Page 19 of The Moon Also Rises
“You know I am still here?” I say, my voice shaky. Objectively, I know it’s a good sign that my sisters like to banter about my past, but it’s one thing to know how royally you fucked up and quite another to make a joke about it, especially with those you hurt most.
“That’s precisely why we’re still banging on about it,” Radia clarifies. “Can’t have you even thinking about doing anything similar ever again.”
“Like I would,” I say with a shudder but it’s not because the possibility horrifies me, it’s because I fear that the part of me that did join RemiX, that cut off my family still lives inside me.
“He can’t,” Roxie pipes up. “He’s thrown out all his linen. They wouldn’t let him back in.”
“That’s right. He’s back in his Steve Jobs era,” Radia adds.
“Steve Jobs?” I ask, frowning as I side-step both Radia and Roxie’s players.
“Only ever wearing black. Partial to a roll-neck for special occasions.”
“I’ve always liked black and roll-neck jumpers,” I say defensively.
“Not something to be proud of,” Radia replies.
“Oh, piss off.”
“Rads, he’s going to come right around the side of—” Roxie warns our sister.
“Oh, yeah, I got him!” Radia says gleefully.
“Nope. Not this time.” I steer Toad away at the very last second to avoid Radia’s Daisy.
“Let’s try and corner him next,” Roxie says.
“Seriously? Can’t you just let me win one round?”
“My answer is the same.” Radia’s voice turns menacing. “You owe us.”
I groan. “How long do I have to pay my dues for it all?” Not that I care what the answer is because I already plan on showing my sisters and mother how sorry I am for the rest of my days.
“At least another five years. What do you think Roxie?”
“To be honest, I’ve nearly forgotten all about it. I just like how he’s back now,” Roxana replies, and her words warm my gut in a way that feels almost overwhelming and certainly overly generous.
“Yeah, it’s kind of nice,” Radia says. “Oh, just let me get you, Toad! I have to go in a minute anyway.”
“Oh, yes, dinner with the Queer Eyes,” I say referring to Radia’s friends, mostly fellow graduates from her fashion course that she did at Central St Martins.
“Yep. I need help deciding what to wear for Saturday.” Radia’s voice suddenly gets louder. “FOR MY THIRD DATE WITH THE POSSIBLE LOVE OF MY LIFE!”
“Love your optimism,” I half-laugh, half-mumble as I somehow side-step Roxie’s Yoshi for the second time in as many seconds.
“I don’t think you know how I feel about her,” Radia says. “Like I wake up smiling. She makes me smile before I even open my eyes. And you both know how much I hate mornings.”
“Ugh, don’t remind me,” I agree.
“Oh, you didn’t even see her at her worst,” Roxie chimes in. “When you were out in the desert hanging out in your cult, it was my job to bang pots and pans outside her door to wake her up whenever she came to stay and would sleep past ten o’clock.”
Radia is quick to disagree with her sister but I’m not listening. I’m too busy reeling from Roxie’s words, or rather one specific word.Cult. I still have a problem with that word. Not because it’s not true. RemiX was a cult, I know that now. But knowing that doesn’t make it hurt any less.
“Yeah, I’m sorry about that,” I mutter.
“Oh, Rami, you need to stop being sorry,” Radia says. “Grovelling is not a good look.”
“But you just said I have to pay my dues for five years!” I protest while also trying to keep the conversation as jokey as possible.
