Page 67 of Puck You
“Something serious is going on with Gabs, Dad.She’s starting to—”
I stopped myself before I went too far, the words dying on my lips.She’s starting to look and act like Mom did.Gabby took after our mother physically, but that wasn’t what I was referring to.There was an emptiness behind her eyes that was all too familiar.
“I know that you tried to do everything right with Mom and she still left.But we can’t sit back and watch Gabs get worse.”
“I’ll talk to her, kiddo.”Dad relented, dropping the sponge into the sink and pulling me into his chest for a hug.“If she won’t talk to me, I’ll speak with a counselor at school about getting her an appointment.”
I willed myself not to cry.“I don’t want to lose her the same way we lost Mom.”
“I won’t let that happen,” he assured me.“I promise.”
We finished cleaning the dishes in a strange silence.The whole time, my dad kept pausing to glance over at me, only to look away when I tried to face him.I couldn’t help but feel like he was trying to work up the courage to tell me something, but when everything was put away, he slunk off into the living roomto watch the Discovery Channel.This should feel better, I thought.With a tightness in my chest I was desperate to alleviate, I grabbed two empty wineglasses and headed upstairs.Sam was lying across my bed on her stomach, paging through one of our old high school yearbooks.
“This was not a good year for my hair,” she said, pointing to her sophomore year school picture.
I settled down beside her on the bed.“That was right about the time I went through my weird eyebrow phase.”
“That was such an iconic choice,” she said with a laugh and closed the yearbook.“So, how didthatgo?”
I shrugged.“Kind of as expected.He didn’t say much.You know my dad, he’s not a man of many words.He said he would talk to her about going to the school counselor.”
“That’s a step in the right direction,” Sam assured me.“I’ll check in on her, okay?I won’t let anything happen while you’re at school.But you need to focus on finishing your senior year of college.Have fun, let yourself kiss that hot-ass hockey player.”
I let out a groan of frustration at the mention of Sebastian.When I’d left for break, I’d done so with the highest confidence that being away from Dallard would help smother the burning need inside of me.But the distance wasn’t helping to curb my appetite.
“I want to do more than kiss him,” I admitted.
“Why don’t you?”
“I’ve only known him four months, and half that time it was an effort to keep from strangling one another.”
“You were hurt by someone you loved, but that doesn’t mean every person will let you down,” she said.“Sleeping with Sebastian doesn’t have to be anything more than sex.Keep thingscasual.Focus on your physical connection and have fun.”
Keep things casual.Was I capable of doing that?
“Don’t compare Sebastian to what you had with Matt,” she added.“They don’t have to be the same.”
“Stop reading my mind, you witch!”I threw one of my decorative pillows at Sam, and she batted it down to the ground.I hated when she was right.
“Promise me something, will you?”she asked, her voice quiet.“Put Grace first, just this once.You can’t keep showing up for everyone but yourself.”
“I’ll try, I promise.”
>> <<
Later that night, after finishing off a bottle of wine and watchingElf, I found myself lying awake next to Sam, listening to the soft sounds of her snoring.Even the alcohol hadn’t helped me fall asleep.I pushed off the blankets and slid out of the bed.Before I even knew where I was going, my feet stopped in front of Gabby’s room.I pressed my ear against her door and held my breath, listening for a sign that she was awake.After several long seconds of silence, I pushed open the door and stepped inside.
The room was dark save for a thin strip of moonlight that spilled from a part in her curtains.Gabby was asleep with her headphones in.I could her the faint hum of her music in the silence.She was just like me when it came to being trapped inside her head.Slowly, I lowered myself into her bed and scooted up beside her.She shifted as I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her into my chest.
“What the hell,” she mumbled, blinking open her sleep-heavy eyes.
I didn’t say anything.Instead, I tightened my hold around her and pulled her even closer to my chest.She used to sneak into my bed all the time growing up, usually after a bad dream or during a thunderstorm.
“Grace, get off of me,” she huffed, though she made little effort to push me away.
“I miss you,” I said, closing my eyes and willing myself to remember the days when she would beg to have a sleepover in my room.
Gabby didn’t say anything for a while.I was afraid to move, scared that any sudden shift would have her huffing at me to get out, but it never came.I nearly cried the next time she spoke.
