Page 100 of Puck You
Lydia finally looked up at me.“A grand gesture.She’ll forgive you either way, but if you make it special, I’ll forgive you too.”
The revelation came as a complete shock.
“You don’t even realize it, do you?”She rolled her eyes in exasperation.“Grace thinks she’s just as much to blame as you are.If you ask me, you’re both stubborn idiots.”
Grace blamed herself?
“I don’t understand.”
“Yeah, you and me both.”
Lydia’s fingers stilled over the sketch of a woman’s face.There were blurred tears streaming down her sunken cheekbones.The emotion etched within the eyes could not be mistaken for anything other than misery.
“It doesn’t matter if you’re both to blame.What you said was inexcusable, especially after I told you to be careful with her, so you need to be the one to apologize first.”
“I know I messed up.I regret everything I said to her that night.”I waited for Lydia to ask me why I’d done it, but after a long pause, I realized she didn’t care about the why.“I think I know how to make things right, but it might require your assistance.”
“I thought you’d never ask.”
>> > <<
Things got better after we returned to campus.I’d been holding on to so much hurt that breaking down after the championship game served to ease a bit of the pain.But I was still far from healed.As the school year stretched into April, I found myself feeling more and more desperate for closure.It was something my new therapist said I was owed.We talked a lot about Sebastian at our weekly sessions, almost as much as we talked about my mom.I hadn’t yet worked up the courage to open her letters, but I thought about it every day.As I warmed up to the idea of letting her back into my life, I grew more terrified at the prospect of confronting Sebastian.I was scared to look him in the eyes and see that it was truly over.
On days when I didn’t want to get out of bed, or even go to class, I had two pesky roommates who were determined to seeme smile.Caroline started taking me to the local animal shelter to volunteer, and I’d become a frequent third wheel to Lydia and her girlfriend, Nina.But the strangest new development came in at six feet six inches tall.One day, Bryce appeared from between the bookshelves in Nelson Library and sat down opposite me.I wasn’t sure how he’d known to find me there, or who’d told him to come, if anyone had, but I didn’t question his motives.It was weird at first, hanging out just the two of us, but we didn’t speak much, and it didn’t have to be said that Sebastian was not to be discussed.
The end of April came with the news that the men’s team were advancing to the final round of the Frozen Four.When the big day finally arrived, I felt a strange sense of bitter excitement.Sam was here for the weekend, and I had every suspicion her insistence on visiting was because of the championship game.I was being babysat by all of my friends.
“I don’t know if I can be here,” I admitted, taking in the projector mounted along the back wall.The game stream hadn’t started yet, but the feed showed an image of the rink as two announcers chatted about their predictions for the match.Caroline had reserved a room at the student union so that the whole team could watch together.
“Sebastian isn’t the only one on the team,” Lydia reminded me.“Don’t you want to see the other guys play?”
