Page 30 of Steel
“What if that anger is lying dormant, Dinah?”
“What if it’s not? What if those were isolated instances? You said he was protecting you.”
“He was, but we saw how ‘protective’ our sperm donor was with Mama too. He put on a front in public and raised hell in private.”
“Daddy was?—”
“Don’t call him that. That man is not our father.”
“Timothy,” she corrected. “Timothy was different. You loved this man, Neha. You were head over heels in love. If he was anything like Timothy in the slightest, I don’t think you could have loved him.”
If I was being honest, I’d never loved anyone the way I loved Kerrion. Not then, and not since. He’d ruined me for another man. I hadn’t been in another relationship. I hadn’t let another man get next to my heart the way he had. Truth be told, I bottled up my feelings about him and tucked them in the back of my closet, along with my memories of the abuse I endured as a child.
There was no chance of ever retrieving and reviving them at this point. I’d taken it too far, and I wasn’t sure there was redemption for me. Women that hid babies were considered trash. I didn’t hide my child to be spiteful or for a come up later like some of them. It didn’t matter, though. I’d never be able to explain myself because this man didn’t even want to hear it.
I kept quiet at my sister’s statement, my eyes still on Kerrion and Nayelli. It wasn’t long before a beautiful woman walked over to their table with a baby on her hip, . . . a baby that looked an awful lot like Kerrion and Nayelli. Was that his baby mama? She held a smile on her face as she turned to my baby. I watched asshe cupped her face. Tears pooled in her eyes as she spoke to her. When she kissed her cheeks, I was about to get out of my seat until my sister grabbed my arm.
“Don’t,” she warned.
“He told me not to speak on his baby mama, but he has her kissing my kid!”
“That’s his sister, Jaeda. She met Nayelli earlier today.”
I squinted as I took a closer look at her. It finally registered that she was, in fact, the sister he’d shown me in pictures. I eased back into my seat and palmed my face.
“Shit.”
“Calm down, girl,” Dinah said, grabbing my hand.
I took several deep breaths, trying to regulate my flight of emotions. All that went to shit when someone cleared their throat next to me. I looked up to see his sister standing there with her arms crossed.
“I’m gonna start by saying you’re lucky it’s me here and not my sister. This would be a very different conversation.”
I sat up and pressed my back to the chair. “Excuse you?”
“My brother is a good man and a hell of a father. Why the fuck would you keep his child from him?”
“I don’t owe you?—”
“That’s my niece. You owe me just as much as you owe our entire family. Let me make something very clear. If you fuck up Kerrion’s chance at being a father to that little girl again, you and I are gonna have a problem. My brother might not hit women, but I will fuck a bitch up on his behalf.”
Dinah stood from her seat. “You touch my sister and I’m the one you’re gonna have a problem with.”
Jaeda smirked. “I’m not a bitch you want smoke with, love. And that’s coming from the mild-mannered one in the family. About my brother, shit can get very real, very quick. The only reason I didn’t come in here and touch either of you is off thestrength of him and my niece. Make no mistake. You fuck with him, and you’ll see a whole other side of me.”
She looked both of us up and down before walking away. Kerrion watched from his seat as Nayelli played with her brother. He was laughing and grinning with her like they weren’t complete strangers. Nayelli loved babies, so I knew she was going to take to being a big sister.
“They look good together,” Dinah commented.
“They do,” I whispered, swiping at a tear in my eye. “I’m scared, Dinah. Our entire lives are about to change. Kerrion comes from a huge, close-knit family. What if they all hate me? What if every interaction is like that one?”
“You’ve got me, and I’ve got you. You aren’t a punk, Neha. Acknowledge what you did, but don’t let no muthafucka disrespect you. I don’t care who it is. What’s done is done. It’s unfortunate, but life has to move on at some point.”
I knew she was right, but how did we move on from this?
“Fuck! Shit! Oh my God!”
Tiffany’s screams echoed off the walls of my loft as I pounded her from behind. It had been a minute since I’d kicked it here. I kept the lights on and the bills paid. Twice a month, I paid a service to clean and dust the place for me. I hadn’t had a reason to be here, but tonight, I needed to relieve some stress.
