Page 53 of The Child of Rue Royale
He opens them, reaching for the book. He reads in silence for a few minutes, and I watch his eyes glaze over, taking in the moments with my grandmother, the quarrel with Cassius. Then he looks up at me and says with astonished eyes, “That girl was your grandmother?”
He’s puzzled, but there’s a spark of memory, so I clasp my hands over my chest. “Yes!”
Emotions bubble up my throat because he remembers her, and I want to jump up and down. But his face falls as he shakes his head. “I remember a girl in Pirate’s Alley. Arguing with Cassius. But that’s all. If I spoke to your grandmother on the street years ago, you don’t think I would have told you that? I don’t remember a thing she said.” His look is incredulous, a vein of annoyance in his voice.
He must notice the tightness in my jaw, how I ceased breathing, how my neck turned to stone. Because his hand reaches across the table to find mine. “I’m sorry, I…at that time I was getting blood drunk as often as I could, consuming massive amounts of drunk blood that it was the equivalent of getting black-out drunk for humans. I eventually had to stop drinking from drunks. I vaguely remember Cassius being angry with me in the alley…but I’m so sorry. It’s a blur.”
Squeezing his hands back, I try hiding the disappointment, but I’m failing. His hand jolts from mine, and he rises to put his plate in the sink.
“Not getting much right, am I?” His wounded voice cuts through me as he runs the water in the sink.
“Bastian, don’t say that,” I spit out, harsher than I had meant to. I command the faucet off, and he bows his head, bracing the sides ofthe sink. He’s so still, like his skin is filled with concrete. “I’m so embarrassed you read those things about me.”
“You shouldn’t be.” Sliding out of the kitchen chair, I walk over to him, wrapping my arms around his ribcage, crushing my body against his back.
“Guess you should have brought your grandmother back and not me,” he whispers like a ghost, and it steals my breath.
My forehead falls against his back, agony sweeping over me in a hot gush.
“Stop,” I can barely whisper, and he straightens, pushing my hands down
from his chest, spinning to face me.
His jaw clenches like it could snap, like a rubber band pulled too tight, unable to take any more resistance. Heavy breaths leave his nostrils, his green eyes glaze over. “I feel useless. I let myself die. Let Franklin torture you. Let him antagonize my family.”
“He’s dead, Bastian. It’s over.”
“Not for me!” he roars, and I step back, his rage requiring distance. “I’m just so goddamn angry. I’m overcome with it. I want you to bring him back so I can kill him with my bare hands all over again. I want him to pay for what he took from me, took from us.” He pounds his chest, the fury pumping through his closed fist, his mouth clamped forcefully. So distraught, so full of pain. An ache for my old vampire ignites in my chest. The cocky, arrogant one. The fun-loving ray of light. But he’s been darkened by the shadows of truth. The months ripped away from him, thewhat ifs. He’s angry about the time stolen from him, and I’m just relieved he’s here.
I grab his face between my hands, shaking my head. “Look, I don’t care about any of that anymore. I only care that you’re here. Your mother killed Franklin. Your family won. I had our son, I wanted you every minute, and now you’re here, and it’s like…” I stumble, reaching for the words. Tears are stinging, the ball in my chest growing. “It’s like I can see color again. Before it was so gray and ominous. I was lost, slogging through each day the best I could, Aven, the only thing keeping me from drowning. And now, it’s bursting and bright, and in my arms.” I wrap him in the tightest embrace, pulling his chest against mine. “I see a future of beauty, and I’m sure more pain, but you’re in it, so it’s everything I want. You. Me. Aven. Everything.”
His forehead falls to mine, arms pulling around me. “I just…want the time back.”
He squeezes me tightly, and I run my fingers through his hair, grabbing a lock along his neck, whispering, “Don’t you understand? You’re devastated about what you lost while I’m on my knees grateful for what I got back. You.”
Eyes squinting, drinking in my words like a glass of wine, he drops his painful glare to my mouth. He places a soft kiss on my chin, then my jaw, his mouth moving to my ear as he whispers, “I’m trying, I’m trying so hard.”
I soothe him, goosebumps rippling across my skin. “I know it’s hard. But we have us, don’t we? That’s what’s most important. We’re back together.”
His head nods, neck tight with tension. “God, I’ve missed you. Missed this.” His mouth is needy when it covers mine, his fingers digging into my hips. I kiss him back, deeply, ravenously, my desire ignited like the wick of dynamite. His tongue, his taste, his soul. I want it all forever.
His warm mouth grazes my jaw up to my ear. “I miss your mouth so much,” he says, so I give it back to him. All the past feelings bloom in my chest, the lust, the love, just being centimeters away from him and still, it’s not close enough.
Lifting and spinning me, he sets me onto the counter with wild eyes, and I’m sure mine are just as ferocious. Grabbing a fistful of his shirt, I pull his mouth back on mine, his arms wrapping around my ass, pulling me as close as possible.
“Aster,” he growls, and it’s like he has a mouth full of diamonds, it sounds so beautiful coming out. I never thought I would hear it again, so I wrap my legs around his waist. “I’ll spend the rest of my life making it up to you. Every second I’m breathing, I will make it up to you.”
I don’t want nor require such devotion, but the words slide over my body like syrup, and is this what it feels like to have your dreams come true? There are so many hills to climb, so many obstacles in the way, but right now, I feel invincible. I don’t even care if he can’t remember what my grandmother said because he’s in my arms right now, and that’s all that matters.
“All I want is you. Here with us. That’s all I care about,” I pant between kisses, then he grabs the bottom of my shirt and says, “Arms up, baby,” and then my shirt’s over my head, and we are losing control.
“I just need to see you. I missed every part of this body.” He kisses down my chest, to the tops of my breasts, held tight in my bra. His fingers slide down my shorts, across the bare skin of my thighs, and I’m suddenly clenching them, his touch setting me on fire.
A rush of realization hits me hard. My body has changed so much since he last saw it. It’s softer, bigger, it birthed a child.
“My body isn’t the same, Bastian.” And he stills, locking my gaze in his.
“It’s more beautiful than it’s ever been, do you understand me? Tell me you understand me.”
