Page 97 of The Moon Also Rises
I text back.
When I see Radia go offline, I put my phone away and close my eyes, listening to the music and mentally travelling back to an English country garden bathed in moonlight. And I stay there lost in that memory, as well as recollections of last night until we’re in my home city.
Jake stirs as we approach Birmingham New Street, and I know I only have a few minutes before we meet Roxana who has confirmed she’s waiting in the car park outside. I need to talk, and quickly.
“Jake,” I say but then pause to take in how adorably cute he is just waking up, all scrunched up eyes and pouting lips.
“Yeah,” he croaks.
“Bit of a random request, but don’t mention my whole being pansexual thing in front of my mom.”
Jake blinks and with that single movement instantly wakes up. “You’re not out to your family?”
“My mom, no. My sisters, yes.”
He doesn’t reply as I see the station’s platform begin.
“So, you won’t mention it?” I prompt.
“Is your mum a homophobe?” Jake asks in a rush. “Because in case you aren’t aware, I reek of gay. And I refuse to go back in the closet for anyone.”
“No, of course not!” I say, horrified he would even think that. “She knows my sister’s gay. She will be absolutely fine with you being gay too.”
Jake blinks again. “Then why aren’t you out to her?”
I sigh and it is such a long, heavy breath that it almost hurts my chest. “It’s a long story, but my mother and I had a very distant relationship for a while. We didn’t talk much and we weren’t very close.”
“When you were living in the States?”
“Yes, and I am trying to repair it, and I just don’t want to do anything to rock that boat.”
Jake lowers his voice to a whisper. A loud whisper admittedly, but I appreciate the gesture. “Rami, have you been with men before? Was I your first?”
I chuckle a little. “Yes, I’ve been with men before.”
“But no relationships?”
“None that I told my parents about.”
As the train comes to a halt, I grab my bag and stand. I am relieved when Jake does the same as I move out into the walkway. Just before we approach the doors that are still closed, I turn back to Jake. “Look, I know it’s nothing to be ashamed of, and I do plan on addressing it in the future, but please could we just not mention it in front of my mother.”
I hear the beep and start walking towards the doors. Over my shoulder, I hear Jake’s response. “It wasn’t like I was planning on mounting you at the dinner table. But yes, you can count on me.”
I can’t help myself turning my head back towards him. “That’s a shame. What about in the kitchen? Any chance of some dry humping there?”
“Not in front of your mother!” He pushes my back lightly. “And did you forget already? We’re supposed to be spending a day together without heavy petting.”
“What aboutlightpetting?” I ask after I’m off the train and turned around to watch Jake step down. He comes to stand right in front of me and I lean towards him.
“Rami,” he warns, and I can smell his breath – coffee and mint – and feel its warmth on my lips. “Let’s at least try, shall we?”
“Okay, I’ll try,” I say but drop my gaze to his mouth.
Maybe I do it because I want him to know that while I’m not out to my mother, I’m not ashamed of who I am or who he is. Maybe I do it because I want to thank him for his promise of confidence. Maybe I do it because I just can’t stop myself and I know this is my last chance to touch him like this today. Whatever the reason is, I close the gap between us and rest my lips against his, closing my eyes to the people walking down the platform around us. While neither of us open our lips to deepen the kiss, our mouths stay locked together for many long seconds before I release Jake and step back.
“Starting now,” I add and when I look at him, I see the same mischievous glint that I know is dancing in my eyes.
Chapter Thirty-One
