Page 49 of The Child of Rue Royale
“No, your everything is up in that house, your everything is not right here.”
Grabbing her hand, I pull her into my arms and squeeze her as hard as I can. “My everything is the people that have gotten me this far. The cousin who saved me when I lost Bastian, the woman who was by my side when we went to kill Franklin, the friend who took me in when I had no place to sleep, who helped me through the long months of my pregnancy. Bastian and Aven are my everything, but you are my everything too, my sister in life. Please, please tell me you know that. That you understand that. Please, I need you to know I couldn’t have done any of it without you.”
Her head sinks to my chest. Seeing Chantal weak is not something I’m used to, but strong women are always expected to be strong, aren’t they? They too need somewhere to rest their head. And I forget too often that she needs me just as much as I need her.
I pull her face to meet mine because I want her to know, to feel how much I love her and how sorry I am.
“I’ve put you in terrible positions. I’ve fucked up big time, and for that, I’m so sorry. My life doesn’t work without you in it. If you wantto scream in my face and tell me to go fuck myself, I will hold you after. Please, please understand there is no one I trust like you. You are one of the greatest loves of my life. And I’m sorry. I brought Bastian back because I love him, but also because there’s a piece to this puzzle that he might have. And I will fix this. I promise.”
“When are you going to ask him about your grandmother? About what she whispered?”
I stall, contemplating. “Tomorrow. I have to.”
“Okay,” she whispers, lying down to place her head on my lap, and I stroke her hair and cry silent tears for the beauty and mess I’ve created. I look up to our bedroom windows, and there he is. Watching me. Making sure I’m safe, and I might be for the moment. But the future will come, and the axe will grind, and I will need a plan.
We head into the house, our hands clasped until we quietly part ways into our rooms. Bastian is seated on the bed, his head bowed over the bassinet, still watching his son.
“Is she okay?”
“I hope so,” I say. “I’ve put her in the worst position, and now there’s no turning back for her.”
I step out of my shoes and climb onto the bed. I need to feel Bastian against my bones. I need his arms around me. Taking his hand, I pull him next to me in the bed I once couldn’t sleep in for weeks, and press my back against his chest, his arms encircling me. My entire body exhales in a solace I thought impossible for so long. I find my hands squeezing into his forearm, never wanting to let go again, and his pull to me is just as strong. He kisses the back of my head, my ear, and down my neck.
“Chantal will have my protection forever, though I’m not sure what that’s worth exactly. I’m not as strong. I’m not as fast. I feel like a sloth compared to how I felt when I was a vampire.”
“Do you want to become one again?”
“It’s a huge difference, and I still feel like it’s a part of me somewhere inside. If I were still a vampire, I would have spent my life taking care of and protecting you. But now we can grow old together. What do you think of that?”
I look up at him, a tightening in my belly at the future ahead. “I’d like that,” I admit.
“Me too,” he whispers, the gentlest smile on his lips. “Cassius filled me in about my mother. About how charges were dropped for killingFranklin. How she wants to become the new Vampire Queen. And Cassius, he’s in love with that girl. I mean, really in love. Can you believe that?”
“Nicola wants to be Vampire Queen?”
“I guess so. I think she feels she has more protection for us if she’s Vampire Queen.”
“I didn’t know,” I say, turning my face from his.
“They are still skeptical of witches. But you’ve grown on Cassius.” I hear the smile in his voice.
“He’s grown on me,” I smirk. “Who would have thought?”
“And you saved Marlowe’s life? What can’t you do?”
“I can’t not make a mess of things, Bastian. When my coven finds out Aven is a boy…I don’t know what will happen. And then there’s the fact that I brought you back.” My heart starts racing, my breaths heaving faster than my lungs can keep up with. I need to talk to him about my grandmother, scold him for never telling me a human girl caught him years ago, and I can only imagine how many texts I have from my mother on my phone.
“Hey, hey,” he soothes. “It’s been an insane day. You need sleep,” he whispers in my ear, sending goosebumps down my spine, his arms snaking around my waist, pulling me so tight against him it’s like we’re one. I put my hand behind his head, my fingers finding his smooth waves, my body suddenly aching.
Lips taste my neck, inhaling between soft kisses, each one sizzling upon my skin. A feeling I thought I would never have again, and everything inside me ignites as his hand winds over my hip, pressing to the top of my thigh, pulling my body tightly against him.
“I shouldn’t care about anything else,” I whisper. “All that really matters is you’re here.” I turn in his embrace, eyes looking up to him, my hands clenching his shirt, and I press my lips so tightly against his, there’s no room for breathing, no room for thinking.
His tongue tastes like sugar and memories, his thumb grazes my cheek, and my body finally feels alive. For the first time since he died, desire races through my veins like a bullet, and all I can think of is hischest and his stomach and his thighs. Our kiss is rough and hurried, like we can’t get enough of each other, like it could end at any moment. And then his hand slips between my legs, cupping my ass as he pulls my pelvis flat against his, and it’s like a fire’s been lit between us. His hardness flushes against me, and I swallow because I want this, I want him so badly. My leg wraps around his hip, and it’s like we can’t get close enough, no proximity is too suffocating. I gasp when he grinds against me, hard and thick, everything slamming into me all at once. The intimacy I never knew until I was with him, the undying devotion. Tears blur my vision, forcing me to pause and catch my breath. And then I remember that our son is in the room, so I pull away and open my eyes.
“Aster, we may need to escape to the bathroom.” He sighs, his eyes flashing with the longing I’ve missed more than words. But he sees the tears, and his thumb runs along my cheek, his eyebrows drawing together in concern. “Are you okay?”
“I’m the best I’ve ever been,” I whisper. “Bathroom?” I pant, my heart racing, my head dizzy. It won’t be the first time we’ve made use of a small bathroom.
