Page 39 of The Bones We Break
I feel her begin to pull away from me and I’m reluctant to let go but all of this is on her terms, and I’ll happily follow her lead. Ana quickly wipes the tears from under her eyes, like she’s embarrassed of them and coughs to clear her throat before stepping back, closer to her car.
“Fuck. I’m sorry Dean, you shouldn’t have to deal with my shit.” I go to close the space between us again, to explain that I can take it. I want to take it from her but she lifts a hand between us to stop me in my tracks.
“Don’t. I need to go.”
I open my mouth to beg her to stay, to explain what’s goingon but she doesn’t give me the opportunity as she rounds her car and climbs in and quickly starts the engine. She makes eye contact with me for a split second before flying out of the car park, loose rocks and gravel flying around after her.
I’m left standing in the cold night with a million fucking questions racing around my mind and the heavy temptation to drag her back to me.
I probably shouldn’t have tailed Ana after she drove away, but I needed to make sure she got home safely, even if she didn’t want me there. I kept my distance as I followed her through main street and into the outskirts of town until she pulled into an apartment complex. As not to get to stalker level, I didn’t follow her too far but I was close enough that I could see her leave her car and walk into the apartment block. After a minute a light came on through a window on the second floor, her frame blocked the warm light as she drew the curtains closed.
After leaving Ana’s apartment I asked Eli to come round to the house. I know full well he would be able to find out everything about Ana, from the moment she was born right up to present day but that’s not what I was asking of him. I didn’t want to fully invade Ana’s privacy, I wanted her to tell me everything on her own terms because I know her wounds only run skin deep, that there’s more behind her hard exterior.
“Why don’t you just ask her yourself?” Eli pipes up, his laptop sitting on the counter top in the middle of my kitchen.
“Don’t you think I’ve tried that, dumbass. I don’t want you to dig up everything about her, I just need to know if she’s truly married and who to. The rest of it, she can tell me when she’s ready.” I say, my head aching from the million questions whizzing around in there. Eli lifts his eyes from his screen and peers over the top of his laptop. “You’ve got it bad for this girlhaven’t you?” He teases. “My Deany boy has gone and caught feelings, fuck, I never thought I’d see the day. At one point I was convinced that you were still a virgin!” He belts out, his shoulders shaking up and down as he laughs at my expense.
I run a hand down my face, already regretting asking him to do this.
“Can you just-”
“Yeah, yeah I’m doing it.” Eli butts in and begins to tap away on his laptop. It only takes him a couple of minutes before the clacking of the keyboard stops and he lifts his head again from the screen.
“So your girl is married, Has been for almost five years.” My stomach plummets at the realisation. Even though I knew from the ring, I didn’t really want to believe it. I keep quiet as Eli carries on scouring the information he’s found.
“Shit. Have you seen who she’s married to?” My brows furrow at his statement and I stride over to where he’s sat, leaning my forearm on the counter to take a closer look at his laptop. My eyes scan over the screen, zoning in on one name. “Ricky De Rossi. Where have I heard that name from?” I try to wrack my brain as to where I recognise the distinct name.
“Remember a couple of years ago, and I’m talking years, we’d just started working together and you were hired to find this girl’s attacker by her parents. I don’t remember her name but she’d had a bad run in with a dude. Ended up being tortured for hours.” Eli fills me in on the gaps that I’d clearly blocked out of my mind. This young girl’s parents had heard about me and my job skills and wanted to hire me to find their daughter’s so-called boyfriend, that’s what they believed anyway, after she’d gone missing. It would soon turn out that she’d been brutally tortured and murdered by Mr Ricky De Rossi, Ana’s husband.
The woman I’m falling for is married to a psychotic, murdering, woman beater. My face pales at the thought of everything that Ana could have possibly endured at his hands, the bruises covering her beautiful skin. What else is she hiding under her cloak of armour that I can’t see.
“Fuck.” I sigh, a heavy breath leaves my lungs.
