Page 62 of The Moon Also Rises
“Now, if you’ll excuse me.” I turn again and leave.
“Oh, Jake. He’s so smitten with you.” I hear Lionel say before I open the door to… another bedroom. A very small bedroom where virtually the whole space is taken up by a double bed, but still, it’s not a bathroom. I open the door opposite and find what I’m looking for. After doing what I need to, I go to the sink and wash my hands. While I’m lathering the soap in my hands, I glance up at my reflection in the mirror and my smile takes me by surprise. It’s not that I thought I’d look miserable – I mean, I’m having a nice evening with nice people and even Jake is on his best behaviour – but the creases around my eyes and the sheen in them indicates I’m something I haven’t seen much of recently. Happiness. I’m happy.
After drying my hands, I start walking back towards the kitchen-living area but stop before I walk through the doorway when I hear what Lionel is saying.
“It must have been a terrible break-up to make him leave America. Do you know much about him, his ex?”
“I know thathewas ashe,” Jake says with emphasis on both pronouns. Suddenly I feel my smile waver.
“Really?” Lionel says with a small gasp.
“Oh, well, we’ve all been there,” Luigi slurs.
“Speak for yourself, Jake and I are both gold-star gays over here,” Lionel says with a chuckle.
“Ha! Well, many of us make this mistake, it just sounds like Rami was making his for quite some time,” Luigi says with what is probably a laugh but sounds more like whooping cough.
“No, not a mistake. He’s pansexual,” Jake says and it’s so unusual to hear him speak in such a neutral tone that I almost can’t believe it’s him.
Silence fills the room.
“And how do you feel about that?” Luigi asks eventually.
“Luigi!” Lionel is quick to admonish his husband and that earns him the points that his spouse just lost.
“I feel nothing about it,” Jake says, his tone now almost cold. “Are you implying that I should be concerned?”
“I’m just saying that—” Luigi begins.
“I don’t think you should.” I hear Lionel say and it’s the first time his voice has sounded anything other than soft and sweet.
“But,mi amore—”
“No, Luigi. We have both been far too nosey. And what you’re implying sounds a little… offensive.”
“It sounds very pan-phobic, or biphobic. Whatever the right terminology is,” Jake says, and I can imagine his hands waving around his face like they always do. “That’s my boyfriend you’re talking about.”
My chest shouldn’t stretch out. But it does. My heart shouldn’t beat a little faster. But it does. My smile shouldn’t land back on my face, even bigger than before. But it does.
“I didn’t mean to insult anyone. You know I like Rami, a lot. I was just curious—” I almost feel sorry for Luigi trying again.
“Curiosity killed the cat, darling,” Lionel says, and I can imagine his kind, dark eyes levelling on Luigi’s.
“Let me go and prepare dessert.” Jake claps his hands. “And I think we need to open another bottle of wine. I’ll get right onto that.”
I wait until I see him in the kitchen,pulling out dishes from the fridge, before I walk in. As I approach him, I feel a nervous energy charge through my body, making me feel a strange mix of both tense and loose. It’s like an electro-magnetic current and it takes me closer and closer to Jake.
“Oh, there you are! I thought you’d fallen in the loo or something.” He turns to look at me and that flop of hair at the front falls down the centre of his forehead. I step towards him and lift my hand to brush it away. His bottom lip drops and I take it as an invitation to press my mouth against his in a long but chaste kiss. It’s like a tempered version of the kiss I gave him after dancing toP.Y.T.Our mouths stay closed, we don’t move our heads, but we’re connected. We’re joined together.
“Been wanting to do that all evening,” I say in a low voice as I pull away, not that it would matter if Luigi and Lionel hear. Maybe I should have said it louder so that they can, but I didn’t say it for them. I said it for Jake. And myself, because on an evening when a lot of lies are being told, it feels good to tell the truth for once.
Chapter Nineteen
Jake
Lionel is drunk. And Luigi is absolutely wasted.
There was something about the small confrontation we had about Rami’s sexuality that made the latter turn to alcohol and Lionel is too polite to let his husband drink alone. They have polished off the third bottle of wine I’ve opened this evening and considering I’ve barely had a glass and a half since I opened the first, that means they’ve each polished off more than one each.
