Page 21 of Cage of Destiny
The horses whinnied as Nathenekreturned to the campsite.
“I have my answer foryou.”
“Already?” he asked, takinga seat on his bedroll and removing his boots.
“I trust Kerdan with mylife.”
Chapter Seven
Racing through the dark forest as fast as her legscould go, Allyssa tripped over a tree root and landed on her handsand knees. Someone chuckled, the sound echoing around her.Scrambling to her feet, she started running again. Footstepspounded not far behind. Up ahead, she saw a sword protruding from apine tree. She yanked it free and turned to face her pursuer. Somastood there, blood dripping from his hands and mouth. Hesmiled.
Allyssa screamed and woke up. Sweatcovered her body and her hands shook.
“You all right?” Nathenekasked.
She rolled onto her side. It was stilldark out, the stars visible through the pine trees towering abovethem. “I’m fine.” Her voice sounded weak.
“Do you want to talk aboutit?”
Crickets chirped—the only soundbesides her rapid breathing. “No.”
“Every night, you toss andturn in your sleep. Sometimes, you yell. It might help if you talkabout it.”
“It’s the middle of thenight,” she snapped. Couldn’t he leave her alone? “I already toldyou I don’t want to talk about it.” Hounding her wasn’t going tohelp. “Besides, I don’t even know you.” She rolled onto her back.Her dreams would eventually go away. They had to.
“True. However, I feel likeI know you because you are Savenek’s twin. Like it or not, I carefor you by default.”
What would Allyssa’s brother think ofher once he knew what she’d done? What about Rema and Darmik? Wouldthey be revolted and not want anything to do with her?
“Sometimes talking tosomeone you aren’t close to is easier.” He rolled over, his voiceclearer. “But if you’d rather wait to talk to your mother, Iunderstand. Please know that because you are Savenek’s sister, Iwant to help in any way I can.”
Taking a deep breath, she consideredher options. Lay there, unable to sleep, with Soma invading herevery thought. Or, try talking about it with a man who wouldprobably keep her darkest secrets safe. It couldn’t get any worse.At this point, she had nothing to lose and everything to gain. “Hehaunts me. Every time I close my eyes.”
“Who?” he askedcarefully.
“Soma, Jana’s son, theassassin I killed.” She’d wanted to hurt him for all he’d done,needed to cause him as much pain as possible. And she’d reveled inhis screams. Desired more. How far would she have gone if Odarhadn’t stopped her? The memories made her want to vomit. How couldshe have lost it like that? Hacking off his fingers?
“Why do you think that is?”he asked.
“You’re the assassin. Youtell me.”
“I think you alreadyknow.”
“Guilt.” She’d takenanother life; now she was paying for it.
“Are you sorry you killedhim?” he asked.
“No, I’m not.” If Somalived, he would have murdered more people. She’d saved lives bytaking his. “If it’s not guilt, then what is it?” Did Nathenekexperience these feelings every time he killed someone? Was thisnormal? She didn’t know if she could handle living withit.
“It’s called aconscience.”
“How’s that different fromguilt?” she asked, turning to face him. She could only see theoutline of his body in the darkness. It helped not being able tosee his face while she talked about this.
“If you killed someone andfelt nothing, no remorse for taking a life, then that would meanyou are heartless.”
Tears filled her eyes. “Hewas a monster. I hated him. Iwantedto kill him.” That was thepart that scared her—the desire to take his life.
“To feel, to hurt, is to behuman,” he said. “Cherish those feelings.”
