Page 9 of The Child of Rue Royale
There’s the swing I sat upon the night Nicola and Franklin came barreling up the driveway to see if the rumor was true. Was Bastian sleeping with a witch? Inside are the stairs I ran up to tell Cassius they were coming, and he warned me to hide. Everything inside me quakes, and I lose my breath.
Can I do this? Can I live in this house where so much happened in such a short spell of time? The world sways, and I have to close my eyes for a moment. But then I see his face, his aventurines smiling, telling me that this is what he would want, will want once he’s back. For us to be settled here, his daughter to know this home as her own. Everything inside me ignites.
“You coming, or what?” Mother yells from the porch, and I raise my head and take another step toward my future.
The door opens, and Cassius is in the frame, reality seeming to pummel me over and over again.
“Welcome to your home,” he says, his hand motioning for us to step inside.
Our home, Bastian.
I swallow back the lump in my throat, trying to get a hold of the tears. They are really out of control, and maybe it’s the pregnancy or maybe it’s the trauma, but I hate how they are always on the verge of falling these days.
The three of us walk inside, and Cassius forces a smile.
“So lovely to see you all,” he lies, and I laugh.
“We are kind of a package deal now,” I say, and he nods as he and Mother try to wipe the mutual disgust from their faces. I know this isn’t easy for him. Being in the company of those he hates, and I appreciate the effort.
“Three for the price of one. Our fourth couldn’t come. She has little ones.” Mother’s phony smile is meant to annoy Cassius, and it seems to have worked.
“Lucky me,” Cassius quips with an emotionless sneer.
Chantal and Mother look up and around, this house new to them. But for me, the familiar scents hit my nose, and it’s almost like he’s here. Like he could turn the corner and walk down the hallway, barefoot and smiling.
“Baby,” he would whisper and pull me in his arms, his white teeth sparkling.
I wobble, and Chantal grabs my hand, putting her arm around my shoulder.
“You’re okay,” she whispers, knowing I’m not. I’m not okay at all.
My pain makes Cassius uncomfortable, so he clears his throat, walks to the entryway table, and grabs a bin.
“Keys, garage door remote, alarm, door codes, and pool remote…it’s all in here. You know how to use most of it.” He hands me the bin, and it’s like he’s suddenly caged in here amongst the enemy, yearning to get out.
“Thank you,” I whisper, the hold on my emotions fleeting every second.
“If you have any questions, you can text me. But I have somewhere I’m urgently needed.” Lies, but I understand.
He stalks to the front door, and I can acknowledge that this causes him pain too, so I hand the bin to Chantal with an urge to speak to him alone. “I’ll be right back, and I’ll be fine,” I say, giving my hardest glare to keep my little wolves at bay. They look like they’ll behave, so I walk out, running down the steps.
“Cassius, wait,” I breathe out, the littlest movements becoming harder with each passing day. He turns so quickly, I’m suddenly face to face with him, and I have to adjust my footing to keep from falling backward.
His eyes are rimmed in red, as if he too has tears he’s holding back, and I long to tell him my plan. So he won’t be quite so miserable, so he can know there’s an ending point for our sorrow. But I can’t, so I just take a deep breath and gather my words.
“You didn’t have to do this. I know that. You could’ve chosen to keep hating me and shunned me and turned your back on me. And maybe that’s what you want to do. But I also know you honor Bastian and would do what he would want, and that’s why you did this. So I thank you, from the bottom of my heart.” My lips tremble, the next words vibrating on my tongue. “Your niece will know you and love you, and your protection will mean everything to her. To me and my family.”
He clears his throat, bringing his hand to his chin, and rubs his thumb along his bottom lip. “What you’ve said is true, for the most part. And I’m grateful for your appreciation. But you do have one part wrong. I didn’t do it only because it’s what Bastian would want. I wanted it too. I…I provide for my family. And as the mother to my niece, you are family.” He looks between the open door and me, a part of him surely dying that witches are taking over his brother’s home.
“Then you are my family too,” I say, swallowing the wave of emotions his words have evoked. A part of me wants to hug him, to thank him for opening his heart to me, but I don’t want to scare him away. Make him retreat. So I clasp my hands at my heart instead and decide to ask him what I’ve been longing to ask.
“Cassius,” I say, biting the inside of my cheek, my gaze sweeping before me. “I was hoping you had something of use to me. Something I’m sure I shouldn’t be asking for.” I clench my fingers tightly, so much that the tips pulse as if begging to burst. “I won’t go into too many details, but this is not a secret request or deal. I just need to learn everything about Bastian’s past. So, I’m curious if he kept a diary orjournal. He started writing in one at my house but only wrote one entry. I know it doesn’t sound like him. I thought it was cute.”
Cassius tries to hold in a laugh as his gaze floats to mine, but a chuckle slips out. “Bastian could hardly keep a schedule, let alone a diary. If he tried starting one with you then it was something new.”
I look down at my fingers, finally releasing them, defeat disappointing me. “I knew it was a long shot… I’m just… A little lost.”
“What good would a diary do? Prolong the pain? Make the cut even deeper? I’ve lived a long life and know there’s nothing one can do for this kind of pain but to wake up every night and live with it. And pray—pray that time will lessen the wound.”
