Page 144 of The Moon Also Rises
He may not have said it yet, but I see it. I see it in the way his moonlight eyes search my face for answers as he waits for my response. I saw it in the way he danced his socks off and presumably somehow reached out to my sister and many of my friends to join him in doing so. And I heard it in everything he just said to me. And I am reeling from it all. Seeing and feeling someone’s love for you is almost more powerful than hearing them declare it.
Rami coughs when I still don’t reply. He rocks back as he speaks. “Jake, I know I’m not allowed to rush you, I barely have the right to stand in front of you and tell you all these things, but I’m sort of dying to know what’s going on inside that beautiful head of yours,” he rushes on before I can even open my mouth, “and it doesn’t matter if you don’t feel the same. It doesn’t matter if you need more time. I’ll happily wait the longest time until whenever you’re ready.”
Well, that makes it easier.
“No, I don’t want that,” I say firmly.
“You don’t…” Shock pulls Rami’s eyes wide.
“I don’t want you to wait.” I’m amazed my voice is as level as it is.
Rami shakes his head and looks like he believes the ground under his feet is about to give way.
Finally, I lift my hand to touch him, something I’ve been dying to do since I saw him standing in front of me in the courtyard. I cup his face with my hand and treasure the way he leans into it. “I want you to start today, little moon. I want you to start your orbit, today.”
There are more things I want to say, more ways I want to acknowledge what he just told me, but I don’t get the chance. Rami’s hands grab me and pull me close to his body and because he’s one step higher, I’m forced to crane my neck as his mouth presses down on mine.
And I swear the Earth tilts a little more on its axis and spins a little faster. Because everything else disappears. The noise around us. The traffic behind me. The buzzing busy thoughts in my head. They all vanish as Rami deepens his grip and his kiss.
This man loves me. I believe it in my bones.
And I love him.
Suddenly, I have to tell him. I pull away from the kiss.
“Rami, I—”
“I fucking love you.” He beats me to it.
I smile against his lips. “You swore.”
“Yes, because it fucking matters,” he says and kisses the tip of my nose. “I fucking love you, Jake Forester.”
“I fucking love you, Rami Kazimi.”
“You do?” He leans back further, assessing me as disbelief keeps his expression open.
“You literally just stole all my thunder at my fortieth birthday party and I’m still letting you shove your tongue in my mouth.” I push my forehead against his lips, claiming another kiss there. “Yes, I love you.”
Feeling his hands grip either side of my face, I’m pushed back again as he takes my mouth once more. My arms slide under his tux jacket and up his back as our tongues clash and I love how familiar his warm body feels. I’ve missed it so much. I hope I never have to miss it again.
“I have so much to tell you,” Rami says after sucking my bottom lip into his mouth. “I want to be completely honest with you about everything, totally transparent. I mean, you probably have some questions.”
He’s right, of course. We have so much to talk about. Because I want to know it all. I want him to fill in this frustrating void that has admittedly haunted us, but I also know now it hasn’t consumed us. Because just as he told me, Rami is so much more than his past. He is the man standing before me offering me his heart and his future. And that is more important than anything.
Besides, we hopefully have long years of filling in blanks ahead of us. I’m only forty. I’m still young.
“I only have one that I need you to answer right now,” I say. “Are you going to come in and celebrate the rest of my party with me?”
“Yes,” he says and moisture lights up his eyes. “I’d love to. And after that, I’m going to carry you upstairs to the suite I booked.”
“That was… confident of you.” I’m trying to bite back my smile.So, daydreams really can come true, huh?
“I would have used it for crying in had you not been ready or willing to join me.”
“Rami, it looks like you’re crying now.” I lift a finger to wipe away a tear that is sliding down his cheek.
“It’s possible,” he says and sniffs lightly.
