Page 91 of Steel
“You almost got me in so much trouble that year,” I said, playfully pushing him.
“Nobody told you to follow my ass up. Admit it. You loved the thrill. You were a good girl. You probably didn’t step foot out of line before you went off to college. I made you live a little.”
“The result of us living a little too much just went in the house,” I reminded him.
His smile dropped a little. “Can I ask you something?”
“Anything.”
“If things had been different, . . . would you have told me about her?”
I nodded. “Yes,” I answered honestly. “I would have been just as scared to be pregnant, but I would have told you.”
“You ever thought about not keeping her?”
“No. Never. I loved you, Kerrion. As afraid as I was, I still loved you, and I could never just get rid of her.” I grabbed his hands. “There were so many times I wanted to call you. So many times I wanted to come back and try to fix things. I never st?—”
I paused in confessing my feelings. What good would it do me?
“I’m sorry. From the bottom of my heart, I swear I am. Seeing you with her, . . . the way you love each other already, . . . I wish I could turn back time. I wish I would have shared my past with you instead of allowing it and my fear to control my actions. I just—I’m sorry.”
I couldn’t hold back the tears any longer. Burying my face in my hands, I wept.
I wept for what I’d done.
I wept for the time I’d stolen from him and our child.
I wept for the life we could have had because I still loved this man so fucking much. I buried my feelings deep the day I walked away. They never diminished. They never softened. They were just there, tucked and buried away because I was afraid to face them.
Kerrion pulled me into his chest, hugging me tightly. The familiar feeling crept back in like a thief in the night as my tears began to subside. I relaxed in his arms and took a few deep breaths.
“I forgive you,” he said softly.
He hadn’t said that yet, and it was such a huge relief.
Pulling away, he cupped my face and stroked my cheeks with the pads of his thumb.
“I don’t like being angry with you,” he said, staring at me. “I never did. That shit hurts, and I don’t need any more pain, Neha.”
“I never want to hurt you again.”
He kissed my forehead. When he pulled back, his eyes drifted to my lips. I wanted him to take charge so bad and just fucking kiss me. I couldn’t bring myself to lean in and take it, so I waited. He stepped closer to me, pushing me up against the truck. My hands were gripping his shirt for dear life in anticipation. His lips were so close to mine that I could almost taste him.
Then he pulled away.
“I should—” He cleared his throat. “I should go. I’ll see you this weekend.”
I swallowed hard. “Okay,” I said, just above a whisper. “Goodnight, Kerrion.”
“Good night, Neha.”
He stood there until I made it up the front step before climbing in his truck. I watched as he pulled off, taking a piece of me with him.
I feltlike I was setting myself up.
Last night was too close. I’d almost kissed that woman, and I knew if I did that, I was going to be in trouble. Ever since we shared that hug at the compound, I felt the ice around my heart melting. Every interaction. Every touch. Every glance that lasted a little too long had me second-guessing the feelings that were slowly returning.
It didn’t help that my daughter was boldly advocating to have a real family. She straight up let us know what it could be, and I’d be damned if she wasn’t right. My baby was wise beyond her years.
