Page 71 of The Royal Street Witch
“Why are you telling me this?” But I know the answer before he tells me.
“When he offered me your potion, I knew it came at a cost. As tempting as it was, I knew. But Bastian, he was born with a freedom I can never possess, never learn. And he can be free yet a slave to something at the same time. I don’t want that potion, and he can’t want it anymore either. It will end him.”
“So what’s happened,” I say, putting the pieces together, “is that I’ve created a new addiction for him.” I clutch the wine glass so tightly it cracks between my fingers, delicate little slits making it look more beautiful than damaged. “I don’t understand why he would lie to me, keep this from me.”
“His drinking consumed him, and it was a source of great shame. We all have secrets, my dear. But it ends now. Do you understand?”
It’s a threat, but I’m not threatened by it. I would do the same thing if I were in his shoes.
“It ends now. I understand completely.”
“Good,” he whispers and sips on his wine. “I need rest. You’ll call me if I’m needed?”
“Of course.” I grab my cereal and towel and wrestle with everything Cassius has told me.
I SLINK INTO BED ANDwatch Bastian’s every sleeping move. All I have is my cell phone, stale cereal, and my thoughts. Cassius’s spewing of the truth, the truth that Bastian never told me, has my pride wounded because he’s right. He will always know more about Bastian than I do.
But also, he was the kindest he’s ever been to me, so hope ignites that maybe he can accept me. I can’t see my life without Bastian in it, and Cassius is so important to Bastian. But what does that mean? How can Bastian stay in my life without us being found out?
When the sun finally goes down, Bastian’s eyes flicker awake and I look up to him.
“How do you feel?”
“Like a million bucks. Let’s go dancing.”
My hand finds his and I squeeze.
“Are you okay?” he asks, his bare chest so hollow and sickly looking.
I run my finger under his chin and try to smile. “No,” I whisper and lay my head back on his chest.
He’s silent, contemplating what to say next, and I slide my arm across his stomach and hold him tightly.
“I have really fucked things up, creating that potion and—”
“Don’t start. Don’t start with your regrets. I can’t bear it.” His voice is stark and I sit up, my spine hardening. But once I look into his eyes—so red, and cheeks—so sunken, I realize I can’t be mad at him. Not at a time like this.
“Tell me how you saved me.” He coughs and blood sputters on his lips again, and I dab it away. Thinking back to San Francisco, the city I only saw through a car window, makes my heart pound like a hammer. I don’t want to go back there, but he needs to know. So I tell him everything. He listens in silence, save his ragged breath and slight coughs here and there, but there’s a gentle look on his face, almost serene.
“I knew it was bad when I woke up and felt the blood raging inside of me. I hoped it would come out and I could slip back to bed without you knowing. But hanging over the tub is the last thing I remember, until Curtis got me in the car. And now, you’re really screwed. Because I can’t live without you.”
A weak hand runs through my hair, and how he’s staring…
“I’ll never get tired of how you look at me, as if I created the planet Earth with my bare hands. As if I’m one of the seven wonders of the world.”
“Because you are. Even if you’re my witch that can’t grow things,” he laughs.
“See, I can’t fix everything. And you’ve brought me to my knees twice now. There can’t be a third. Creating something that could have killed you is something I’d never have recovered from. In witchcraft, there’s something to be said about the power of three. We must respect it and we must fear it.”
“I get it,” he says and slowly lifts his hand to my face. His thumb runs along my lip, and I grasp his hand as I close my eyes.
And a text comes through on my phone and my heart drops.
“Shit,” I say, looking at a text from Aunt Violetta. “My aunt, I didn’t text her back.”
“About the visit? When is it? Tomorrow?”
I nod, my finger hovering over the text from her wanting to confirm a time.
