Page 92 of Steel
This morning, I sat looking at my son as he ate his breakfast. I thought about a conversation that Donna and I once had about having romantic partners around him in the future. While she wouldn’t be introducing a man to him, she knew I wanted to be married with kids one day.
“Don’t bring no chicken heads around my baby, KD. Get you a nice wholesome woman that’s gonna love him like her own. If she has kids, make sure them little fuckers aren’t mean to him because I’ll beat ass about mine.”
We were in her living room, with me rubbing her swollen feet while watching a movie. It was some Lifetime shit she loved to bully me into watching. The stepmother was a complete bitch to her stepkids, and that just riled Donna up.
“I hear you, man.”
“I’m serious, Kerrion. I want you to be happy, but KJ always has to come first. I know you’ll honor that, but she has to honor it too. I want to love whoever you end up with because at the end of the day, we’ll be family. I’ll treat your other kids like mine. Hell, they can call me auntie.”
I chuckled. “You hell, Donna.”
“You’re my best friend and I love you. If I really wanted a man or a husband, I’d lock you down. You think your wife would be okay with me using your sperm for another baby?”
I stopped massaging her feet and looked at her.
“LaDonna.”
“What! I don’t want multiple baby daddies!”
“Then we better get baby number two out the way before I fall in love with another woman.”
“I might have to rethink giving up my good dick supply.”
I playfully bit her big toe, and she threw a pillow at me.
“I’m joking,” she said, laughing. She stared at me with a smile on her face. “Seriously though. Give my boy a stepmama he can be proud of. I want him to adore her. If he doesn’t like her, she ain’t the one. Kids know good people.”
That much, I knew to be true. The way the kids in my family took to my sisters-in-law and Quaid said a lot. They even liked Titan’s ass. Whenever he came around, he was always flipping and rough housing with them.
Neha was always hesitant to ask to hold KJ, but Fat Man forced himself into her arms whenever he wanted, and I didn’t stop him. He was always smiling at her when she spoke to him. He’d give her slobbery kisses on the cheek or be laid up on her titties, content with himself. My boy was comfortable with her.
I could admit, the thought had crossed my mind a time or two.
Could I truly forgive her, and we move on?
Could we have something?
Could we ever be happy again?
I’d finally admitted to myself that I still loved her. All these years later, those feelings hadn’t died. They were lying dormant, waiting to blossom again. The part of me that always hoped she’d return couldn’t let that go. Last night, I’d almost given in to the temptation rocking my core every time I was around her. No matter how much anger I felt over her keeping my daughter away, the love I had for this woman just wouldn’t allow me to hate her.
What the fuck was I gonna do with that?
I pulled up to Ms. Anita’s house and got out to get my son.
“You ready to see Grandma?” I asked him as we headed up the walkway. “You be a good boy this weekend, dude.”
He babbled something in response as he made our way up the front steps. I rang the doorbell and waited to be let in. A minute or so passed, and she still hadn’t come to the door. I knew she was home because her car was in the yard. I rang the doorbell again and waited. Still, nothing. Pulling out my key, I opened the door and went inside. The house was quiet.
“Ms. Anita!” I called.
Nothing.
Setting KJ’s bag down, I walked through the house only to find it empty. When I made it into the kitchen, I saw the patio door was open. She must have been outside. I headed out back tofind the yard empty, but there was a shed there that wasn’t there the last time I’d been out here. Of course, that was a while ago, so that really wasn’t a surprise.
I walked over and knocked on the door.
“Ms. Anita?”
