live together, and I’m coming to get the rest of my things from your house. I would like to stay at the condo, but only if you give me your copy of the key. I don’t want you to have unlimited access to me, but you can stay overnight on the days I specify. Therapy . . . you need to go to therapy to deal with the issues you have with your parents, mainly your father, and Kavia. With the way you came at me, there might be some leftover resentment toward me. I went to therapy for years to help me deal with your betrayal and the loss of our child. I can go back, or we can do some sessions together. I’m open to either, but you definitely need some individual work.”
He waited a respectable amount of time to make sure I was done before he spoke.
“Is that all?”
“For now.”
“I love you too much to let you go, and I’ll do whatever it takes to keep you in my life.”
