Page 131 of The Moon Also Rises
“But I don’t understand,” Jenna says eventually. “If Rami was there supporting you through that, where is he now?”
“In California.”
“He moved back? Is that why you broke up?”
“Yes, no, I don’t really know.”
I hear Jenna’s slow exhale down the phone. “Jake, I’m so sorry you felt like you couldn’t tell me about your debt. If I ever gave you the impression I would judge you or think less of you, I’m truly sorry.”
I shake my head as I squeeze the phone against my ear. “It’s not that at all. It’s more I judged myself for getting in this mess and I couldn’t bear anyone else to have similar harsh, horrid thoughts about me. Especially you.”
Jenna’s voice quivers when she speaks next. “Oh, Jakey, I can’t bear the thought of you struggling with this on your own for all this time. And I hate that you’re alone now. Let me look up flights. I could come tomorrow and spend the week with you.”
My sigh comes out more like a groan. “I’m touched, really but there’s no point. I have to work tomorrow. We have a wedding at one of our venues. In fact, it’s the venue where I’m going to have my fortieth.”
“Speaking of, and before I forget. That’s sort of why I’ve been trying to get in touch with you. Well, on top of the fact I love you and I need to hear your voice at least once a week or I start going a bit senile.”
“I think I’m the same. It may explain my current state of mind,” I say realising I still haven’t told her the most outlandish part of this whole saga but I wait for her to tell me what she wants to first.
“So, firstly, Maeve has confirmed she’ll come with us. A bit reluctantly, I have to admit – she’s worried she’ll be out of place—”
“Pah! I’ll text her myself to tell her she better be there. She’ll be guest of honour!”
“That’s what I said!”
“I’m so glad she’s coming,” I say, and I really am. It melts a little of the tension in my shoulders and the ache in my gut. There are good people in my life. People who love and care about me. Maybe a part of me will always wish Rami was one of them but I have others. I have people. I have love.
“And she won’t be the only other extra guest,” Jenna says in a weird voice.
“Oh, who else are you dragging over here? Are Cynthia and James coming? I hope they know they’re very welcome,” I say referring to Marty’s parents who have also come to feel like family.
“No,” Jenna says slowly. “I’ll be bringing the extra person… not that they’re a person… yet.”
Realisation crashes into me and it almost knocks me sideways as I grip the phone even tighter and feel my mouth fall open. A second later, I burst into tears. Maybe they’re tears that I’ve had stored up for Rami and now I finally have a reason to shed them, or maybe they’re tears that are just deserving of this occasion.
“You’re pregnant?” I gasp out.
“Yes,” Jenna confirms and the delight in her voice is beautifully audible. “It’s still very early but I’ve taken several tests and had it confirmed at the doctors too.”
“Oh, Jenna,” I say. “That’s wonderful news. I’m so very happy for you.”
And I am. The happiness is bubbling up inside me in a way that feels miraculous. The last few weeks have left me wondering if I was even capable of feeling such joy and it is instantly healing to know I am.
“I wanted you to be the first person I told,” she says with a sniff. “If only you had answered your fucking phone two weeks ago.”
Here is where the blade of guilt strikes. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry, Jen. I wasn’t thinking. I was—”
“Shh. I’m not really angry. I’m just sorry you weren’t the first person I told. Cynthia guessed it from the moment I ordered a decaf coffee after yoga together.”
“She’s quite the detective,” I say, imagining her and James’ excitement.
“You have no idea. She’s already quite the amateur midwife. I think she’ll be very offended when I explain I’d prefer her son, the baby’s father, in the room when I give birth rather than her.”
“Oh, gosh, Marty. He must be in heaven?”
I swear I hear Jenna swallow before she answers. “I’ve never seen him happier.”
“God, I can’t wait to see you at the party now,” I say, wiping more tears from my eyes.
