Page 16 of My Defiant Mate
I feel it building, the tension coiling tighter and tighter. My back arches off the bed, my body seeking more, always more.
"I've got you," he murmurs, and that's all it takes.
I shatter, my release hitting me with a force that whites out my vision. I cry out his name, my body clenching around him.
Jionni groans, his rhythm faltering as my inner muscles milk him. "I'm going to—"
I feel it happen—a sudden, impossible pressure deep inside. The base of his cock swells, stretching me past any limit I thought I had, filling me so completely it feels like I'm being remade from the inside out.
He collapses on top of me, his weight a comforting pressure. I can feel his heart racing against mine, our breathing ragged. His face is buried in my neck, and I can feel him inhaling deeply, scenting me.
"Are you okay?" he asks after a moment, his voice muffled against my skin.
I laugh, a breathless, slightly hysterical sound. "I don't think I've been okay since I met you."
He lifts his head, his expression serious despite the sweat-dampened curls in his eyes. "I mean it, Toby. I didn't hurt you, did I?"
My chest warms at the concern in his voice. "No," I assure him, reaching up to brush a curl from his forehead. "You didn't hurt me."
He shifts slightly, careful not to pull on the knot still tying us together. We settle into a more comfortable position, his arms around me, my head on his chest. This quiet feels nothing like my empty room. I can hear us breathing, the bed creaking when we move. It feels alive.
"Why is it so important?" Jionni asks suddenly. "The job, the rules. Why do you hold onto them so tight?"
I'm quiet for a long moment. "My parents," I finally say, tracing an idle pattern on his skin. "Last Christmas, my dad fell asleep at dinner because he'd worked a double shift to afford my textbooks. My mom's hands are always cracked from cleaning chemicals. They've always… they've always wanted more for me."
"And you don't want to let them down," he supplies.
I nod. "I'm the first one in my family to go to college. This scholarship… it's everything. They're so proud, you know? The way my dad tells everyone his son is at Westbridge. The way my mom keeps my acceptance letter in a frame on the wall."
Jionni's hand strokes my hair, a gentle, soothing gesture. "And you think they'd be disappointed? Like all that hard work was for nothing just because you found me?"
My throat tightens at his question. "I don't know. Maybe not you specifically, but me risking everything for… for…"
"For a fuck?" he suggests, his voice carefully neutral.
"No," I say immediately. "No, it's not just that."
He's quiet, waiting.
"I've never felt like this before," I whisper, barely able to get the words out. "It's like someone else is controlling my body. Like there's this… this pull I can't fight no matter how hard I try. And that terrifies me."
His arms tighten around me. "I know," he says, a rawness in his voice that makes me look up at him. "I've spent my whole life running from this exact thing."
"What do you mean?"
He sighs, a heavy sound. "My parents. They were fated mates. Just like us. But they… they destroyed each other."
I stay silent.
"They fought constantly," he continues, his eyes fixed on the ceiling. "Screaming matches, broken dishes, holes in the walls. I remember being a kid, maybe eight, hiding in my closet and listening to my mother scream that she hated him, only to hear them fucking an hour later because the bond wouldn't let them stay apart. It wasn't love; it was an addiction. They called it 'fated.' I called it a prison."
"That's why you're so…" I trail off.
"Fucked up?" he suggests with a humorless laugh. "Yeah. I swore I'd never get caught in that trap. Never believe in the 'fated mates' bullshit. And then you knocked on my door."
I reach for his hand, lacing our fingers together.
"I'm scared too," he admits, squeezing my hand. "Not of Henderson or losing my housing. I'm scared of feeling this much. Of wanting someone this much. Because what if it all goes to shit, like it did with them?"
