Page 78 of The Moon Also Rises
I lean back against the window of the Tube carriage behind us and look at Jake. “Maybe we can try another time? I would really like to have dinner with you, somewhere nice.”
Life returns to Jake’s features. His cheekiest pout and eyebrow raise materialise as he also leans his head back and looks at me.
“Oh, you really did want to have dinner? Here I was thinking that was a euphemism for sex stuff.”
I don’t have words for that, only wide eyes and difficulty swallowing.
Jake briefly glances around the carriage which is still mostly empty before continuing, “You’re such a different man in and out of the bedroom.”
“Am I?”
“You practically blushed when I said ‘sex stuff’ and yet when we were doing the aforementioned ‘sex stuff’ your mouth was filthy.”
It’s not the first time I’ve heard this, but it is the first time I have an explanation for someone.
“That was all you, Forester.” I let my eyes drop to his lips. “You brought that out of me.”
Jake does the same thing, his gaze falling on my mouth. “I liked it. I liked it a lot.”
“Shit,” I say in a whisper, aware of every drop of blood in my body rushing to my groin.
Jake straightens up in his seat. “Uh oh, he’s swearing again.”
Also lifting my head, I stare at my feet. “So no dinner or sex stuff this weekend?”
“Apparently not. But if you decide to change your mind about Sunday, let me know,” he says tucking his phone in his pocket.
“I really won’t,” I say and I hate how snarkily it comes out. I know it’s because I’m annoyed at my own stubborn rules.
“Fine,” Jake says abruptly, and I don’t like how his tone has changed. Did he think I was annoyed at him for suggesting I wouldn’t change my mind? I open my mouth to reassure him but he’s quicker. “You know, maybe it’s a good thing. I mean, us doing dinner and or sex stuff is probably the worst of bad ideas. We are colleagues after all, and when Lionel and Luigi are back from their honeymoon next week I’ll be telling them we’ve broken up. So, actually starting to have some sort of physical relationship would only make that more complicated and chaotic, and frankly, I’m trying to reduce the amount of chaos and complications in my life.”
I study his face to find maybe a crack of doubt, but I don’t see it. He looks calm, almost. This is what Jake wants. He wants us to be colleagues, not lovers. He wants us to be colleagues, not friends.
And I have to respect that.
Chapter Twenty-Five
Jake
“It’s just a crush,” I say, wine glass aloft in my hand.
“Jake, I’ve not seen you go this gooey-eyed about a man in years, possibly a decade,” Dana says with undeniable sincerity.
“Well, there’s no need to draw attention to the drought of decent men that’s been my love life.”
“I mean, because I’ve been living abroad for five years,” Dana slurs and playfully taps my forearm, and her touch lingers as she starts stroking my shirt. If she keeps drinking at this pace, I’ll have her leaning on my shoulder in an hour and possibly shortly after that she’ll be offering me a feel of her breasts.
“But it’s actually true,” I say nodding to myself. “Rami is one of the more decent specimens I’ve had a crush on in a long time.”
Apart from Lionel, I think to myself, but I’m not going to bring that up with Dana because I never told her about him. I didn’t tell anyone. Maybe that should have been a sign that Lionel and I were never meant to be.
“So, what are you going to do about it?” Dana gulps back another mouthful of prosecco.
“Absolutely nothing,” I state the obvious.
“What? Why?”
“Oh, you want a list. Here we go. One, we work together. Two, he’s way out of my league. Once he’s been in London for more than five minutes he’ll be fighting off people left, right and centre so he’ll soon get bored of me. Three, based on this and well,me, my relationships never last more than five minutes and having to work with him after we’ve ended a short-lived situationship will be even more painful than it already is. Despite how easy on the eye he is, and how he occasionally gives me butterflies, I still don’t really enjoy sharing an office with him.”
