Page 91 of The Moon Also Rises
Jake
Iwake in a bed that’s not my own, and my first thought is pancakes, because that’s what I can smell. A sweet, warm and airy fragrance, my nose is full of it before I even open my eyes. When I do, I realise where I am, and then it doesn’t matter how good the scent is, I panic. I panic because in just a few quick seconds I relive the whole of last night.
The way he spoke to me. The way he bossed me around. The way he let me call him Daddy. The way he studied my face as I came. The way he held me afterwards, whispering the most unbearable of sweet words until I must have fallen asleep.
I close my eyes and take a moment to replay those final moments in his arms. I remember so clearly wanting to cry. I remember wanting to sob my tired heart out so I could carry on without it. I remember fighting so hard to not let a single tear fall, but I don’t know if I succeeded. God, I hope I didn’t cry in front of Rami.
“Good morning,” a voice says from beside the bed and I jolt my eyes open as I let out a squeak of shock.
“Sorry,” Rami says, standing next to me wearing just the jogging bottoms from last night.God, he looks good. The bastard.“I thought you were awake.”
“I was, just didn’t realise you have a stealth mode.” I push to sit up but keep the covers around my waist.
“I brought you coffee and pancakes. American style of course. Didn’t get much from living in LA for ten years, but I did learn how to make good pancakes.”
A little hint of that helpless urge to cry reveals itself inside me once more as I take the plate and mug he’s offering me.
“And I’m allowed to eat in your bed?” I ask, placing the mug on the bedside table.
“I brought them here, didn’t I?”
“I just have a strict no-eating rule in my bed,” I say but then embrace the opportunity to cock my eyebrow. “Unless…”
“I don’t think you need to finish that sentence,” he says, but he’s smiling at me indulgently.
It should be jarring, seeing him switch back to his slightly prudish self. I should be feeling paranoid or self-conscious that our dynamic last night was so different to what it is normally, but of all the things I’m feeling, that is not one of them. It’s actually nice he’s being normal with me. It possibly suggests he doesn’t think differently about me. Possibly.
After Rami sits on the bed next to me, and I’ve taken a few delicious bites of the food, I watch him sip his coffee. Maybe he’s actingtoonormally. Maybe the pancakes and being nice is all an act. I blame it on my self-sabotaging tendencies that I feel the need to test this theory.
“So now you know I have Daddy Issues,” I say and Rami promptly spits a mouthful of coffee back into his mug.
“Pardon?” He coughs.
“Last night. The whole calling you Daddy thing.” I close my eyes and wave my hands around.
When I open my eyes again, I see Rami looking at me with a furrowed brow, his eyes darting around my face. “I don’t think that means you have Daddy Issues.”
“Well, I do,” I say as I take another bite.
“Jake, are you okay?”
Chewing gives me far too much time to formulate my reply. “Am I okay? Well, I just shagged my co-worker and the only way I was able to climax was from him calling me a good boy and giving me permission to come, all while I was calling him Daddy like the pathetic man with abandonment issues that I am.”
“Jake, I—” Rami tries to speak.
“It’s fine. I’m not shaming myself. Not really. I’m nearly forty fucking years old. I’m well aware of what pushes my buttons and what doesn’t, I just don’t always share those things with someone else and rarely is it so—” I stop speaking.
“So, what, Jake?” Rami asks and his voice has the edge I love in it again. The one that slows my senses and melts my insides.
“Nothing,” I say quietly and fill my mouth with hot coffee. Damn it. It’s an extra strong coconut milk latte, just how I like it.
Rami sighs. “Would it make you feel better if I told you how much I enjoyed it?”
“You did?” I turn to look at him.
“Yes, Jake. I loved it. I haven’t… I haven’t had a night like that in a long time.”
“Oh,” I say.
