Page 75 of Steel
Terrified, I thought.
I didn’t like it, but I understood why they did it. There were some sick individuals in this world. I watched the news and saw what was happening in our own backyard every day. I couldn’t scroll social media without seeing that another woman or child was missing. I read the horror stories of kidnappings and abuse . . . Hell, I lived in one once upon a time.
Somebody had to protect those who couldn’t protect themselves.
The thing was, I was terrified that it had to be Kerrion. The thought of someone taking his life hurt me to my heart. Even if he was out here taking lives, he didn’t deserve that, and my baby didn’t deserve it either.
I shrugged. “Honestly, it scares me. What if he gets killed on one of these missions? How am I supposed to explain that toNayelli? That would break her heart. She loves him already. I know she does. You see the way she looks at him. She adores that man, and I can’t blame her.”
Dinah smirked. “Be honest with me, Sis. You still care about that man?”
I took a sip of my coffee. “Maybe I do.”
“Do you still love him?”
I gave her a side-eye.
“Don’t look at me like that. You’ve been single since you left him. You’ve barely let another man inside you, Neha. Ten years is a long time to go without being loved and fucked properly. Especially when you’re used to it coming from someone that owns your heart. All these years later, I feel like he might still own it.”
“That’s crazy, Dinah.”
She cocked her head to the side. “Is it though? I mean . . . look at him. The man is gorgeous. The face. The body. Those big, strong, tattooed arms . . . God, I know he used to curl your ass like he was lifting weights.”
“Are you fantasizing about that man!” I exclaimed.
She laughed. “See your reaction? You were real offended just now.”
“Because that’s your niece’s father.”
“Because that’s the man your ass is still in love with. Don’t worry, boo. I won’t step on your toes. Even if I were a triflin’ ass sister that would go after your ex, you’d have nothing to worry about, because I see the future. This time next year, you’ll have your man back.”
“Okay, Raven Baxter.”
She giggled. “Call me what you want. I know what I know.”
“Do you know that you are coming to this dinner with me?”
“You thought I’d send you to the wolves by yourself? I have my all-black fit ready.”
I shook my head because she could never be serious.
I was nervous as hell about this dinner. Kerrion said we needed to be there around three. He’d already sent me the address to his home. He said he had something to show Nayelli, then we would ride up the road to his grandparents’ house together. My nerves had been so bad that I barely got any sleep last night. It was the reason I was up early this morning.
I’d come out here with my coffee, a blanket, and my gospel music to watch the sun rise. I said a prayer over my home, my family, and for Kerrion too. I needed him to be safe. I needed him to come home because I couldn’t bear to tell my baby that her daddy was gone so soon after meeting him.
Knowing what I knew now, I could see this shit driving me crazy when he had to be away. He wasn’t my man, but he took up a space in my heart that would forever be void if he left this earth before me.
Time didn’t change that.
I cameupon the turn my GPS directed me to.
The was a short, paved road that led to a huge iron gate with a big ass D crest in the middle. Beyond the gate was the rest of the paved road, lined with a fence and strategically planted trees that blocked out the sun.
“Um, . . . Sis. This is a little creepy,” Dinah said looking around.
“Hell yeah it is,” I muttered.
“Mr. K said he lives on a compound,” Nayelli said from the back seat.