“Indeed. That dude is fucking crazy man. It’s a surprise that she ended up here instead of dead.” A sour taste fills my mouth along with a sick feeling in my stomach at the thought of Ana not being on this planet because of a fucking man. A pussy one at that. My blood begins to boil, anger and fury bubbling under my skin. It wouldn’t take me two minutes to target this fucker and send a bullet straight through his brain. He’d be dead before his lifeless body hit the deck like a useless sack of shit, but that would be too easy. No, Ricky doesn’t deserve an easy death. He deserves to have his skin peeled away from his bones, his flesh flayed by my hands. Eli’s hard grip on my shoulder brings me back from the edge.
“Calm down man, I’ll keep a look out for this fucker. There’s nowhere that he can’t go without me knowing.” I release the tension in my jaw and nod my head, the white hot rage now simmering to a slow boil.
“Thanks man, I appreciate that.” I look appreciatively at my best friend who would do anything for me and I, him. Eli’s phone begins to ring on the counter, his wife’s picture illuminating the screen.
“I better go before the wife tans my ass for being late for dinner. You don’t wanna be on her bad side when she’s mad dude, even though I do find it kinda hot.” He winks.
“Okay yeah, I’ve heard enough Eli. Thanks.” I cut him off before he can go into detail about how he loves to be bossedaround in the bedroom by his Latina wife.
Eli stands and brings me in for a hug, his hand slapping my back. “I got you man.” I tip my chin at him. “I got you too.” Eli grabs his stuff and places the phone between his ear and his shoulder as he makes his way over to the front door, giving Lyla a quick scratch between her ears as he passes the couch.
“Yeah baby, I’m coming. Calm down. Okay, yep, I’m sorry. I love you.” I chuckle at Eli’s quick words to his wife as I wave him off, watching him drive off down the gravel path.
Exhausted, I lazily make my way into the living room and land heavily next to Lyla, her head coming to rest on my lap. My fingers run through her soft fur, and she sighs beneath my touch.
“What am I gonna do baby girl? Ana isn’t safe out there whilst Ricky is still alive and I know it won’t be long before he tracks her down.” I say to Lyla knowing that she can’t give me the answers I need but I take comfort in knowing that she’s listening to me. Tipping my head back I rest it against the plush cushions behind me and sink deeper into the sofa. My eyelids begin to grow heavy and before I know it, sleep drags me under.
He’s been here. My husband has been here.
When I left Dean in the car park I raced straight home to my apartment. I needed the space to breathe. Dean has a habit of stealing every ounce of oxygen from my lungs without his own knowledge. Leaving me choked and breathless. I could have easily sunk into his embrace and poured my heart out to him but I’m too ashamed, I’m embarrassed at the fact that I stuck around for so long that I allowed a man to viciously put his hands on me. I thought I was strong and independent but Ricky burst through my defences like a bulldozer and left me a broken mess, and now I’m struggling to pick up the sharp pieces of myself, the pieces that Dean so willingly would carry for me, even if it sliced him open in the process. I felt truly safe in his arms, like nothing could ever touch me again. A fierce protector, that’s what Dean is but I can’t stop the hurt that twists around my heart like barbed wire at the memory of his face as I told him to back away from me. His forest green eyes turned dull and empty at my words, like I’d stolen the very essence out of him and maybe I did in that moment but I didn’t stick around to find out.
Instead I ran away and came home to find the door of myapartment wide open, the lock completely busted. Fear gripped me around the throat as I took small, steady steps into the apartment, pulling the switch-blade out of my back pocket. Hoping and praying that I wouldn’t be forced to use it. I held the knife in a death grip in front of me, the sharp blade ready to attack and began to walk further into the dark living room. My hand fumbled across the wall until I located the light switch, flicking it on to find utter chaos. The once cosy black sofa was now ripped to shreds, the fabric torn and shredded, the fluff from the cushions looked like a cloud had exploded in the room. The glass on the TV had cracked into a spider web shape across the screen, a hole right in the centre like someone had taken a baseball bat to the screen.
Heavy tears began to well in my eyes, the only things I owned had been destroyed. I felt my chest heaving and straining as I delved further into the apartment towards my bedroom, still gripping the knife in my hand. I pushed the door open slowly and held my breath as I stepped into the small room and flicked the light on.
