Page 100 of Steel
“I’m saying, I want to give us a shot. I want to date you while rebuilding a friendship. I want more nights like this, with my son included. He has to be included in everything we do.”
“I wouldn’t think otherwise, Kerrion. He’s part of you and Nayelli. I would never exclude him. I wouldn’t try to replace his mother, but if things progress, I’d love and treat him like my own.”
He smiled. “He already likes you.”
“No, he likes laying on my titties the same way his daddy used to.”
He chuckled. “I mean, I loved laying on you, period. You were always so damn soft and smelled so good. You never complained about my big ass being too heavy either.”
I reached out, fingering his beard. “You were like a weighted blanket. It brought me comfort. I missed that. For so long after I left, I used a weighted blanket to give me that feeling, but it never quite hit the same.”
Whenever we slept together, he would always lay between my legs with his head rested on my chest and his arms wrapped around me. It had always been the best sleep for me. There were times when I would toss and turn because I couldn’t sleep without him. I either had to touch him or smell him to sleep peacefully.
Thinking about it now had me realizing just how crazy it was that we were so codependent upon each other. So many people told us we were too young to be so serious. That things wouldn’t last. That it was just puppy love. That might have been the case for them when they were our age, but it was our reality. We truly loved each other. To hear him say that hestillloved me gave me so much hope.
I made myself comfortable on my back and motioned for him to lay with me. He wasted no time, crawling between my legs and resting his head on my chest. His strong arms slid around me,and he released a heavy breath. I reached over and turned off the lamp.
In the darkness, we found peace in the silence.
Before long, we were drifting off to sleep.
My mother eyedme suspiciously as we sat in her living room watching KJ and Emmy play. She was practically staring a hole in the side of my head, and I was pretending not to notice.
“Yes, Tavia?”
She threw a pillow at me. “Don’t use my name like that. I’m mama to you.”
I chuckled. “Why are you staring at me?”
“Because something is different about you. You look lighter, and I’m not talking about your complexion.”
“I’m just happy, Ma.”
She smiled. “That makes me happy. Come here.”
I stood and walked over to her. She patted her lap, and I had to laugh.
“Ma. Be for real. Any other time, you’re yelling at me about sitting on you.”
“Boy, sit your ass down.”
I shook my head as I sat. She wrapped her arms around me from behind and rested her head on my back.
“I’ve been praying for you,” she said. “You haven’t been yourself in a long time, Kerrion. The boy I raised was always so sweet and loving. For years now, you’ve been walking around carrying pain and soothing a broken heart with weed and women that were never for you. You might be big as hell, but you’re my baby, and it hurts me when you’re hurting. I was so happy when you found Donna. She brought that softness back to you.
“I knew it was never going to be anything serious, but she allowed you to open your heart again. Even if she was just a friend, like you claimed, you loved her enough to share a piece of yourself with her forever.”
I stared at my son as she spoke.
He’d given me a new purpose in life and healed a part of me that was broken for so long. I loved him and his sister more than I thought was ever possible.
“The only thing I would change is Donna still being here to see him grow up,” I said.
“I know. She was a good girl, and I know she would have been a great mother.” She peered around to look up at me. “My grandbaby told me she and her mama had a little sleepover this past weekend.”
“Damn, Ma. You pumping my baby for information?”
She slapped the back of my head and pushed me off her. “First of all, Yelli tells her granny all y’all’s business and hers. I know she wants to see you and Neha together, and she said she saw y’all kissing.”
