Page 7 of Blinded By Forever
“It’s not that simple.”
“Yes, it is! You keep walking away from me and making me feel like complete shit like I’m not enough for you.”
He looks at me like I’m crazy.
Like I’m crazy for feeling like this. “When I have I ever fucking said that?” He raises his voice.
“You didn’t have to say anything, Hayden. You show it through your actions. Nodding when I’m trying to make conversation with you, always leaving all day and not returning home for dinner, checking your phone for messages, not looking at me!” I can’t stop the tears from my eyes. “I know you’d never cheat Hayden but why does it feel like you are? Your job or whatever you’re doing with Killian and Rowan, you’re cheating on me with that because for some reason, the Hayden I fell in love with, isn’t coming home.”
He shakes his head. “Don’t do that. I don’t mean to make you feel like that, it’s just I’m trying to protect you.”
“I didn’t ask you to protect me! I asked you to be here!”
The silence that follows is deafening and we stare at each other, both breathing heavily. I can’t help the tears that fall and I wipe them away. “Shit,” I say, feeling embarrassed for crying in front of my own husband.
“Mommy?” We both turn at the same time. Easton is standing at the first step of the stairs holding his tiger stuffed animal while rubbing his tiny fists against his eyes. “Why are you yelling?”
Shit.
I walk up to him and pick him up to hold him up to my waist. “I’m sorry, baby. We didn’t mean to wake you.” He looks past me to Hayden, confusion written all over his face. “Let’s get you back to bed, okay?” He nods and buries his face in my neck.
As I carry him upstairs I look back once.
Hayden stands there, jaw clenched, hands in fists at his sides.
And the moment I’m out of sight, I hear the front door open.
And close.
Hard.
Four
Hayden
The house isquiet when I get back.
Too quiet.
It’s the kind of silence that makes you feel like you don’t belong in your own home.
I stand in the hallway for a second, letting the weight of everything sink in. My fists still ache from how tightly I clenched them. My jaw too. From holding back all the things I didn’t say earlier.
I never wanted to yell at her. Not Jaclyn but, fuck, I was stretched so thin I felt like I might snap straight down the middle.
Whenever I get a message from Killian, I can’t help but go into some sort of protective zone or something. Like I can’t show or tell anything to Jaclyn in order to protect her.
The message from Killian during dinner, I didn’t expect it. He sent me more information on the person who is possibly stealing from him and Rowan hasn’t stopped blowing up my phone. I felt overwhelmed and then I had my beautiful wife, sitting in front of me waiting for me to notice her.
I drop my keys on the counter and head upstairs.
I go into River’s room first, checking on her. She’s sleeping snuggly in her little princess bed that I built for her. She is holding a Simba stuffy against her chest. Her mouth is parted as she snores loudly.
I move a strand of hair away from her face and lean down to press a gentle kiss to her forehead. She looks so much like her mother with the soft brown eyes and long brown hair. She is a creative kid and has such a wild imagination like Jaclyn.
I leave River’s room and check on Junior who is right across from River’s. Junior has one leg out of his bed and he is completely sprawled out on the bed. His night lamp is on because he’s secretly scared of the dark but he will always act like tough shit.
His room is a mess like always even though Jaclyn and I tell him all the time to clean up after himself.
